Messing with the IRS

[NWFlyer 2]

Since I bet a few people are still working on their taxes (or haven't even started), here's a few tips for dealing with the IRS... (no idea how much of this is true, but I thought it was funny anyway).



--Always put staples in the right hand corner. Go ahead and put them down the whole right side. The extractors who remove the mail from the envelopes have to take out any staples in the right side.

--Never arrange paperwork in the right order, or even facing the right way. Put a few upside down and backwards. That way they have to remove all your staples rearrange your paperwork and re-staple it (on the left side).

--Line the bottom of your envelope with Elmer's glue and let it dry before you put in your forms, so that the automated opener doesn't open it and the extractor has to open it by hand.

--If your very unfortunate and have to pay taxes use a two or three party check.

--On top of paying with a three party check pay one of the dollars you owe in cash. When an extractor receives cash, no matter how small an amount, he has to take it to a special desk and fill out of few nasty forms.

--Write a little letter of appreciation. Any letter received has to read and stamped regardless of what it is or what it's on.

--Write your letter on something misshapen and unconventional. Like on the back of a Kroger sack.

--When you mail it, mail it in a big envelope (even if its just a single EZi form). Big envelopes have to be torn and sorted differently than regular business size ones. An added bonus to the big envelope is that they take priority over other mail, so the workers can hurry up and deal with your mess.

--If you send 2 checks they'll have to staple your unsightly envelope to your half destroyed form.

--Always put extra paper clips on your forms. Any foreign fasteners or the like have to be removed and put away.

--Sign your name in ink on every page. Any signature has to verified and then date stamped.

NOTE: These are just a few of the fun and exciting things you can do with The Man. These methods are only recommended when you owe money

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[Scoop 0]

Just hope you dont get the IRS person who can't be fucked and files it in the bin

[NWFlyer 2]

Well these days it seems like more and more people file electronically (I can't recall the last time I actually used paper forms ...) so it's kind of moot.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[Scoop 0]

I hate paperwork. Luckily I have a jumbo sized cross shredder in my office. All unreasonable enquiries get 'filed' in there before anyone else gets to see them

[BIGUN 1,438]

You must not know about "the other pile."

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[azdav 0]

Sounds like fun but I think I'll stick to petting rattle snakes.....it's less dangerous.

Noooobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!!! M.P.F.C.

[Sutton 0]

I've worked at H&R Block as an office manager for 5 years now. I would recommend that you do none of these :-p

-Sutton

[philly51 0]

Not afraid of much in the world, but I kind of respect an agency that can empty your bank account, garnish your wages, tow your car and sell your house without needing a court order.
If I felt the need to play with their heads, I would be damn sure they owed ME money before attempting your suggestions.

Life's journey is not to arrive at the grave safely in a well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, totally worn out, Shouting "...holy shit...what a ride!"

[ACMESkydiver 0]

  Quote

Sounds like fun but I think I'll stick to petting rattle snakes.....it's less dangerous.

No shit, huh?! I've seen the IRS in action. It ain't pretty.

I think I might cry or hang myself if I ever received an envelope stamped 'AUDIT'. It gives me a headache just thinking about it.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[skydiver30960 0]

I have lived to the ripe old age of 32, and done so relatively safely by remembering NEVER to fuck with two entities:

1.) Don't fuck with God;

and

2.) Don't fuck with the IRS.

Elvisio "the rest is gravy" Rodriguez

[kbordson 8]

  Quote

I have lived to the ripe old age of 32, and done so relatively safely by remembering NEVER to fuck with two entities:

1.) Don't fuck with God;

and

2.) Don't fuck with the IRS.

Elvisio "the rest is gravy" Rodriguez

You forgot - don't tug on Supermans cape.

[nanook 1]

Don't worry about the "Audit" thingie, usually, you are going to get a refund. (at least in my experience)

_____________________________

"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

[Jayruss 0]

I worked for a government body in college processing property tax payments . . . I happen to know items that arrived in these conditions seemed to disappear causing penalties to the payer.

__________________________________________________
"Beware how you take away hope from another human being."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes

[Fast 0]

  Quote

I have lived to the ripe old age of 32, and done so relatively safely by remembering NEVER to fuck with two entities:

1.) Don't fuck with God;

and

2.) Don't fuck with the IRS.

Elvisio "the rest is gravy" Rodriguez

Death and Taxes

~D
Where troubles melt like lemon drops Away above the chimney tops That's where you'll find me.
Swooping is taking one last poke at the bear before escaping it's cave - davelepka

[SpeedRacer 1]

  Quote

  Quote

I have lived to the ripe old age of 32, and done so relatively safely by remembering NEVER to fuck with two entities:

1.) Don't fuck with God;

and

2.) Don't fuck with the IRS.

Elvisio "the rest is gravy" Rodriguez

You forgot - don't tug on Supermans cape.

and don't spit into the wind......

Speed Racer
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[GravityJunky 0]

The more You post, the cooler you become!

*My Inner Child is A Fucking Prick Too!
*Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge
*Well I'd love to stay & chat, But youre a total Bitch! {Stewie}