Most embarrassing thing your child ever said?

[BillyVance 34]

During a visit to my mom's this weekend, she told me what the most embarrassing thing she ever went through with either me or my brother was.

It was my brother. He was I think 2 1/2 years old. They were in a store. At the time, he was having trouble saying words that start with "tr". The "tr" always came out as "f". Well, he spied a row of toy trucks in the aisle and pointed them out "I want one!" Mom was like no. He yelled.... can you guess where this is going??? "I WANNA FUCK!"



So, what was yours, or what was your mom's most embarrassing moment with you? All I ever did as a kid was throw awesome temper tantrums. I couldn't say anything worth understanding anyway.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[shermanator 4]

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I couldn't say anything worth understanding anyway.

I still can't say anything worth understanding... and i CAN hear!

CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08
CSA #720

[ntrprnr 0]

My mom had to call the fire department when I managed to get my head stuck in the bars of the second floor gate at the local mall. 3 hours later, I was free.

_______________
"Why'd you track away at 7,000 feet?"
"Even in freefall, I have commitment issues."

[sartre 0]

When my daughter was in second grade, the class was taking turns stating what they'd like to be when they grew up.

My daughter stood up and proudly announced, "I want to be an exotic dancer!!"

I swear, she didn't know the real meaning. She was taking exotic literally........

[sunshine 2]

I was in kindergarten when i asked what a "dick" was.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[jceman 1]

My big SFC Chris had his own style in church back in the day -- these are some of his "highlights":

Pastor:"Let us pray ..."
Chris: (in a LOUD voice) "NO!"

Pastor:" ...took bread and said"
Chris: "I want a sammo!" (2 y/o for sandwich)

Finally, during a very quiet part of the sermon (of course!) he passed a wee amount of gas
and TLML or I whispered to him "What do you say?"
Chris: "I FART!"

We did the only thing we could do and moved to another town.

Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, more money.

Why do they call it "Tourist Season" if we can't shoot them?

[Broke 0]

My son to some random female at the beach, "My daddy has hairy nipples." Either that or, "My daddy has a hairy penis." I don't remember who he said it too.

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[drae 0]

My oldest son told the church pre-school teacher that he couldn't wait to get big so he could drink beer and smoke ciggarettes like his dad !!

[Peej 0]

It's not all that bad compared to some of the things in this thread but when i was a kid my grand parents came round to one of my birthday day parties (my third i think) and when they handed me their gift i squeezed the package, felt it was soft and said "oh no, not clothes again" and promptrly discarded it unopened. To this day i have never bought a kid clothes as a present!

Advertisio Rodriguez / Sky

[willard 0]

My brother had taken their dog, Bernie, to the vet to get neutered. To help give the dog some time to recupe my parents took my 4 year old niece, Whitney, to the races that evening. On the way to the track my dad inquired of Whit as to how Bernie was doing.

"Not too good, Grampa." She replied.

"Why is that?" my dad asked.

"Because daddy took him to the vet and they CUT HIS BALLS OFF!"

[RunsWthSizzors 0]

My son was standing watching me apply makeup one morning. He was about 4 yrs. He asked me, "Whats that stuff mom?" I said, "It's makeup". He said "What is it for?" And I replied, "To make me beautiful!" He watched for a minute or so more - cocked his head sideways and announced loudly, "It's not working!!"

I laughed so hard I cried!

If you can't live without me, why aren't you dead already?

[Baksteen 84]

A friend of mine is a teacher at the local primary school. One day he told me this beauty of an anecdote:

While he was conducting class some day, one of the kids suddenly shouted "vibrator!"
Of course that was all very funny, right until my friend asked the kids if anyone knew what the aforementioned appliance actually WAS.

Not a single kid knew, including the little stand-up comedian.
So my friend explained that some women do not have a partner, so they use one of those things "because it feels nice".
Oh. Okay.

My friend immediately forgot all about the incident, until the next parent night, when the parents of the kid who shouted vibrator completed the story.

When their son came home that night, he went to his mother and asked her whether she had a vibrator.
Upon questioning her son repeated what the teacher had told him.
Mommy explained that she was not alone, she had daddy.
Oh. Okay.

Mommy too forgot all about the incident.
Until the weekend, when they went visiting the really conservative Granny.
"granny? You are all alone, aren't you?"
"yes, dear, I have noone at all left," granny joked.
Oh.
"Then do you have a vibrator?"



I would have given an arm or a leg to have seen that particular grandmother's face..

"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

[Thunderbow 1]

In a store, my daughter announced that "My bagina itches".

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
Lord, let me be the person my dog thinks I am.

[BillyVance 34]

You know, I am not sure whether to be relieved that I can't hear.

On one hand, if she says something embarrassing in a store with people around, I won't know it and won't look embarrassed.

On the other hand, people are going to be looking at me all funny and either laughing their heads off or shaking their heads with a disdainful look.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[littleskycrab 0]

When my daughter was 4, I had a friend that had just had a baby. She comes by the house to visit one day and after she leaves, my husband exclaims "My Gosh, her ass is ENORMOUS!" Prior to the baby she was 105 lbs, after the baby she was 190 and it was ALL in her ass.

Fast forward 2 months....... my daughter and I are in the grocery store when said friend approaches us to say "hello". While this lady and I are talking, my daughter is frantically pulling on my shirt, chanting "mommy, mommy, mommy....". I finally say "yes?" and my beautiful, innocent child says...... "Mommy is this the lady with the enormous ass?"

The friend simply walked away and I have never heard from her again.......

Next time a sunrise steals your breath or a meadow of flowers leaves you speechless, remain that way. Say nothing and listen as heaven whispers, "Do you like it? I did it just for you."

[funjumper101 15]

My nephew was at pre-school at the local church. He was about 2.5 years old.

He was struggling with some toy for quite a while and got a bit frustrated. When one of the staff asked him how it was going, he blurted out "This motherfucker is really pissing me off". Not quite the answer she was expecting.

Dad got quite a talking to when he picked up his son that afternoon...

[BillyVance 34]

littleskycrab and funjumper -

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[lisamariewillbe 1]

"Mooommmm Anna wants to see my private parts, which ones do i show her the fronts or the backs?

At the pool in our old complex... on a very busy and crowded day

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[llkenziell 0]

I was at a Bull Riding/ Rodeo type thing where there were a bunch of people, an announcer & music -the whole thing. Some pop/country song was on and an adorable little blonde girl (prob 5?) in the stands was standing on top of her bleacher dancing. She got the attention of the announcer, who in turn go the attention of the whole crowd when she promptly lifted the front of her shirt up to her chin!!!! The parent's looked like they wanted to die...

"Living like fallen angels who lost their halos" - Unknown Prophets

-Love Life-

[DFWAJG 4]

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My mom had to call the fire department when I managed to get my head stuck in the bars of the second floor gate at the local mall. 3 hours later, I was free.

So that explains it, Peter.

[ntrprnr 0]

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Quote

My mom had to call the fire department when I managed to get my head stuck in the bars of the second floor gate at the local mall. 3 hours later, I was free.

So that explains it, Peter.

That doesn't even BEGIN to. :)

_______________
"Why'd you track away at 7,000 feet?"
"Even in freefall, I have commitment issues."

[MLKSKY 0]

My 3 year old son and I were in Walmart in line paying. It was a Sunday and the line was HUGE...people everywhere.

Anyway, he was sitting in the cart and as I ran my credit card he ripped a 10 second fart LOUD as hell!

I said "what do you say?" (sorta shocked--it was a Man-fart) and he said "ewwwwww! Mommy did it!"

[mr2mk1g 10]

My first word in this world was "shit". At the time that I learnt this word I was apparently suffering from some form of gastric complaint and as such had chronic diarrhoea... so no prizes for guessing from whom I had picked up this new word of mine.

Shortly after I learnt my very first word I was being driven by my mother back from Communist Poland to England through the Iron Curtain via Germany for one of our regular trips back home.

Now as any young child is, I was very pleased with my new-found linguistic skill and used my word constantly, proudly declaring to all who came within earshot, "shit, SHIT, shit, shiiiiiit, SH-it, shi-T, SHIIIIITTTT ".

My mother is quite sure that my repeated profanity was the determining factor in the boarder guard's decision to search our entire car, including inside the door linings, engine bay, spare wheel, luggage etc, for anything of interest that might be being smuggled out of the Communist Block by this nervous young Western woman and her profane little child.

An initially amusing, latterly embarrassing and eventually thoroughly troublesome saying I'd picked up. Rather appropriately I think, "start as you mean to go on", was apparently one of my early phrases.

[Rick 67]

So my son was about 8 and it was my turn to run the tiger cub meeting. We were making a list of things to put in a first aid kit and what they would be used for. So someone mentions tweezers and I say ok what would we need these for expecting to hear to take out splinters of something similar instead my son says " you use them to hold your cigarettes when they get small"

You can't be drunk all day if you don't start early!