floridadiver81 0 #1 October 27, 2007 Disclaimer. This post has nothing to do with me. This question came up when i was talking to a guy i worked with. Is it true that if a child is not yours..but you raise it for a certain amount of years..if the relationship ends is that person still responsible to pay child support even though the child is not theres? And if so..what is the amount of time that it would take? Again...this is not a post relating to me..i just want to satisfy my own curiosity. Thanks "Age has absolutely nothing to do with knowledge, learning, respect, attitude, or personality." -yardhippie "Fight the air, and the air will kick your ass!!! "-Specialkaye Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bozo 0 #2 October 27, 2007 Quote Is it true that if a child is not yours..but you raise it for a certain amount of years..if the relationship ends is that person still responsible to pay child support even though the child is not theres? reply] Child support...something I know well about. If the guy.....in most states...hasnt adopted the child he has no "legal" reason to pay child suport. Morally...on the other hand......if he has been that childs father for quite some time, its a bit hard for the child to understand why daddy is gone and wont take care of or visit him/her. It takes more than being the birth father to be a real "father". bozo Pain is fleeting. Glory lasts forever. Chicks dig scars. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites jonstark 8 #3 October 27, 2007 If you've been taking care of a kid that is not yours you can be the presumed father after a very short time. That depends upon the state. Put a Jiffy on that stiffy Bubba and no datin' single moms. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites JohnMitchell 16 #4 October 27, 2007 Just ain't right in my book, but I've heard of that happening. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites JerryBaumchen 1,468 #5 October 27, 2007 Hi Florida, it happened here in Oregon. It's the judge's call. JerryBaumchen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites akarunway 1 #6 October 27, 2007 Quote Disclaimer. This post has nothing to do with me. This question came up when i was talking to a guy i worked with. Is it true that if a child is not yours..but you raise it for a certain amount of years..if the relationship ends is that person still responsible to pay child support even though the child is not theres? And if so..what is the amount of time that it would take? Again...this is not a post relating to me..i just want to satisfy my own curiosity. Thanks Like someone else stated. depends on the state, the judge and amount of time in yur custody. Been there, done that. Guns, money and lawyers.I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites RhondaLea 4 #7 October 27, 2007 If you google "paternity fraud," you will find that this is one of the hot social issues of our day. Traditionally, the law assumes a woman's husband is the father of her child. Although there are now some states (12, I think) that have enacted laws to protect men from paying for non-biological, non-adopted children, in most states, a man who has established a parent/child bond is expected to go on paying, even after a paternity test proves he is not the biological father. A number of men have tried and failed to dispute their obligation to pay--if you google as I suggested, you'll see the cases--but that is slowly beginning to change because of activism by men's rights groups. The unfortunate consequence of this, I'm afraid, is that those men who know they are not the biological father of a child, but who have chosen to parent anyway, will be at risk of losing that child at the mother's whim. One can only hope that future laws will be crafted carefully enough to protect such men. Edited to add link: http://www.canadiancrc.com/articles/ABC_Duped_Dads_02OCT02.htm rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites freefalle 0 #8 October 27, 2007 thats crap, so does it work both ways? I have custody of a child, I start dating a woman, we get married, we get divorced lets say after 10 years or whatever, do you think a judge is going to court order her to pay child support..... I doubt it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites floridadiver81 0 #9 October 27, 2007 well.my girl is a single mom...but as stated in the original post this is not a problem with me. my gf's mom's bf told me about it..and i have never heard of that before....unless the father legally adopted the child. I can see if adoption took place..then he is legally responsible for that child. But if he did not legally adopt the child then he has no financial obligation to that child. Who is to say that a woman that has children cant go out...find a rich man...fake a relationship for the minimum amount of time it takes to establish this "illegitimate fatherhood" then end the relationship and the man is stuck with child support for the remainder of the time until they turn 18...all because he was in a relationship that was never real in the first place...but if a court thinks that it was they will rule in her favor!? That...to me...is complete bullshit. A lot of women out there are very devious and willing to do whatever it takes to not work and have a man take care of children that in most cases are not his. Dont get me wrong...there are a lot of hard working women out there and they all have my respect...but all it takes is a few bad ones to give the good ones a bad name. I think i would be an avid support for the Men's Rights groups. Its deception, lies, and just plain unfair...like some have already stated in this post. If the DNA does not match the child's...then unless adoption is gone through...the man should not be legally responsible for that child unless he chooses to. JMHO. "Age has absolutely nothing to do with knowledge, learning, respect, attitude, or personality." -yardhippie "Fight the air, and the air will kick your ass!!! "-Specialkaye Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites floridadiver81 0 #10 October 27, 2007 I kind of touched on that slighty..but i agree with you too. If the court case is a woman trying to get child support she will have the sympathy of the court. If the roles were reversed...with the man trying to get the child support there would be no sympathy because he is just that..a man...and a woman is still to this day is still considered by society the "weaker sex". Even though women are occupying jobs typically held by men. They are serving in the military fighting the war on terror....but they are still considered weak? WFT! They should not be given sympathy when they have demonstrated over the years to do 85% of the jobs typically held by a man. I can see this being moved to speakers corner real quick...LOL"Age has absolutely nothing to do with knowledge, learning, respect, attitude, or personality." -yardhippie "Fight the air, and the air will kick your ass!!! "-Specialkaye Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Frenchy68 0 #11 October 27, 2007 Quotemy gf's mom's bf told me about it.. How old is your gf's mom's girl's bf? "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites windcatcher 0 #12 October 27, 2007 Quote Is it true that if a child is not yours..but you raise it for a certain amount of years..if the relationship ends is that person still responsible to pay child support even though the child is not theres? Legally no, from my understanding of it. I don't believe so...unless the ex manipulates you into paying extra child support so you can continue to see that child that you love as your own, which of course means the ex would rather have a few extra bucks than ensure their child grows up with a healthy relationship with his/her fatherBut what do I know? BTW, child support systems do not always care where the money goes, so long as they see $$$ flowing through their system. They don't care if the money that SHOULD be supporting the children goes for something ludicrous, like say, a tattoo. Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites windcatcher 0 #13 October 27, 2007 Quote The unfortunate consequence of this, I'm afraid, is that those men who know they are not the biological father of a child, but who have chosen to parent anyway, will be at risk of losing that child at the mother's whim. And this to me can end up being a very sick form of manipulation. Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Tink1717 2 #14 October 27, 2007 In Maryland, the short answer is yes. The way the child support and divorce laws are written in MD are heavily biased toward women. Pretty much, if she wants it, she gets it. This is also without regard to who is at fault in the divorce or custody. The father or boyfriend has virtually no rights in this state.Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off. -The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!) AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites turtlespeed 226 #15 October 27, 2007 Quote Quote Is it true that if a child is not yours..but you raise it for a certain amount of years..if the relationship ends is that person still responsible to pay child support even though the child is not theres? Legally no, from my understanding of it. I don't believe so...unless the ex manipulates you into paying extra child support so you can continue to see that child that you love as your own, which of course means the ex would rather have a few extra bucks than ensure their child grows up with a healthy relationship with his/her fatherBut what do I know? BTW, child support systems do not always care where the money goes, so long as they see $$$ flowing through their system. They don't care if the money that SHOULD be supporting the children goes for something ludicrous, like say, a tattoo. Or supporting another child by another guy.Sad really - but the OP has it correct . . you don't actually have to be the father of the kid to be made legally responsible . . . AND - it doesn't neccessarily give you visitation rights or even any say in how the kid grows up - it just means that the judge decided that you were going to pay so that the state didn't have to.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites skymedic 0 #16 October 27, 2007 It's not a judges call. it is the law. in most states, that is. I am personally proof positive. My dad is not my biological father yet he paid child support for me for 10 years, plus insurance for me all that time too. my mom liked to "get around" a bit. My dad knew I wasn't "his" but assumed the responsibility when my groveling mother came back to him pregnant. My dad could of tried to say I wasn't his but in the state of IL if you are pregnant and married it is immediately assumed that the husband is the father unless another person comes forward. My dad is a fucking saint. and then some. Marc otherwise known as Mr.Fallinwoman.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Snowwhite 0 #17 October 28, 2007 Screw it, I think we should have a sort of "child Pound" where you take kids whose folks, whether biological or implied, could drop them off, if they no longer wanted them. We could have cages or rooms if you will for these kids, and beg for rags for them to sleep on and food to feed them while we try to find homes for them. We then adopt them out to prospective new homes, but we have the homes examined and the kids spayed/neutered before they are sent to their new families. Obviously, I am being facetious here. I have raised two of my biological children, and 1 adopted and have had about 8 or 9 foster kids thru my house at one or another time. Tell the guy who is trying to weasel out of a relationship, too bad, you wanted to screw the mom, now you are the kids dad by default. Take it like a man, and raise the kid/ pay the support, be in the life of a child who needs you.skydiveTaylorville.org freefallbeth@yahoo.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites bodypilot1 0 #18 October 28, 2007 Quote Disclaimer. This post has nothing to do with me. This question came up when i was talking to a guy i worked with. Is it true that if a child is not yours..but you raise it for a certain amount of years..if the relationship ends is that person still responsible to pay child support even though the child is not theres? And if so..what is the amount of time that it would take? Again...this is not a post relating to me..i just want to satisfy my own curiosity. Thanks A child that you have loved, raised and cared for, for any amount of time, is never an "it", yours or not........Support that child the best you can...... Edwww.WestCoastWingsuits.com www.PrecisionSkydiving.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. 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jonstark 8 #3 October 27, 2007 If you've been taking care of a kid that is not yours you can be the presumed father after a very short time. That depends upon the state. Put a Jiffy on that stiffy Bubba and no datin' single moms. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 16 #4 October 27, 2007 Just ain't right in my book, but I've heard of that happening. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JerryBaumchen 1,468 #5 October 27, 2007 Hi Florida, it happened here in Oregon. It's the judge's call. JerryBaumchen Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
akarunway 1 #6 October 27, 2007 Quote Disclaimer. This post has nothing to do with me. This question came up when i was talking to a guy i worked with. Is it true that if a child is not yours..but you raise it for a certain amount of years..if the relationship ends is that person still responsible to pay child support even though the child is not theres? And if so..what is the amount of time that it would take? Again...this is not a post relating to me..i just want to satisfy my own curiosity. Thanks Like someone else stated. depends on the state, the judge and amount of time in yur custody. Been there, done that. Guns, money and lawyers.I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #7 October 27, 2007 If you google "paternity fraud," you will find that this is one of the hot social issues of our day. Traditionally, the law assumes a woman's husband is the father of her child. Although there are now some states (12, I think) that have enacted laws to protect men from paying for non-biological, non-adopted children, in most states, a man who has established a parent/child bond is expected to go on paying, even after a paternity test proves he is not the biological father. A number of men have tried and failed to dispute their obligation to pay--if you google as I suggested, you'll see the cases--but that is slowly beginning to change because of activism by men's rights groups. The unfortunate consequence of this, I'm afraid, is that those men who know they are not the biological father of a child, but who have chosen to parent anyway, will be at risk of losing that child at the mother's whim. One can only hope that future laws will be crafted carefully enough to protect such men. Edited to add link: http://www.canadiancrc.com/articles/ABC_Duped_Dads_02OCT02.htm rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freefalle 0 #8 October 27, 2007 thats crap, so does it work both ways? I have custody of a child, I start dating a woman, we get married, we get divorced lets say after 10 years or whatever, do you think a judge is going to court order her to pay child support..... I doubt it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
floridadiver81 0 #9 October 27, 2007 well.my girl is a single mom...but as stated in the original post this is not a problem with me. my gf's mom's bf told me about it..and i have never heard of that before....unless the father legally adopted the child. I can see if adoption took place..then he is legally responsible for that child. But if he did not legally adopt the child then he has no financial obligation to that child. Who is to say that a woman that has children cant go out...find a rich man...fake a relationship for the minimum amount of time it takes to establish this "illegitimate fatherhood" then end the relationship and the man is stuck with child support for the remainder of the time until they turn 18...all because he was in a relationship that was never real in the first place...but if a court thinks that it was they will rule in her favor!? That...to me...is complete bullshit. A lot of women out there are very devious and willing to do whatever it takes to not work and have a man take care of children that in most cases are not his. Dont get me wrong...there are a lot of hard working women out there and they all have my respect...but all it takes is a few bad ones to give the good ones a bad name. I think i would be an avid support for the Men's Rights groups. Its deception, lies, and just plain unfair...like some have already stated in this post. If the DNA does not match the child's...then unless adoption is gone through...the man should not be legally responsible for that child unless he chooses to. JMHO. "Age has absolutely nothing to do with knowledge, learning, respect, attitude, or personality." -yardhippie "Fight the air, and the air will kick your ass!!! "-Specialkaye Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
floridadiver81 0 #10 October 27, 2007 I kind of touched on that slighty..but i agree with you too. If the court case is a woman trying to get child support she will have the sympathy of the court. If the roles were reversed...with the man trying to get the child support there would be no sympathy because he is just that..a man...and a woman is still to this day is still considered by society the "weaker sex". Even though women are occupying jobs typically held by men. They are serving in the military fighting the war on terror....but they are still considered weak? WFT! They should not be given sympathy when they have demonstrated over the years to do 85% of the jobs typically held by a man. I can see this being moved to speakers corner real quick...LOL"Age has absolutely nothing to do with knowledge, learning, respect, attitude, or personality." -yardhippie "Fight the air, and the air will kick your ass!!! "-Specialkaye Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Frenchy68 0 #11 October 27, 2007 Quotemy gf's mom's bf told me about it.. How old is your gf's mom's girl's bf? "For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #12 October 27, 2007 Quote Is it true that if a child is not yours..but you raise it for a certain amount of years..if the relationship ends is that person still responsible to pay child support even though the child is not theres? Legally no, from my understanding of it. I don't believe so...unless the ex manipulates you into paying extra child support so you can continue to see that child that you love as your own, which of course means the ex would rather have a few extra bucks than ensure their child grows up with a healthy relationship with his/her fatherBut what do I know? BTW, child support systems do not always care where the money goes, so long as they see $$$ flowing through their system. They don't care if the money that SHOULD be supporting the children goes for something ludicrous, like say, a tattoo. Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #13 October 27, 2007 Quote The unfortunate consequence of this, I'm afraid, is that those men who know they are not the biological father of a child, but who have chosen to parent anyway, will be at risk of losing that child at the mother's whim. And this to me can end up being a very sick form of manipulation. Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tink1717 2 #14 October 27, 2007 In Maryland, the short answer is yes. The way the child support and divorce laws are written in MD are heavily biased toward women. Pretty much, if she wants it, she gets it. This is also without regard to who is at fault in the divorce or custody. The father or boyfriend has virtually no rights in this state.Skydivers don't knock on Death's door. They ring the bell and runaway... It really pisses him off. -The World Famous Tink. (I never heard of you either!!) AA #2069 ASA#33 POPS#8808 Swooo 1717 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #15 October 27, 2007 Quote Quote Is it true that if a child is not yours..but you raise it for a certain amount of years..if the relationship ends is that person still responsible to pay child support even though the child is not theres? Legally no, from my understanding of it. I don't believe so...unless the ex manipulates you into paying extra child support so you can continue to see that child that you love as your own, which of course means the ex would rather have a few extra bucks than ensure their child grows up with a healthy relationship with his/her fatherBut what do I know? BTW, child support systems do not always care where the money goes, so long as they see $$$ flowing through their system. They don't care if the money that SHOULD be supporting the children goes for something ludicrous, like say, a tattoo. Or supporting another child by another guy.Sad really - but the OP has it correct . . you don't actually have to be the father of the kid to be made legally responsible . . . AND - it doesn't neccessarily give you visitation rights or even any say in how the kid grows up - it just means that the judge decided that you were going to pay so that the state didn't have to.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymedic 0 #16 October 27, 2007 It's not a judges call. it is the law. in most states, that is. I am personally proof positive. My dad is not my biological father yet he paid child support for me for 10 years, plus insurance for me all that time too. my mom liked to "get around" a bit. My dad knew I wasn't "his" but assumed the responsibility when my groveling mother came back to him pregnant. My dad could of tried to say I wasn't his but in the state of IL if you are pregnant and married it is immediately assumed that the husband is the father unless another person comes forward. My dad is a fucking saint. and then some. Marc otherwise known as Mr.Fallinwoman.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Snowwhite 0 #17 October 28, 2007 Screw it, I think we should have a sort of "child Pound" where you take kids whose folks, whether biological or implied, could drop them off, if they no longer wanted them. We could have cages or rooms if you will for these kids, and beg for rags for them to sleep on and food to feed them while we try to find homes for them. We then adopt them out to prospective new homes, but we have the homes examined and the kids spayed/neutered before they are sent to their new families. Obviously, I am being facetious here. I have raised two of my biological children, and 1 adopted and have had about 8 or 9 foster kids thru my house at one or another time. Tell the guy who is trying to weasel out of a relationship, too bad, you wanted to screw the mom, now you are the kids dad by default. Take it like a man, and raise the kid/ pay the support, be in the life of a child who needs you.skydiveTaylorville.org freefallbeth@yahoo.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bodypilot1 0 #18 October 28, 2007 Quote Disclaimer. This post has nothing to do with me. This question came up when i was talking to a guy i worked with. Is it true that if a child is not yours..but you raise it for a certain amount of years..if the relationship ends is that person still responsible to pay child support even though the child is not theres? And if so..what is the amount of time that it would take? Again...this is not a post relating to me..i just want to satisfy my own curiosity. Thanks A child that you have loved, raised and cared for, for any amount of time, is never an "it", yours or not........Support that child the best you can...... Edwww.WestCoastWingsuits.com www.PrecisionSkydiving.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
