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happythoughts

the attractive them

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I can't find this quote and I am too lazy too google it, so live with it. If it is fake, it is still interesting.

I read a long time ago that Gloria Steinem once said about dating. Essentially, she said "I have become the people that I wanted to date."

She was working was fascinated by the educated, powerful, politically connected, rich. She dated lawyers, senators, political figures. When she became a lawyer with strong political affiliations, those people came to see her.

A female friend remarked that she was fascinated by a guy who could "pick the right wine" or "attend special events". After 4 months, the "newness" wore off. She had learned everything that he knew and she was bored.

I know a few women who have their job, their house, their cat. They don't seem as concerned about relationships.

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A female friend remarked that she was fascinated by a guy who could "pick the right wine" or "attend special events". After 4 months, the "newness" wore off. She had learned everything that he knew and she was bored.



I see her point.. I like to be constantly challenged.. stimulated..entertained.. enjoy converstaions and be comfortable in silences.. thats all important but you cant just sit back and expect everything to happen to you.
If your friend was absorbing everything from her partners and then tossing them.. maybe she should put some effort in to giving back and try to enjoy that a bit.
It works both ways.

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so... are you saying I shouldn't go to a wine tasting class to learn about wines or I should? (I mean I know a little... but I could stand to learn a bit more...) :$



I have no idea. I will tell you why. Because there is no "one woman" definition. If you spend all your time trying to be what "every woman wants", you will fail.
"All women" don't drink wine or really care about it.

You will also be miserable because, like 90% of people, 90% of women do boring crap.

A lot of women hate going to a sports bar and watching "the game". They do it to hang out, like guys who go shopping for "cute shoes" just for the company.

Be yourself and be happy. The downside is that you get rejected by a few hotties when the personalities clash. A relationship wouldn't work anyway, it is just irritating because you miss the short term fun.

If you are yourself, the non-interested parties will introduce you to their 5 hot friends as a cool, happy, honest person.

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I see her point.. I like to be constantly challenged.. stimulated..entertained.. enjoy converstaions and be comfortable in silences..



"Being comfortable in silences" has two components.

- The biggest warning sign is the person who is "bored" all the time. They have no interests. You can never provide them with constant distraction.

- The second thing is that they are unable to "comfort themselves". When they are under stress, they cannot actually deal with issues, they avoid them. Their life is constant, unresolved turmoil.

Being comfortable in quiet times is a sign of being centered and having good life skills.

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But at some point doesn't access to correlating genitals come into play?



By dating, I was talking about details that would make long-term stuff more successful. Short-term attraction is just looks or cash.

Sex isn't everything, but it definitely is something. A lousy sex life makes everybody grumpy. (Satisfied people are A LOT easier to get along with. :)
It's like a nice dinner chair. There has to be more than one leg, so one is not all important. You can take one away, but it's just not as easy to make it work and it may eventually break one of the others.

I think that we could eliminate road rage and a host of other problems if everybody got some on a routine basis. However, I try not to base more than 80% of my decisions on it. ;)

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I have no idea. I will tell you why. Because there is no "one woman" definition. If you spend all your time trying to be what "every woman wants", you will fail.



Dead on.

Be what you want.

Women want what they can't have and what they don't know.

If you are constantly reinventing and bettering yourself ... for yourself, and not for anybody else........
This ad space for sale.

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Dead on.

Be what you want.


Interesting. We regularly have the same conversation, with the same advice given, in the women's forum. We use (a whole lot) more words, though :ph34r:

Wendy W.
There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

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so... are you saying I shouldn't go to a wine tasting class to learn about wines or I should? (I mean I know a little... but I could stand to learn a bit more...) :$



I have no idea. I will tell you why. Because there is no "one woman" definition. If you spend all your time trying to be what "every woman wants", you will fail.
"All women" don't drink wine or really care about it.

Well sure... I do things because I like the idea of doing them... not to please anyone else (it shows when I'm doing something I don't enjoy... :|:P)

I agree... I was merely expounding upon the choice of analogy... as it were... :D
Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

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Dead on.

Be what you want.


Interesting. We regularly have the same conversation, with the same advice given, in the women's forum. We use (a whole lot) more words, though :ph34r:

Wendy W.



The choices are usually presented as (1) a better choice, but more difficult or what the person does not wish to do. (2) the fun/irresponsible choice.

People understand the best choice and hope that someone will talk them out of it. There is nobody smarter than the person who agrees with me.

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I'm an ass.

Noone should date me.



...thanks for the heads-up. ;)



You don't need to date for foreplay.:)
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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You don't need to date for foreplay.:)



Irish Foreplay "ALRIGHT Bridgette, here we go"
:D



Her name's Bridgette?
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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You don't need to date for foreplay.:)



Irish Foreplay "ALRIGHT Bridgette, here we go"
:D



Her name's Bridgette?



Yes. It ees my joke dammit. Bridgette is a good Irish name. :P

In my daily life, I call all women "Jean".
I have found that I have an 80% chance of being correct.
The other 20% are glad that I don't know their real name, so they go along with it.

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You don't need to date for foreplay.:)



Irish Foreplay "ALRIGHT Bridgette, here we go"
:D



Her name's Bridgette?



Yes. It ees my joke dammit. Bridgette is a good Irish name. :P

In my daily life, I call all women "Jean".
I have found that I have an 80% chance of being correct.
The other 20% are glad that I don't know their real name, so they go along with it.



I was talking about your hand.:|
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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