You missed the fucking putt!?!?!

[BillyVance 35]

A nun walks into Mother Superior's office and plunks down into a chair. She lets out a sigh heavy with frustration.

"What troubles you, Sister?" asks the Mother Superior. "I thought this was the day you spent with your family."

"It was," sighed the Sister. "And I went to play golf with my brother. We try to play golf as often as we can. You know I was quite a talented golfer before I devoted my life to Christ."

"I seem to recall that," the Mother Superior agreed. "So I take it your day of recreation was not relaxing?"

"Far from it," snorted the Sister. "In fact, I even took the Lord's name in vain today!"

"Goodness, Sister!" gasped the Mother Superior, astonished. "You must tell me all about it!"

"Well, we were on the fifth tee...and this hole is a monster, Mother - 540 yard Par 5, with a nasty dogleg left and a hidden green...and I hit the drive of my life. I creamed it. The sweetest swing I ever made. And it's flying straight and true, right along the line I wanted...and it hits a bird in mid-flight not
100 yards off the tee!"

"Oh my!" commiserated the Mother. "How unfortunate! But surely that didn't make you blaspheme, Sister!"

"No, that wasn't it," admitted Sister. "While I was still trying to fathom what had happened, this squirrel runs out of the woods, grabs my ball and runs off down the fairway!"

"Oh, that would have made me blaspheme!" sympathized Mother.

"But I didn't, Mother Superior!" sobbed the Sister. "And I was so proud of myself! And while I was pondering whether this was a sign from God, this hawk swoops out of the sky and grabs the squirrel and flies off, with my ball still clutched in his paws!"

"So that's when you cursed," said the Mother with a knowing smile.

"Nope, that wasn't it either," cried the Sister, anguished, "because as the hawk started to fly out of sight, the squirrel started struggling, and the hawk dropped him right there on the green, and the ball popped out of his paws and rolled to about 18 inches from the cup!"

Mother Superior sat back in her chair, folded her arms across her chest, fixed the Sister with a baleful stare and said...

"You missed the fucking putt, didn't you?"

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ACMESkydiver 0]

I've heard one very similar, but it was a priest...the circumstances were very similar though.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[Scoop 0]

Lol, very funny but you kinda ruin the punchline with your thread title

[livendive 8]

Funny, but would have been a lot better if you hadn't used the punchline as the thread title.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[Squeak 17]

Quote

Funny, but would have been a lot better if you hadn't used the punchline as the thread title.

Blues,
Dave

ooo there's an echo in here

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[masterrig 1]

A young priest woke one Sunday morning, to a beautiful sunny day. His first thoughts were of being on the golf cours and not saying mass. The young priest made-up his mind and called-in sick. The Bishop told him he would have Father O'Brian fill-in for him and to get well soon.
The young priest loaded his clubs in his car and headed for the links. When he arrived at the golf course... noone was there playing golf. He thought; 'This is great!'
At the first tee, he belted one straight down the fairway and watched the ball take a couple bounces and in the cup! A hole in one! The young priest was beside himself. On to the second... a hole in one! Again on the third and so-on. At the 17th. with a streak of holes in one he thought to himself how un-believable this was, when he heard a voice from above... 'WHO, ARE YOU GOING TO TELL?'


Chuck