Funny skydiving presentation at work?

[livendive 8]

So this afternoon we have a 4-hour year-end potluck at work. The VP has decreed "Yeah verily, each group will demonstrate some sort of talent or by other means entertain the rest of the department". Late yesterday afternoon, my boss called me while out in the lab and said that nobody had stepped forward, that other groups had karate demonstrations and other "cool" things, and we were just going to have to sing Christmas carols...unless I was willing to bring in a parachute and give some sort of presentation on skydiving. I said something about bringing in a tandem rig and harnessing someone up...he said pick someone...I said, "It was YOUR idea!" When I got back to my office, I read all the emails back and forth and found that I'd "volunteered" and he was hoping I'd pack a parachute. So I guess I'm gonna take in my sport rig for actually opening up/repacking, and a tandem rig to make him uncomfortable. That's where I need suggestions. In a casual but professional environment, where's the line for how much I can embarass him? Actually hooking up and making him arch between my legs is probably on the wrong side of it, and I'm damn sure not going to stow his excess legstraps, so how should I go about making it funny? Frap hat & over-the-glasses goggles? Ugliest jumpsuit I can find? I'm sure dz.com can come up with some way to make this more fun than a simple "4 methods of instruction, 120 mph, etc, etc" speech.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[AggieDave 6]

Tandem harness + rope from ceiling + boss = pinata fun at work!

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[2fat2fly 0]

First Question
Do you want to be employed at the end of the day?

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[livendive 8]

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First Question
Do you want to be employed at the end of the day?

My skydiving income is maybe 5% of my "real job" income, so yeah...still employed is good. That's why I said "Where's the line?" I'm not 100% perfect at toeing the correct side of the decorum line and occasionally step a little across it.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[flyhi 24]

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where's the line for how much I can embarass him?

Go German; Speedo's and long black socks.

Shit happens. And it usually happens because of physics.

[livendive 8]

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Tandem harness + rope from ceiling + boss = pinata fun at work!

That would be great if I knew the first thing about the structural integrity of the "false ceiling" in the conference room.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[Lindercles 0]

That just makes it all the more funny.

[wmw999 2,589]

Do the tandem harness, then explain what you'd do as the tandem master. Get him to tighten the straps, while explaining how you would normally do that yourself. Explain it slowly, with references to bubbas and throwbacks you have TM'd. Use the words "now that I have you where I want you" a lot, and go research the tandem master jokes thread in Instructors.

Then take them through the jump, equally colorfully, without using him as anything more than a prop. That they all imagine as they think about the jump.

They'll all get a bang imagining it, he'll know that he was only the stand-in for the butt of the joke. He has to be awfully thin-skinned for that to be beyond the pale.

Then show some cool videos...

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

[AggieDave 6]

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Then take them through the jump, equally colorfully, without using him as anything more than a prop. That they all imagine as they think about the jump.

"Well, if we were really going to complete this jump you would get to jump with someone famous!"

"What you don't recognize me?"

"You must not watch a lot of gay porn..."

That might be a bit over the line for at work, depends on where you work I guess.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[turtlespeed 226]

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Frap hat & over-the-glasses goggles? Ugliest jumpsuit I can find? I'm sure dz.com can come up with some way to make this more fun than a simple "4 methods of instruction, 120 mph, etc, etc" speech.

Blues,
Dave

The J O B is the J O B . . . how good is his sense of humor when in public.

Perhaps a better idea is to find out who he might "dislike" and take advantage of that - insofar as to even let them hang between your knees. Guy - pink jumpsuit, pink frap hat, etc. etc.

Another approach would be to offer whomever was up to the task a Tandem at your cost. That MIGHT (Doubtful) bring a few takers out of the hiuding places they dwell in.

Yet one more is to have him bring in his wife - but that might be for other reasons . . .

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[happythoughts 0]

A lot of "5th attachment point" jokes are funny at the dz.
At corporate environments, they are sexual orientation jokes. I'd let those slide. All our tech writers were gay and loved to "identify issues".

I would stick to the fear jokes or the "your first time? me too" stuff.

[livendive 8]

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I would stick to the fear jokes or the "your first time? me too" stuff.

It ended up being in front of 150-200ish people, and all the other groups had prepared stuff with A/V, skits, etc, and I just did the kind of stuff you're talking about from my normal tandem schtick. Made had him do birdcalls while I was tightening the harness (he's an Audubon Society type) and then abruptly yanked the legstraps in the middle of one. Explained tandem surfing and said we do that to students who don't do what we want...then as I got to the point where I was about to tell him to pick his feet up for landing, casually asked how my raise was looking. Closest I got to a fifth point of connection joke was saying the only requirements were reasonably fit and happy to sit on my lap for 20 minutes, making him eminently qualified. At the end of all the performances, there was an applause-based award to the group who'd been the most entertaining and we got it handily. I did get a bunch of compliments and questions about pricing, scheduling, weight limits etc afterwards.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[guppie01 0]

You're such a stud!!!!

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?