Flying with your monkey

[billvon 3,131]

Now that we've gotten the TSA to at least come up with some general rules regarding traveling with a parachute, other groups have gotten involved and requested their own procedures. They have guidelines for traveling with knitting needles, pressure tanks, precious metals, and large stringed instruments. But there was always a huge issue that they never mentioned - how do you travel with your monkey?

Fear not; the lads at the TSA have recently come up with monkey handling guidelines for screeners:

-----------------------------------------
When a monkey is being transported in a carrier, the monkey must be removed from the carrier by the handler prior to screening,

The monkey must be controlled by the handler throughout the screening process.

The monkey handler should carry the monkey through the WTMD while the monkey remains on a leash.

When the handler and monkey go through the WTMD and the WTMD alarms, both the handler and the monkey must undergo additional screening.

Since monkeys may likely draw attention, the handler will be escorted to the physical inspection area where a table is available for the monkey to sit on. Only the handler will touch or interact with the monkey.

TSOs have been trained to not touch the monkey during the screening process.

TSOs will conduct a visual inspection on the monkey and will coach the handler on how to hold the monkey during the visual inspection.

The inspection process may require that the handler take off the monkey’s diaper as part of the visual inspection.
------------------------------------------

One wonders if they will have to train their officers to distinguish binary explosives from monkey poo . . .

http://www.tsa.gov/travelers/airtravel/assistant/editorial_1056.shtm

[azdav 0]

Quote

take off the monkey’s diaper as part of the visual inspection.



EEEEWWWWW!!!!!

Noooobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!! M.P.F.C.

• Quote

[monkycndo 0]

So that explains the strip search the last time I traveled.

50 donations so far. Give it a try.

You know you want to spank it
Jump an Infinity

[NWFlyer 2]

Quote

So that explains the strip search the last time I traveled.

Did they make you take off your diaper?

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[monkycndo 0]

It's good I had a clean one on.

50 donations so far. Give it a try.

You know you want to spank it
Jump an Infinity

[Thanatos340 1]

Cool!! Does that mean Chuck Blue can now fly commercial again!

Quote

TSOs have been trained to not touch the monkey during the screening process.

Very wise rule. and if they do, They should wash their hands thoroughly afterwards!!

Quote

TSOs will conduct a visual inspection on the monkey and will coach the handler on how to hold the monkey during the visual inspection.

The Handler?? Would that be Katie?? I dont think the TSOs could offer her any "Coaching" on how to handle a Money. I think she already has that one down pat!!

[kallend 2,175]

Why do you think I bought my own plane?

...

The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one.

[normiss 905]

are you saying Katie is a "monkey handler"????

that shit's funny right there...