perfect parents

[happythoughts 0]

I had this conversation the other day with a 25yo.
Essentially, "things weren't working out and it was his parents fault".

Maybe, maybe not. It is certainly possible that the parents did not give the person the best life-skills, emotional toolset, values, or character.

Why didn't it happen? Because they weren't anymore perfect at 30 than anyone else is going to be.
Nobody has it all figured out at 30, 40, or 80.

Bottom line. What to do? If you are 25 and you see the problem, put on your big-girl panties and deal with it. Parents are not supposed to fix all your problems for the duration of your life. They are supposed to give you some basic skills so that you can fix them yourself.

Having somebody to blame is not going to make your life better. Fixing the problem makes life better.

[unformed 0]

Parents aren't perfect. They do the best they can and do what they think is right. If the person realizes that he's not what he wants to be, he needs to change things and become that. It's never too late to reinvent yourself. And personally, I think everybody should reinvent themselves at least a few times throughout their lives, just to keep themselves from becoming stale.

This ad space for sale.

[happythoughts 0]

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Parents aren't perfect. They do the best they can and do what they think is right.

Basically, everybody grows up in "their times" and learns some rules from their parents, who grew up in "their times". As you live, you modify what you learned as a child. You are still functioning with 60% of the original material.

"No matter where you're at, there you are."
Regardless of how you get to some point in your life, it is now your choice where you go from there.

[NWFlyer 2]

My mother made a comment a couple years ago saying "You probably blame me for that." I said "Mom, at my age if I'm still blaming you for who I am, that says more about me than it does about you."

There are maybe a very very small number of cases of extreme emotional and/or physical abuse where parents truly can scar a child for life. But in the vast majority of cases, yeah, parents have their own dysfunctions, many of which they impart onto their children in one way or another. But seriously, grow the fuck up and become your own person... play the hand that you were dealt and stop blaming your parents because you wanted different cards.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[sunshine 2]

I know a girl that had a horrible childhood. She made something awesome of her life, forgave her parents and moved on. It's called growing up.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[iamsam 0]

Always makes me think of this, This Be The Verse by Philip Larkin

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.
They may not mean to, but they do.
They fill you with the faults they had
And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn
By fools in old-style hats and coats,
Who half the time were soppy-stern
And half at one another's throats.

Man hands on misery to man.
It deepens like a coastal shelf.
Get out as early as you can,
And don't have any kids yourself.

but what do I know

[happythoughts 0]

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play the hand that you were dealt and stop blaming your parents because you wanted different cards.

I'm going an alternative route. I'm trying to get Angelina Jolie to adopt me.

I want to be the messed-up child of wealthy parents. Being the messed-up child of poor parents is not nearly as fun.

Then, I can let my therapist sort it out.
"So, you had sex with your adoptive parent, but she's Angelina? What exactly is the problem?"

[Bolas 5]

Not to mention the breast feedings...

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[Lindercles 0]

I think you misunderstood me. I was talking about my mom's cocaine habit and how it fu fu fu fu fu fu fucked up my speak patterms.