lilDevil 2 #1 June 13, 2007 The Fancy Dress Party A man with a bald head and a wooden leg is invited to a fancy dress party. He doesn't know what to wear to hide his head and his wooden leg so he writes to a fancy dress company to explain his problem. A few days later he receives a parcel with a note: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a pirate's outfit. The spotted handkerchief will cover your bald head and with your wooden leg you will be just right as a pirate. The man thinks this is terrible because they emphasized his disability, so he writes a letter of complaint. A week passes and he received another parcel. Dear Sir, Sorry about the previous parcel. Please find a monk's habit. The long robe will cover your wooden leg and with your bald head you will really look the part. The man is extremely furious now, because the company has gone from emphasizing his wooden leg to drawing attention to his bald head. So he writes a really rude letter of complaint. A few days later, he gets a very small parcel from the company with an accompanying letter: Dear Sir, Please find enclosed a tin of Golden Syrup. Pour the tin of Golden Syrup over your bald head, stick your wooden leg up your arse and go as a toffee apple!``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lilDevil 2 #2 June 13, 2007 We all know those cute little computer symbols called "emoticons," where: means a smile and is a frown. Well, how about some "ARSEICONS?" Here goes: (_!_) a regular arse (__!__) a fat arse (!) a tight arse (_*_) a sore arse {_!_} a swishy arse (_o_) an arse that's been around (_x_) kiss my arse (_X_) leave my arse alone (_zzz_) a tired arse (_E=mc2_) a smart arse (_$_) Money coming out of his arse (_?_) Dumb Arse``````````````````````````````````` " Cant keep a good woman down " Angels have wings, but devils can fly ! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites