son of a Bitch

[lilDevil 2]

The parish priest went on a fishing trip. On the
last day of his trip he hooked a monster fish and
proceeded to reel it in.
The guide, holding a net, yelled, "Look at the
size of that Son of a
Bitch!"
"Son, I'm a priest. Your language is uncalled
for!"
"No, Father, that's what kind of fish it is - a
Son of a Bitch fish!"
"Really? Well then, help me land this Son of a
Bitch!"
Once in the boat, they marveled at the size of the
monster.
"Father, that's the biggest Son of a Bitch I've
ever seen."
"Yes, it is a big Son of a Bitch. What should I do
with it?"
"Why, eat it of course. You've never tasted
anything as good as Son of a Bitch!"
Elated, the priest headed home to the rectory.
While unloading his gear and his prize catch, Sister
Mary inquired about his trip.
"Take a look at this big Son of a Bitch I caught!"
Sister Mary gasped and clutched her rosary,
"Father!"
"It's OK, Sister. That's what kind of fish it is -
a Son of a Bitch
fish!"
"Oh, well then, what are you going to do with that
big Son of a Bitch?"
Sister Mary informed the priest that the new
Bishop was scheduled to visit in a few days and that
they should fix the Son of a Bitch for his dinner.
"I'll even clean the Son of a Bitch", she said.
As she was cleaning the huge fish, the Friar
walked in.
"What are you doing Sister?"
"Father wants me to clean this big Son of a Bitch
for the new Bishop's dinner."
"Sister! I'll clean it if you're so upset! Please
watch your language!"
"No, no, no, it's called a Son of a Bitch fish."
"Really? Well, in that case, I'll fix up a great
meal to go with it, and that Son of a Bitch can be
the main course! Let me know when you've finished
cleaning that Son of a Bitch."
On the night of the new Bishop's visit, everything
was perfect. The
Friar had prepared an excellent meal. The wine was
fine, and the fish was excellent.
The new Bishop said, "This is great fish, where
did you get it?"
"I caught that Son of a Bitch!" proclaimed the
proud priest.
"And I cleaned the Son of a Bitch!" exclaimed the
Sister.
The Friar added, "And I prepared the Son of a
Bitch, using a special recipe!"
The new Bishop looked around at each of them. A
big smile crept across his face as he said, "You
fuckers are my kind of people!"

```````````````````````````````````
" Cant keep a good woman down "
Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

[floridadiver81 0]

Someone is bored and postwhoring

"Age has absolutely nothing to do with knowledge, learning, respect, attitude, or personality." -yardhippie
"Fight the air, and the air will kick your ass!!! "-Specialkaye

[lilDevil 2]

Quote

Someone is bored and postwhoring

You got it ! I need entertaining lmao

```````````````````````````````````
" Cant keep a good woman down "
Angels have wings, but devils can fly !

[floridadiver81 0]

dont i know it! Im at work and have all my stuff done...so dz.com has been entertaining....well...a lil..lol

"Age has absolutely nothing to do with knowledge, learning, respect, attitude, or personality." -yardhippie
"Fight the air, and the air will kick your ass!!! "-Specialkaye

[Broke 0]

A good spanking will cure that boredom

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[floridadiver81 0]

Is that an offer?

"Age has absolutely nothing to do with knowledge, learning, respect, attitude, or personality." -yardhippie
"Fight the air, and the air will kick your ass!!! "-Specialkaye

[sunshine 2]

Quote

Is that an offer?

Wow, now you're flirting with guys.


Broke ~ hope all is well with you. I miss our txt messaging fun.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[floridadiver81 0]

Quote

Quote

Is that an offer?

Wow, now you're flirting with guys.

Wasnt aware it was a he. Helps to have a name in the profile.

"Age has absolutely nothing to do with knowledge, learning, respect, attitude, or personality." -yardhippie
"Fight the air, and the air will kick your ass!!! "-Specialkaye

[BillyVance 35]

I always get a good laugh at that joke every time I read it. It's old as Hell but still funny!

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[2fat2fly 0]

Quote

It's old as Hell but still funny!

So I can now refer to repeating stories like this as "Telling an Airtwardo".

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[BillyVance 35]

Quote

Quote

It's old as Hell but still funny!

So I can now refer to repeating stories like this as "Telling an Airtwardo".

Yup, pretty much!

Sorry, old Jim!

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[kbordson 8]

Since we're posting entertaining jokes....

Funny Tube Drivers on the London Underground

The London underground subway system is referred to by Brits as "The Tube." Below are genuine announcements made by Tube drivers on the London Underground.

- At Camden town station (on a crowded Saturday afternoon): "Please let the passengers off the train first. Please let the passengers off the train first. Please let the passengers off the train first. Let the passengers off the train FIRST! Oh go on then, stuff yourselves in like Sardines, see if I care, I'm going home."

- "Ladies & Gentleman, upon departing the train may I remind you to take your rubbish with you. Despite the fact that you are in something that is metal, fairly round, filthy and smells, this is a tube train for public transport and not a trash bin on wheels."

- "Beggars are operating on this train, please do NOT encourage these professional beggars, if you have any spare change, please give it to a registered charity, failing that, give it to me."

- "Ladies and Gentlemen, I do apologise for the delay to your service. I know you're all dying to get home, unless, of course, you happen to be married to my ex-wife, in which case you'll want to cross over to the Westbound and go in the opposite direction."


- "Your delay this evening is caused by the line controller suffering from elbow and backside syndrome, not knowing his elbow from his backside. I'll let you know any further informat! ion as s oon as I'm given any."

- "Please mind the closing doors..." The doors close... The doors reopen. "Passengers are reminded that the big red slidey things on the side of the train are called the doors. Let's try it again. Please stand clear of the doors." The doors close... "Thank you."

- "Ladies and Gentlemen do you want the good news first or the bad news? The good news is that last Friday was my birthday and I hit the town and had a great time. I felt sadly let down by the fact that none of you sent me a card! I drive you to work and home each day and not even a card. The bad news is that there is a point's failure somewhere between Stratford and East Ham, which means that we probably won't reach our destination. We may have to stop and return. I won't reverse back up the line - simply get out walk up the platform and go back to where we started. In the mean time if you get bored you can simply talk to the man in front or beside you or opposite you. Let me start you off: Hi, my name's Gary how do you do?"

- "I am sorry about the delay, apparently some nutter has just wandered into the tunnel at Euston. We don't know when we'll be moving again, but these people tend to come out pretty quickly...usually in bits."


- "Please note that the beeping noise coming from the doors means that the doors are about to close. It does not mean 'throw yourself or your bags into the path of the closing doors!'"

- "Ladies and gentlemen, we apologise for the delay, but there is a security alert at Victoria station and we are therefore stuck here for the foreseeable future, so let's take our minds off it and pass some time together. All together now '99 bottles of beer on the wall....'."

- "To the gentleman wearing the long grey coat trying to board the second carriage - what part of 'Stand Clear of the Doors' don't you understand?"

- "We are now travelling through Baker Street, as you can see Baker Street is closed. It would have been nice if they had actually told me, so I could tell you earlier, but no, they don't think about things like that."

- During an extremely hot rush hour on the Central Line, the driver announced in a West Indian drawl: "Step right this way for the sauna, ladies and gentlemen. Unfortunately, towels are not provided."

Toyota Commercial that got Banned in the U. S. <- Wacky

- "Please allow the doors to close! Try not to confuse this with: 'Please hold the doors open'. The two are distinct, separate and opposing instructions."

- "Please move all baggage away from the doors (Pause..) Please move ALL belongings away from the doors (Pause...) This is a personal message to the man in the brown suit wearing glasses at the rear of the train - put the fish & chips down, four-eyes, and move your bloody golf clubs away from the door before I come down there and shove them up your rect*#! - sideways."