boinky 0 #1 September 10, 2007 In honor of the start of the new school year, I think we should bring out our best college jokes. I'll start. Three aspiring psychiatrists, from three leading universities, were attending their first class on emotional extremes. Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from UCLA, What is the opposite of joy?" "Sadness," said the student. "And the opposite of depression?" he asked the young lady from Clemson. "Elation," she said. "And you, sir," he said to the student from Texas A&M, "How about the opposite of woe?" The Texas A&M student replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy up".Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #2 September 10, 2007 Not really a joke, but it's funny how Texas A&M and U. of Texas' battle cries sounds like a dig at each other. UT - Hook 'Em Horns! A&M - Gig 'Em Aggies! Did I get them right? "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #3 September 10, 2007 How many aggie jokes are there? One, the rest are true stories. What's the most overrated conference on college football this year? The SEC. Wait, that last one wasn't a joke. Sorry. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #4 September 10, 2007 How many U.C. San Diego students does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to mix the margaritas and one to change it. How many U.C. Davis students does it take to change a lightbulb? 30. One to change the lightbulb, and thirty to form a study on the environmental impact of changing a lightbulb as related to methane emissions from ruminants. How many U.C. San Francisco students does it take to change a lightbulb? Just one, but he'll quickly crack under the pressure. How many U.C. Santa Barbara students does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, and I got 4 units for it!How many U.C. Berkeley students does it take to change a lightbulb? Seventy-seven. One to change the lightbulb, fifty to protest the lightbulb's right to not change, twenty-five to hold a counter-protest, and one to supply the acid. How many U.C. Irvine students does it take to change a lightbulb? None. They call an electrician. How many U.C.L.A. students does it take to change a lightbulb? 4. One to call daddy. One to take notes of instructions on the PDA. One to change the lightbulb and another to bitch about how it could have been done better if they just listened. How many UC Riverside students does it take to change a lightbulb? None. The place is much more tolerable when you don't have to see it. How many UC Merced students does it take to change a lightbulb? None. It isn't wired for electricity, yet. How many U.C. Santa Cruz students does it take to change a lightbulb? Eleven. One to change the lightbulb and ten to form a support group. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #5 September 10, 2007 Okay. Okay. I just gotta. How many Michigan football players does it take to change a tire? Just one. Unless it's a blowout. Then the whole team shows up. How are Aggies different from Rice Krispies? Rice Krispies know what to do in a bowl. How do Aggies practice safe sex? They hogtie the cows first. Why does the Aggie Corps wear polyester uniforms? There's no virgin wool within a hundred miles of College Station! What's the definition of mass confusion? Father's day in College Station. How do you get an A&M grad off your front porch? You pay for the pizza. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
boinky 0 #6 September 10, 2007 Quote How are Aggies different from Rice Krispies? Rice Krispies know what to do in a bowl. How do Aggies practice safe sex? They hogtie the cows first. Why does the Aggie Corps wear polyester uniforms? There's no virgin wool within a hundred miles of College Station! What's the definition of mass confusion? Father's day in College Station. How do you get an A&M grad off your front porch? You pay for the pizza. Ooooh....you'd better hope AggieDave doesn't see those! Coincidentally, I live one mile from Texas A&M and I just love those pizza delivering Aggies! Nina Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz) Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #7 September 10, 2007 I've known A LOT of Aggies. You know, their fight song is the only school fight song to which I know the words. Because they'd get together in a group and fuckin sing it every night. I remember one of them. The guy pissed me off and I broke his finger by punching him in the nose. My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFKING 4 #8 September 10, 2007 *** Q. How many UC Santa Barbara students does it take to add 30 + 1 correctly ? A. Unknown. I only know one, and he can't seem to. (....normally I wouldn't, but you had to go attack my Wolverines....). Don "When in doubt I whip it out, I got me a rock-and-roll band. It's a free-for-all." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
willard 0 #9 September 10, 2007 Q: How do you get a Michigan cheerleader into your dorm room? A: Grease up the doorway and push really hard. Q: How long does it take a Michigan football team to drop out of the rankings from #5? A: 1 game. No joke. Go Buckeyes! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #10 September 10, 2007 Quote *** Q. How many UC Santa Barbara students does it take to add 30 + 1 correctly ? A. Unknown. I only know one, and he can't seem to. (....normally I wouldn't, but you had to go attack my Wolverines....). I still got 4 units for it. Don My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFKING 4 #11 September 11, 2007 Why did Ohio State put in artificial turf for the 2007 saeason? To stop their cheerleaders from grazing at half-time. Don"When in doubt I whip it out, I got me a rock-and-roll band. It's a free-for-all." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
