lilDevil 2 #1 May 30, 2007 A man complained to his friend, "My elbow hurts. I better go to the doctor." "Don't do that," volunteered his friend, "there's a new computer at the drugstore that can diagnose any problem quicker and cheaper than a doctor. All you have to do is put in a urine sample, deposit $10, then the computer will give you your diagnosis and plan of treatment." The man figured he had nothing to lose, so he took a sample of urine down to the drugstore. Finding the machine, he poured in the urine and deposited $10. The machine began to buzz and various lights flashed on and off. After a short pause, a slip of paper popped out on which was printed: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water twice a day. Avoid heavy labor. Your elbow will be better in two weeks. That evening as the man contemplated this breakthrough in medical science, he began to suspect fraud. To test his theory he mixed together some tap water, a stool sample from his dog and urine samples from his wife and teenage daughter. To top it all off, he masturbated into the jar. He took this concoction down to the drugstore, poured it in the machine and deposited $10. The machine went through the same buzzing and flashing routine as before then printed out the following message: Your tap water has lead. Get a filter. Your dog has worms. Give him vitamins. Your daughter is on drugs. Get her in rehab. Your wife is pregnant. It's not your baby. Get a lawyer. And if you don't stop jerking off your tennis elbow will never get better.``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #2 May 30, 2007 ok that one is not bad, ring me nowYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #3 May 30, 2007 are you a housewife or what!? every second post i read from you is somehow titled "bored".. get your ass over and clean up my apartment!!! “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lilDevil 2 #4 May 31, 2007 Quote are you a housewife or what!? every second post i read from you is somehow titled "bored".. get your ass over and clean up my apartment!!! No im not and clean your own ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #5 May 31, 2007 When are you coming back to the States? I missed you the first time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lilDevil 2 #6 May 31, 2007 Quote When are you coming back to the States? I missed you the first time. I dunno have to sort myself out first ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #7 May 31, 2007 I'll sort you out in no time. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lilDevil 2 #8 May 31, 2007 Quote I'll sort you out in no time. Now now your trying to be good remember lmao``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #9 May 31, 2007 No reason to be good anymoreNow let me sort you out. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lilDevil 2 #10 May 31, 2007 Quote No reason to be good anymoreNow let me sort you out. Aww poor fella why not ? I need a packer, a gardener, a cleaner a removalist and a good ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #11 May 31, 2007 Quote No reason to be good anymore Well that explains why you are back to annoying us with your postsYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #12 May 31, 2007 Guess i could garden and Sorry , no cleaning or packing, and what is a removalist? How much junk do you have? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #13 May 31, 2007 You're freakin genius sometimes Squeak. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lilDevil 2 #14 May 31, 2007 Quote Guess i could garden and Sorry , no cleaning or packing, and what is a removalist? How much junk do you have? Just the normal stuff you put in a house ``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bob.dino 1 #15 May 31, 2007 Quotewhat is a removalist? Seems to be a uniquely Australian term for a moving service - a truck and a couple of strong guys to help you pack up and move house. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #16 May 31, 2007 I quit helping people move and i'm not shy about telling them. I'll LOAN them money to buy pizza for the moving guys. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lilDevil 2 #17 May 31, 2007 Quote I quit helping people move and i'm not shy about telling them. I'll LOAN them money to buy pizza for the moving guys. Well if i had a towbar I could do it myself, well with help haha then you could buy me pizza lol``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #18 May 31, 2007 Quote You're freakin genius sometimes Squeak. So your witty charm was not quite enough to sustain the relationship, better luck next time mateYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sartre 0 #19 May 31, 2007 Boys, why must you always fight? Play nicely or don't play at all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #20 May 31, 2007 Quote Boys, why must you always fight? Play nicely or don't play at all. ( * )You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sartre 0 #21 May 31, 2007 Well, thank you, Squeak. Anyone else want to show me a nice ass shot? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #22 May 31, 2007 Quote Well, thank you, Squeak. Anyone else want to show me a nice ass shot? It's actually winking at youYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
