Kissing after oral-anal sex

[pBASEtobe 0]

An expansion of the “Kissing after oral sex” thread.

Do you/would you kiss your SO after they’ve performed oral-anal sex on you?

[Thanatos340 1]

This reminds me of a Story:

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The really important thing about her is that she liked to lick assholes.

"You don't really know uncomfortable until you're on your back, legs in the air, with a woman licking your anus. There's no activity, sexual or otherwise, more awkward for all involved. I guess it's not all that awkward for the person licking the asshole, but then, nothing's awkward to her. For the recipient, the male recipient, it's a total reversal of the sex roles. You're "catching" - exposed, open, invaded, suddenly the woman in the exchange. This isn't God/Grandma/Apple Pie oral sex. Barry White isn't playing in the background. They don't really do this in porn. How does it even end? Are you expected to give some unholy form of a money shot? The feeling of a tongue rolling around those parts is unlike any other.

You're spread wide, like a gynecological exam, and somebody's eye to eye with your most private of orifices. You're thinking about perineal hygiene, hearing tampon commercial dialogue in your mind. Are you fresh? You find yourself trying to recall your last constitutional. How many wipes was it? Was it a clean and solid? Did you christen a perfect, near wipe-free Chocolate Submarine? Or was it a loose beer and nacho explosion? The fact is, you can wipe and buff it more than the average shoe shine - it'll never be clean enough. It's exceedingly difficult, even if you're the Earthiest naturist alive, to feel good about the aesthetics of your asshole. It's flat out impossible to feel confident about it when someone's sniffing your "body" the same way Paul Giamatti did glasses of pinot noir in "Sideways." You barely know what it looks like at a distance, let alone up close... And what little you've seen hasn't been good.

I was too drunk to realize what she intended when she pushed me onto my back. I assumed a blow job. But her tongue started inching lower. I thought she was going to lick my testicles, which was relieving, considering the mouthful of raggedly assorted horse teeth she'd otherwise run up and down the length of my penis. But then, suddenly, without warning, she grabbed my legs and thrust them upward, pushing my asshole front and center below her face. I was startled, powerless and confused. She stared up at me for a second, grinned, then plunged her head between my legs, forcing her tongue inside me as you might slurp an oyster.

I'd like to say I enjoyed it, that I handled it like an old pro, or that I discovered some new, intense form of orgasm as a result of the experience. The truth is, nobody handles a woman spit-shining his sphincter with casual aplomb. You can't play James Bond in the situation, not even Timothy Dalton's shitty, flustered Bond. You're a fumbling, self-conscious fool. Receiving a rim job - from a random girl, your wife, or Heidi Klum - is unnerving... disturbing. Every man attempts anal sex on his girlfriend sooner or later, and every woman expects it at some point during the relationship. The anus screams for exploration. It taunts you when you take a woman from behind, a cold mocking eye - sneering, winking with contempt... "You're a big man in the front door. But you haven't brought that game into my house. You're a chickenshit motherfucker is what you are." No self-respecting man takes that kind of shit-talking from an orifice. One way or another, no matter how much of a prude she is, you're going to go in the backdoor. But licking, sucking, tasting the anus? You just don't do that, no matter how hot she is, no matter how drunk you are.

That said, I'd lick a thousand women's assholes before I'd lick one man's. I've owned a male anus for decades. Without exception, be it maintained by a manicured metrosexual with a waxed taint, or a toothless swamp cretin out of "Deliverance," the male anus is Three Mile Island toxic - a cavern of festering bacteria knotted into dreadlocks of the filthiest hair on planet Earth. It has no competition in the pantheon of grotesque body parts, holding the number one slot on that countdown since man first walked upright. One hundred stinking armpits don't equal one sweaty male asshole. That she had spent several minutes licking mine dropped her from lamentable default fuck to carnival freak in an instant.

As soon as the sex was over, I bolted for the shower, after which I sunk into the couch with five fingers of Knob Creek. I gulped it furiously, praying I'd pass out on the couch before she awoke and dragged me back into the bedroom. Certainly, she knew better than to ask for "cuddling." She had to realize by the way that I'd pulled out, snapped when she tried to kiss me, chucked the condom in the garbage and ran for the door in one fluid motion that I had no intention of being anywhere near her for another moment. I'd have barely run quicker from a rabid German Shepherd.

Whatever the reason, when you have access to willing women, you make the most of it. The opportunity's fleeting by design. Sex comes in waves - massive tidal force monsters, leaving barren shore in their wake. Women sense which men are having sex and which aren't, and they only fuck those who are already getting fucked. I don't know if this is instinctual, or if it derives from the fact that men who are already having regular sex are calmer and therefore more attractive to women. Whatever the reason, when you're in the midst of a hot streak, you're at the peak of your attractiveness to women. You take advantage of the situation, no questions asked. The wave will peak and crash. You'll inevitably find yourself in a trough again, fucking your hand and cursing your luck. When nature offers you the wave, you grab it and ride the fucker into the rocks.

[FallRate 0]

Thank you for sharing such a touching story.

I think I cried... at least a bit.

FallRate

[TrophyHusband 0]

if my wife were to do this, i would kiss her afterwards. she kisses me after i do it for her. that said, i don't believe i will ever be in the position to give her the post-analingus smooch.

"Your scrotum is quite nice" - Skymama
www.kjandmegan.com

[porpoishead 8]

a.k.a.; A.T.M.(ass to mouth)









I have an A.T.M. card

if you want a friend feed any animal
Perry Farrell

[mnealtx 0]

Quote

Thank you for sharing such a touching story.

I think I cried... at least a bit.

FallRate

Is that a "that's so sweet" crying or a "crying game" crying?

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

[sunshine 2]

I've never done the anal thing...it just seems icky to me. If other people are into it, thats their business, but it just aint my thang.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[normiss 900]

"I prefer jelly wif mine"

[sharimcm 0]

No... No ass-to-mouth... This is not Clerks 2...

But, then again, anal anything doesn't really do anything for me... Well, actually, it can lead to a kidney infection, but other than that....

"I had a dude tip his black cowboy hat to me after I provided him with a condom outside my hotel room at 3-something in the morning." -myself

[Scubadivemaster 3]

I'm sitting at my desk laughing and crying. All my employees think I'm nuts. I've got to stop reading this shit at work.

[jumpwally 0]

now thats some funny stuff !

smile, be nice, enjoy life
FB # - 1083

[Gawain 0]

Quote

This reminds me of a Story:

Quote

That said, I'd lick a thousand women's assholes before I'd lick one man's. I've owned a male anus for decades. Without exception, be it maintained by a manicured metrosexual with a waxed taint, or a toothless swamp cretin out of "Deliverance," the male anus is Three Mile Island toxic - a cavern of festering bacteria knotted into dreadlocks of the filthiest hair on planet Earth. It has no competition in the pantheon of grotesque body parts, holding the number one slot on that countdown since man first walked upright. One hundred stinking armpits don't equal one sweaty male asshole. That she had spent several minutes licking mine dropped her from lamentable default fuck to carnival freak in an instant.

What a well composed statement!!

So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh
Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright
'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life
Make light!

[aprilcat 0]

Thats a lovely extrance exam essay; nice opening thesis and you jump to the hypothesis at the right point in the second paragraph followed by amusing analogies thereafter. However, I have to note that you fail to return to your thesis in the end, removing the visceral feeling of the first paragraph.

In other words, if you are going to make us feel that 100 stinky armpits are better than doing this, you would be better served by returning to that thought in the end, as opposed to lamenting fucking one's hand after a crestred wave of sexual partners.
Your grade...B
P.S. where'd you swipe that story???~~April

Camelot II, the Electric Boogaloo!

[Squeak 17]

Quote

Thats a lovely extrance exam essay; nice opening thesis and you jump to the hypothesis at the right point in the second paragraph followed by amusing analogies thereafter. However, I have to note that you fail to return to your thesis in the end, removing the visceral feeling of the first paragraph.

In other words, if you are going to make us feel that 100 stinky armpits are better than doing this, you would be better served by returning to that thought in the end, as opposed to lamenting fucking one's hand after a crestred wave of sexual partners.
Your grade...B
P.S. where'd you swipe that story???~~April

I'm glad you put in that last line Because I thought maybe you thought Jay wrote it

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?