So an elephant walks into a bar . . .

[kelel01 1]

I took the picture, you guys finish the joke.

[azdav 0]

Pretzels!Pfffftttt! I said Peanuts!!!!

Noooobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!! M.P.F.C.

[NWFlyer 2]

Guy walks up to her, looks her up and down and says "Mmmmm hmmm baby, you look like you got some junk in yo trunk."

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[sunshine 2]

Where's that turtle?

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[Lindercles 0]

...and goes up to the piano and starts crying. The pianist says "is my playing really that bad?" And the elephant says, "no, I just recognize some of those keys."

[NWFlyer 2]

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...and goes up to the piano and starts crying. The pianist says "is my playing really that bad?" And the elephant says, "no, I just recognize some of those keys."

*golfclap*

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[PLFXpert 0]

I still like you.

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[Bolas 5]

and the bartender says, "What are you doing with that ugly thing in my bar?"

The guy tries to speak...

"Shut up!! Ya pencil neck loser, I was talking to the elephant."

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[normiss 892]

That que ball looks a lot like mom!

[white_falcon 0]

i don't see the elephant?

[happythoughts 0]

"OMG, It's the famous female singing elephant, Elephants Gerald".



(think about it...)

[Shell666 0]

Quote

"OMG, It's the famous female singing elephant, Elephants Gerald".



(think about it...)

'Shell

[NWFlyer 2]

Quote

"OMG, It's the famous female singing elephant, Elephants Gerald".



(think about it...)

Another *golfclap*.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[Lindercles 0]

[Icon134 0]

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"OMG, It's the famous female singing elephant, Elephants Gerald".



(think about it...)

Nice...

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[pds 0]

Quote

"OMG, It's the famous female singing elephant, Elephants Gerald".



(think about it...)

you just made me think about that until i got it. you suck. my hampsters are now on strike. what am i going to use now?

namaste, motherfucker.

[2fat2fly 0]

I don't know if I should be impressed or depressed at the humor level of this group

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[lawrocket 3]

So, an elephant walks into a bar. The whole place collapsed.

---

So, an elephant is walking along and steps in an elephant trap. "Ow! Dammit! What the?" He exclaimed to himself. Try as he might, he could not get out of the trap.

Along comes a monkey, who says, "Hey, elephant. The hunters are gonna be here in a couple of minutes. I can get you outta that trap." The elephant says, "Man, that'd be great. Hurrry!" The monkey says, "Not so quick, pal. I should get something. I'll let you out if you let me do you up the butt."

The elephant swings his trunk and hits the monkey and yells, "Get outta here!" The monkey scurries away.

Along come the hunters with a huge stewpot and spears. They build a huge bonfire and put the pot on it, heating up the water. "Dammit. Maybe I shoulda just let that monkey go for it" he thought to himself. "Hey, monkey" and the monkey tried getting to him, but the hunters scared the monkey off. "Sorry, dude. The hunters won't let me near."

As the hunters were cutting vegetables and heating the pot, along comes a little field mouse. "Hey, elephant. No, don't be scared. I'll let you outta this trap if you let me give you anal." And the elephant thought, "Dang. This is just a little field mouse. Man, taht's no problem." The elephant says, "DEAL!"

The mouse unlocked the trap, and it was awesome to behold. The elephant smacked every hunter around and managed to squash four of them. As he was done, proud of himself, the mouse said, "Hey, elephant. We've got a deal."

The elephant signed, but was a man of his word. As the vultures started eating the squished humans, the elephant lifted his tail and the mouse crawled up and got started.

The monkey saw this, and got infuriated! "Fuck you, field mouse! That's MY elephant ass!" The monkey picked up a coconut and threw it as hard he he could. His aim was off, and he hit the elephant in the eye!

The elephant screamed in agony. Hearing it, the mouse yelled, "THAT'S IT, ELEPHANT! TAKE IT, BITCH! TAKE IT!"

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[chuckakers 426]

Quote

I took the picture, you guys finish the joke.

An elephant walks into a bar. Bartender says "why the long face?"

[happythoughts 0]

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you just made me think about that until i got it. you suck. my hampsters are now on strike. what am i going to use now?

I do 90% of my thinking with my penis.

[skymama 37]

So an elephant walks into a bar and says...roll tide!

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[lawrocket 3]

So an elephant walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What can I get you?" The elephant says, "A triple Everclear." The bartender says, "That's pretty strong stuff." The elephant replies, "Yeah. I'm trying to forget."

---

An elephant walks into a bar and starts to sit on the stool, but hops right up. The bartender says, "What can I get for you?" The elephant says, "Give me a pitcher of your best beer - and some Vaseline."

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Lindercles 0]

Holy fucking hell that's funny.

Um, well it *was* funny.

[livendive 8]

and says to the bartender, "I'm sorry, the pink just done washed off. Please masta', don' hurt me!"

Meh...short notice.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[lawrocket 3]

An elephant and a rhinocerous go into a dive British pub. The elephant announces that they have are expecting their first child and orders a bottle of champagne and a bottle of sparkling cider (for her). The elephant says, "We need to think of a name for this baby. What do you think we should name it."

The Cockney bartender replies, "''Ell if I know!"

My wife is hotter than your wife.