My wife is apparently mortified

[lawrocket 3]

My son's new favorite things to look out for are flags. I'd never noticed the number of flags people have hanging on their houses - mostly seasonal type things to add a festive spirit. My son over the last few days has pointed them all out. Min dyou, he's almost two and a half years old, so his pronunciation is not that great.

Well, the couple across the street have an American flag hanging on the outside of their house. My wife feels totally gypped by the fact that this is the single most butch gay couple you could ever hope to see. They drive crummy cars, their lawn looks like hell - it's probably the most decrepit house on the street. My wife is thoroughly upset by having gay guys to right across the street but being unable to hang out with them - these guys just mind their own business. I swear, every time she watches the Barefoot Contessa, she comments abotu how much it sucks that Ina has all of these gay guys around her all the time, when she has none.

She just called me - She related to me that she had just stepped outside with Conor and Lauren to get the mail, and one of the gay gentlemen was just getting out of his car. Conor chose that moment to point in his direction and yell out "Flag!!!"
Remember what I said about his pronunciation? Yeah, he doesn't really pronounce the letter "L" very well. He tried to say "FLAG!" but said something different, and Erin didn't know what he was trying to say.

This, of course, came on the heels of us having watched the season premiere of South Park last night - she is understandably on edge. Erin was mortified and wanted to know why I taught Conor a word like that. Till I pointed out that he always points to their flag first thing when he steps outside.

Kids - aren't they wonderful?

p.s. - I'd invite Keith to move up, but Erin would be embittered by the amount of time I spent hanging with Keith and talking to him. She'd want Keith all to herself, which I have figured out is a problem with anyone who knows him...

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[tigra 0]

Maybe the butch anti social gay neighbors will be so offended by the homophobes across the street that they'll move and sell their home to a much more flaming (and more social) gay couple. This could all work out to your wife's advantage! They'll think they are getting revenge, and your wife will have some new gay friends to hang out with!

[ExAFO 0]

Does he listen to Ann Coulter?

Illinois needs a CCW Law. NOW.

[JohnnyD 0]

Too Funny!
I had the same problem with my wife and Keith.
I am trying to talk about the bad ass head down night jump we just did and drink a beer with my friend and my damn wife keeps butting in talking about other stuff.
Poor Keith - wanted by so many, had by ???

[BillyVance 35]

fag... your kid said fag!

Hey, you guys are by no means the only ones! A friend of mine told me about the time she was in the grocery store with her first child, who was 1 1/2 at the time. They were going down one aisle, and her daughter pointed down the aisle and said "moo moo!" She looked up, and a horrible feeling of embarrassment came over her. Coming from the other way was this really fat woman. Apparently she heard the little tyke. She had a look of disdain on her face, but they passed each other without a word. Then... the tyke pointed down the aisle and said "moo moo!" again... puzzled, her mom looked again... There, on the far wall, was a picture of a cow... over the milk section!

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ACMESkydiver 0]

I've always had plenty of gay male friends to hang out with.

Actually, one of my guy friends moved down to Portland, and the last time I saw him was right after he had brain surgery. He never calls me back now, either. The other moved with his husband to Palm Springs and opened a beauty shop...I haven't heard from him, either...

I have another friend that moved north, another that disappeared...

Oh geez. Now I'm depressed... Come to think of it, I'm fresh out of gay guys, too! Dang it they are just the perfect friends for married women.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[Bolas 5]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ql7meT4v2J0

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[Broke 0]

Kids are great. I was at the beach with my son he was 4 at the time and he just walks up to this woman and then tells her, "My dad has hairy nipples."

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[NWFlyer 2]

I'm so lucky. I have the Fabulous Gay Neighbors (TM), who do all my landscaping for me ... gratis. And who tell amusing stories. And are fabulously friendly and keep an eye on my place when I travel And have little cocktail parties from time to time (heh-heh, she said cocktail).

They're not so much with the fabulousness when it comes to clothing, but their home is quite lovely, as is all the landscaping they've done for their own unit, for my unit, and the common areas, so it more than makes up for their lack of sartorial splendor.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[cloudseeker2001 0]

That is odd how they do not keep a nice clean house and yard.....I am surrounded by three gay couples and the common area is always kept nice with fresh flowers year around! And they too have parties all the time, and one of them is always baking cakes and pies......And I have seen, from across the drive, the wilder parties!

"Some call it heavenly in it's brilliance,
others mean and rueful of the western dream"