Work mate problem

[bigway 4]

So what do i do?
There is a 22 year old Dutch backpacker working at my job. He was ther before i was. I get on with the owner great, we have become pretty good mates and i also spend alot of time with the other workers there. I am a chef there and i also wash dishes on the days i am not rostered to cook for wextra cash. This dutch guy treats me like shit, some sort of seniority thing that he has going on his head, he really just mocks me and talks down to me and is the rudest bastard i have ever met. The boss has told him to shut up as nobody at this job tells the others what to do including the boss, Now this dutch fuck looks around to make sure nobody can hear him and then he takes stabs at being a cock to me again. For the leas month all i have thought about, i mean i must have spent at least 40 hours over the last three weeks trying to resist the temptaion to knock him on his ass. I am not a fighter and i dont believe it solves problems but it is either me going to quit this job in the morning and let the boss know why or knock this fucker out in front of everyone at work so when he comes to he will feel enough embarasment that maybe he will keep his trap shut.
I am not kidding you here, I want to kick this guys head in just so i can stop thinking about kicking this guys head in. I just want him to shut up and let me enjoy my job.
I dont want to quit cause the job is 30 meters from my house, it pays an amazing wage and i get the most flexible hours there is. It is also the best cafe in Bondi Beach and never have i been in a kitchen where we cook everything to order from scratch. This place is top quality, everything about it but this piece of shit that continues to mock me, continues to talk down to me and shows no respect, even sits there and makes fun of my girlfriend to me. He is a guy who is a student in this country and this is his first experience with cooking while i have spent 10 years a qualified chef.

I could really use some advice here as i only see my two options as Knock this guy on his ass or go to work in the morning and tell my boss that i have to quit because of this.

Whenever i try to talk to my boss about this when we are out he quickly changes the subject though he does know what is going on and he does not like it himself. I, have noty thrown a punch in about 13 years though with the anger this guy has filled me with i know that if hit him he is going to go down hard.... Then i worry about hurting him too much or consequences for doing this, if it be with the law, or hurting him too badly.

.Karnage Krew Gear Store
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[Gene03 0]

Gary,
There is a third option.
Maintain your cool.
Let him be the fool he is.
Keep your job and let him prove to everybody what an arse he is.
Just smile and think to yourself that he is so gone.
Sounds like he wants you to loose it?
Don't give him the pleasure.

“The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec quotes (Polish writer, poet and satirist 1906-1966)

[doug925 0]

Tell him to f off, then ignore him.

Then, if he really pisses you off, get ski mask, and axe handle, and follow him home one night.... er, never mind

I have never developed indigestion from eating my words.
Winston Churchill

[Richards 0]

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but it is either me going to quit this job in the morning and let the boss know why or knock this fucker out in front of everyone at work so when he comes to he will feel enough embarasment that maybe he will keep his trap shut.

Knocking him out will not shut him up. Dickheads like that allways turn around and sue over the fights they start. Not to mention a criminal record which will be a hindrance to employability.

Unfortunately in the profession you are in there are not a lot of resources to deal with this sort of crap. Try telling your boss you are thinking of quitting. Come to think of it can you not just ignore him? Maybe he stays on you because he can see he is getting to you. There is nothing stopping you from verbally abusing him back. If all of this changes nothing then ask yourself if this job is worth your health.

My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within.

[Gene03 0]

Control your anger, Don't let it control you.

“The only fool bigger than the person who knows it all is the person who argues with him.

Stanislaw Jerzy Lec quotes (Polish writer, poet and satirist 1906-1966)

[IanHarrop 43]

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Gary,
There is a third opition.
Maintain your cool.
Let him be the fool he is.
Keep your job and let him prove to everybody what an arse he is.
Just smile and think to yourself that he is so gone.
Sounds like he wants you to loose it?
Don't give him the pleasure.

I agree with this answer. The solution to your problem is developing an attitude where you really don't care what this guys says. The fool it taunting you because he gets pleasure from it. Be joyous in his pleasure. When he says something respond in a fun and funny way, laugh, agree, do a pirouette. Turn it into a game to see how silly a response you can give him. You can start rating his insults and tell him the score. Congratulate him and tell him when he scores a 10, encourage him when when its a 5 and tell him that you're disappointed when its only a 2.

Your blood pressure will go down and you'll be happier.

You can't change others - You can only change yourself.

"Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" Dorothy

[sunshine 2]

Sorry you're in such an icky situation. Keep your job. Try and ignore the dickhead. You're an awesome guy, don't let him get to you too much.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[bigway 4]

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Gary,
There is a third opition.
Maintain your cool.
Let him be the fool he is.
Keep your job and let him prove to everybody what an arse he is.
Just smile and think to yourself that he is so gone.
Sounds like he wants you to loose it?
Don't give him the pleasure.

I agree with this answer. The solution to your problem is developing an attitude where you really don't care what this guys says. The fool it taunting you because he gets pleasure from it. Be joyous in his pleasure. When he says something respond in a fun and funny way, laugh, agree, do a pirouette. Turn it into a game to see how silly a response you can give him. You can start rating his insults and tell him the score. Congratulate him and tell him when he scores a 10, encourage him when when its a 5 and tell him that you're disappointed when its only a 2.

Your blood pressure will go down and you'll be happier.

You can't change others - You can only change yourself.

You see i have done all this. Everybody knows it is him and they all have told him to shut up but there are the days when it is me and him cooking 2300 meals a morning and the shit i take from him while still keeping my cool is too much. He does not know he is getting to me like he is yet. Nobody will get fired over this and it kind of sucks cause itreally makes me want to leave but my partners job finishes this week.

I am going to talk to the boss in the morning and tell him that it needs to be sorted out. there and then or i am off. My boss needs me there at the moment and my boss and i hang out a fair bit. I think tomorrow i will tell my boss how badly i want to knock this guy out and see where it goes from there. The thing is my boss is so laid back and has never asked me to do anything, just lets me get on with the job so i would not be suprised if he said go for it, do your worst.


Anyway, thanks for all the replies, seems you all say what i already think the best way of handling this is. I was taking them all out for a tandem in the next couple of weeks so i think i will start by not inviting this guy.

anyway off to bed, thanks for the posts.

.Karnage Krew Gear Store
.

[Guest 1010]

in the past few years keeping my cool has always been the right thing to do, and kept doors open that would have otherwise been quite closed. You've let this guy know how to push your buttons, you're best redress at this time would be to just decide that that won't be the case any more and follow through with the new mindset. Giving the owner an ultimatum .. pretty high risk option, but worth doing if you are going to leave anyway ... but be prepared for it to go against you. If he's laid back like you say, things probably won't change much because he's not into confrontation.

You can have it good, fast, or cheap: pick two.

[virgin-burner 1]

i hate dutch wankers, my tip, get your biggest pot and make roastbeef with his head..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[godfrog 2]

keep a pot of boiling water with a scim of oil on it, ignore him so that he will start following you to harrass you. go over to the stove keeping him in your perifery and when he gets close grab the pot and turn around quickly so that the pot hits him and spills the contents on him, apologize and run and get some butter for his burns. has to look like he was pestering you while you were busy. only you and him will know the truth and he can't prove it...

Experience is a difficult teacher, she gives you the test first and the lesson afterward

[BIGUN 1,488]

Actually, the thing to do is to list specific examples of his behavior. Ask for a meeting with your boss and him together. While your boss is present, go thru the list of specifics and explain to him that you're not going to allow him to continue to interfere with your professionalism any longer. Explain to him and your boss that each time it occurs you will ask for a meeting.

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[Squeak 17]

Is that the little CAFE resurant at the North end of Campbell parade, down near Ramsgate ave?

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[bigway 4]

Nah, it is at the north shops. Called three eggs on Brighton BLVD.


Anyway, went down to the boss told him how it is, and asked me to give him a day so he can talk to him (again).
He is sick of it too and asked me not to leave. I said well, if he does not quit it i will not be able to carry on here. He said to me that I would be carrying on there before he would.

So all in all good news. Now i am secretly hoping this guy has a problem with me going to the boss about him.

I told my boss that i want to deck this guy more than i want to do anything at the moment and that is how serious it is. He understood.

.Karnage Krew Gear Store
.

[Stumpy 284]

Laugh at him.

Seriously, every time he starts being a di*k just laugh at him and carry on. The more you laugh the funnier it will become and the more pissed off he will get (which again, is funny)

Never try to eat more than you can lift

[lilDevil 2]

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Gary,
There is a third opition.
Maintain your cool.
Let him be the fool he is.
Keep your job and let him prove to everybody what an arse he is.
Just smile and think to yourself that he is so gone.
Sounds like he wants you to loose it?
Don't give him the pleasure.

There are a few people like that at the place I work and it sucks big time. Dont let him win give him a big smile and just keep thinking " your an arse " hope it works for you !

I agree with this answer. The solution to your problem is developing an attitude where you really don't care what this guys says. The fool it taunting you because he gets pleasure from it. Be joyous in his pleasure. When he says something respond in a fun and funny way, laugh, agree, do a pirouette. Turn it into a game to see how silly a response you can give him. You can start rating his insults and tell him the score. Congratulate him and tell him when he scores a 10, encourage him when when its a 5 and tell him that you're disappointed when its only a 2.

Your blood pressure will go down and you'll be happier.

You can't change others - You can only change yourself.

```````````````````````````````````
" Cant keep a good woman down "
Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

[Squeak 17]

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You can't change others - You can only change yourself.

Words of wisdom Christine

Now see if you can change your self BACK INTO A SKYDIVER

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

• Quote

[billvon 3,120]

>I am going to talk to the boss in the morning and tell him that it needs
>to be sorted out. there and then or i am off.

Not a bad solution, although I'd be sure that you were OK with quitting before you try that.

> I was taking them all out for a tandem in the next couple of weeks so
>i think i will start by not inviting this guy.

Oh, I would take him! If he likes it, great, he has one less reason to bitch. If he hates it, that's even better.

[piratemike 0]

I know it's been said already, but a lot of the time if you completely ignore the jabs from this guy it will cause him to loose intrest and leave you alone.

You could try carrying a recording device to make a record of what the guy is upto, then take it to management.

I would probably be a bit more childish in the same situation.
It would be cool to go out and learn a move that would knock him out in one hit. I wonder how hard it would be.

[ltdiver 3]

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You could try carrying a recording device to make a record of what the guy is upto, then take it to management.

Or even better yet, play it back to -him-. Let him hear himself be a jackass. People generally don't like hearing themselves when they're recorded...and if he's being an ass he'll hear how stupid he really sounds.

ltdiver

Don't tell me the sky's the limit when there are footprints on the moon

[mr2mk1g 10]

Let it be known he came on to you in the store room... and was touching himself... that sorta thing.

[Thanatos340 1]

Next time he makes some Rude comment, Just walk over and plant a Big wet slopppy kiss on him and tell him how much his comments turn you on.

[McDuck 0]

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Next time he makes some Rude comment, Just walk over and plant a Big wet slopppy kiss on him and tell him how much his comments turn you on.

As with ultimatums to the boss, you'd better be ready for unexpected turns.

Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28
"I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC
Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school.

[bigway 4]

Me and the boss go gambling every night after work at the casino. We are tight. Just we dont talk shop while sitting at the poker table. I told him today that i have never wanted to put a frying pan around anyones head before as want to this guy. He asked for a day to talk to him and that he cant afford me to leave at the moment. I have told him i will stay but i got to be out by lunchtime weekends. (my rig just arrived in this country)


This guy was at the bar down the road giving my girlfriend shit tonight so tommorrow at work will be a pretty exciting day. This guy has just taken things too far now.


As much as i want to pay him back in some way i can not think of anything good. Maybe AndyC can come and molester him for me.

.Karnage Krew Gear Store
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[DougH 270]

Bring him out back and bust him up. That will teach him to be an asshole.

"The restraining order says you're only allowed to touch me in freefall"
=P