Couple of smilies for you....

[shropshire 0]

I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "well, I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."


I went in to a pet shop. I said, "Can I buy a goldfish?" The guy said, "Do you want an aquarium?" I said, "I don't care what star sign it is."


I told my girlfriend I had a job in a bowling alley. She said "Tenpin?" I said, "No, it's a permanent job."


I met the bloke who invented crosswords today. I can't remember his name, I think it's P something T something R.

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome