Cops CAN be funny.

[turtlespeed 226]

Justr got this in an e-mail.

The following 15 Police Comments were taken off
of actual police car videos around the country.
=========================================

#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because they're new. They'll stretch out after you wear them awhile."

#14 "Take your hands off the car, and I'll make your birth certificate a worthless document."

#13 "If you run you'll only go to jail tired."

#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per second? In case you didn't know, that is the average speed of a 9mm bullet fired from my gun."

#11 "So you don't know how fast you were going. I guess that means I can write anything I want on the ticket, huh?"

#10 "Yes, Sir, you can talk to the shift supervisor; but I don't think it will help. Oh, did I mention that I am the shift supervisor?"

#9 "Warning? You want a warning? O.K., I'm warning you not to do that again or I'll give you another ticket."

#8 "The answer to this last question will determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey Mouse a cat or a dog?"

#7 "Fair? You want me to be fair? Listen, fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat cotton candy, and step in monkey DOO."

#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets and my wife gets a toaster oven."

#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through NCIC."

#4 "Just how big were those two beers?"

#3 "No sir we don't have quotas anymore. We used to have quotas but now we're allowed to write as many tickets as we want."

#2 "I'm glad to hear the Chief of Police is a good personal friend of yours. At least you know someone who can post your bail."

And......... THE VERY BEST ONE !!!!!!!

#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."

Have a nice day.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[sharimcm 0]

Cops can also text you with "requests" that are considered illegal... At least, mine did last night.

I guess if I really wanted to, I could get him in to a shit load of trouble, but I'm too nice. I did however "lock" the text in case one day he pisses me off. Pay backs are a bitch, aren't they?

"I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

[ryoder 1,590]

Quote

Cops can also text you with "requests" that are considered illegal... At least, mine did last night.

You have your own personal cop??? Just how much trouble do you cause???

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[dorbie 0]

Quote

Cops can also text you with "requests" that are considered illegal... At least, mine did last night.

I guess if I really wanted to, I could get him in to a shit load of trouble, but I'm too nice. I did however "lock" the text in case one day he pisses me off. Pay backs are a bitch, aren't they?

No, it's not the payback that's being the bitch.

[sharimcm 0]

Quote

Quote

Cops can also text you with "requests" that are considered illegal... At least, mine did last night.

You have your own personal cop??? Just how much trouble do you cause???

Abso-fucking-lutely I have my own cop. I can cause quite a bit of trouble, but usually it's just with him. After that message last night though... I'm beginning to wonder who causes most of it between the two of us. I was quite "taken back" by it.
Is there such thing as a good cop and a bad cop? After seven months, that was the first time I have ever wondered about him.

"I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

[ryoder 1,590]

Funny story from my misspent youth:

One evening I found myself with a couple of people I knew, (and a bunch of strangers), partying at a strange apartment rented by several girls. There was lot of beer and pot, and probably half the drinkers were underage. In the middle of this a cop in full uniform suddenly appeared.

The half of us who didn't know the background story, froze in fear trying to decide whether to try to make a run for it. One of the girls who lived there stood up, took his hand, and the two of them disappeared into a back room. As the rest of us sat there with mouths agape, her roommate smiled at us sweetly and commented:

"Cops need lovin' too!"

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

[Misternatural 0]

Here's one a teen used to get out of a speeding ticket;

Cop: Kid - I've been waiting here for you all day.

Kid; Yeah well I got here as fast as I could!

Cop: Heh, Thats they best one so far , go on... get the fuck out of here.

Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires.
D S #3.1415

[sharimcm 0]

I "use" my cop only when needed. All it takes is one text message with the right wording, and a few minutes later, he's here (or I'm there). It's kind of nice having him live less than a mile away. Cops do need lovin' from time to time.

"I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself