lilDevil 2 #1 May 18, 2007 You have to say it in an Irish accent. Voted Best Joke in Ireland 2006 ... A teacher asks her class to use the word "contagious". Roland the teacher's pet, gets up and says, "Last year I got the measles and my mum said it was contagious." "Well done, Roland," says the teacher. "Can anyone else try?" Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, "My grandma says there's a bug going round, and it's contagious." "Well done, Katie," says the teacher. "Anyone else?" Little Irish Tommy jumps up and says in a broad Dublin accent, "Our next door neighbour is painting his house with a 2 inch brush, and my dad says it will take the contagious."``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gonzalesna 1 #2 May 18, 2007 Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lilDevil 2 #3 May 18, 2007 YOU ARE PROUDLY SOUTH AFRICAN WHEN: You call a bathing suit a "swimming costume" You call a traffic light a "robot" The employees dance in front of the building to show how unhappy they are. The SABC advertises and shows highlights of the program you just finished watching You get cold easily. Anything below 16 degrees Celsius is Arctic weather You know what Rooibos Tea is, even if you've never had any . You can sing your national anthem in four languages, and you have no idea what it means in any of them You know someone who knows someone who has met Nelson Madela You go to "braais" (barbecues) regularly, where you eat boerewors (long meaty sausage-type thing) and swim, sometimes simultaneously You know that there's nothing to do in the Free State You produce a R100 note instead of your driver's licence when stopped by a traffic officer You can do your monthly shopping on the pavement You have to hire a security guard whenever you park your car You can count the national soccer team's scores with no fingers To get free electricity you have to pay a connection fee of R750 Hijacking cars is a profession You can pay your tuition fees by holding up a sign at a traffic light The petrol in your tank may be worth more than your car More people vote in a local reality TV show than in a local election People have the most wonderful names: Christmas, Goodwill, Pretty, Wednesday, Blessing, Brilliant, Gift, Precious, Innocence and Given "Now now" can mean anything from a minute to a month You continue to wait after a traffic light has turned to green to make way for taxis travelling in the opposite direction Travelling at 120 km/h you're the slowest vehicle on the highway You're genuinely and pleasantly surprised whenever you find your car parked where you left it A bullet train is being introduced, but we can't fix potholes The last time you visited the coast you paid more in speeding fines and toll fees than you did for the entire holiday You paint your car's registration on the roof You have to take your own linen with you if you are admitted to a government hospital You have to prove that you don't need a loan to get one Prisoners go on strike You don't stop at a red traffic light, in case somebody hijacks your car You consider it a good month if you only get mugged once Rwandan refugees start leaving the country because the crime rate is too high When 2 Afrikaans TV programmes are separated by a Xhosa announcement of the following Afrikaans program, and a Pedi ad You actually get these jokes and pass them on to other friends from SA``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydemon2 0 #4 May 18, 2007 Tommy must be Johnny's irish cousin.... Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone! I like to start my day off with a little Ray of Soulshine™!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
