udder 0 #1 January 16, 2006 like walts joyful tales of misadventure i too will tell you a terrible story. but unlike walt I am 19 and this happen about 2 hours ago. so after two months of movies and friendly chatting I pulled out all the stops and kissed this girl on news years eve. Not much happend since then. Until today that is. After much sweet talk I invited her over to my house. We made a lunch of toasted cheese, avocado and tomato sandwiches. Washed it down with some sparkling apple juice and then had a swim. Then came the moment I had been waiting for. SEX. hooray. well after wrapping said friend, business began as per usual until roughly 3 minutes later it was all over. "FUCK" i said to myself out aloud, acting very calm and collected.As a side note in december I was oversexed and anything less than 30 mins was dissapointing... But back to the story. So I waited a few minutes and Mr Droopy bacame Mr Happy again. I was wise and condomised, though this time instead of cuming rather early it just died. It surrendered in the middle of the battle. And not just once. I tried again afterwards and it did the same thing again. TWICE. Well she was fine about it, though Im pretty sure her friends will be laughing hysterically about me right about now. It used to stand at attention in full battle dress and fight the good fight. Now it's applying for a disability pension... my penis ruined my day."In one way or the other, I'm a bad brother. Word to the motherf**ker." Eazy-E Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CornishChris 5 #2 January 16, 2006 And you are happy sharing this news on the internerd... CJP Gods don't kill people. People with Gods kill people Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
UntamedDOG 0 #3 January 16, 2006 You were not attracted to her. Sexually, that is. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scoop 0 #4 January 16, 2006 Hahaha, sorry for laughing dude. I know it sucks. I drove 20 mins to pick up a nice grirl I liked, 20 mins to back to my town. We had a good day. Things got a bit hotter, took back to my house. THought Id sweeten the moment and took my head downstairs. JESUS! THIS GIRL OBVIOUSLY NEVER HEARD OF FEMININE HYGIENE! Well, my shrink wrapped warrior died too. Whatever we tried after that didn't work. So I promptly drove her the 20 mins back to her house and I retired home. Im now sponsored by Colgate & Lysterine I didnt tell her the reason though, I tried to not let on, so no doubt she just thinks im inadequate. Ahh well, experiences like that leave a bad taste in your mouth *cymbal crash* *tumble weed. church bell. shutters banging* Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #5 January 16, 2006 Did you ummm... have a jumprun before you tried said sexcapade?Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Vectracide 0 #6 January 16, 2006 Dude, never go out cocked and loaded with a chick you plan on having sex with. You gotta release the Marines before hand...... Hah...pun inteneded. ------------------------------ Controlled and Deliberate..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freefallfreak 0 #7 January 16, 2006 Uhh, would this be called "An Udder Failure? TripleF "Upon seeing the shadow of a pigeon, one must resist the urge to look up." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #8 January 16, 2006 QuoteYou were not attracted to her. Sexually, that is. Why must you write things like this? rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #9 January 16, 2006 QuoteQuoteYou were not attracted to her. Sexually, that is. Why must you write things like this? rl [Walt puts on his Kevlar body armor and runs a safe distance away] Because if sex with him goes bad, it's ALWAYS the woman's fault! (Please, RL, don't throw rocks. You know I am kidding!) Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #10 January 16, 2006 This posting has had the strangest effect on me. It's like meeting someone who has a huge pimple in the middle of their forehead. I find myself staring at it incessantly, yet no words come to mind. I have no response. I don't even have any conscious thoughts about it. I'm just staring. I guess I just found out that I can still reach a state of shock and awe. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hexadecimal 0 #11 January 16, 2006 Was she "used"? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #12 January 16, 2006 QuoteBecause if sex with him goes bad, it's ALWAYS the woman's fault! (Please, RL, don't throw rocks. You know I am kidding!) Y'know...it's just one of those biological mishaps. Too eager, failure. Not eager enough, failure. Too much to drink, failure. Tired, failure. It's really no big deal, but the way some guys act about it, you really would think it's where they keep their brains. Men don't realize that women have the same problem at times. It just happens. So you go do something else until the urge strikes and you try again. Or not. rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #13 January 16, 2006 So, uh, RL, how ya' doin'? I've got some time to kill here..... Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #14 January 16, 2006 Ok. I finally figured out what bothers me so much about this post. On one hand, I can appreciate the "comedy of errors" aspect of it because my whole life has been that way. On the other hand, I am a really huge fan of womankind. I joke about being a slave to the women of the world and stuff like that all the time, but there really is a lot of truth to that, and the rest of this post comes from that part of me. You experienced some "sex gone wrong" as most of us have at one time or another, but the focus of the post is all on you. YOUR experience. YOUR penis. YOUR day being ruined. After that happened, did you just say, "Whoa, that kinda sucks!" and then get dressed, go home, and post about it on the internet? Please tell me you didn't do that. Please. Now I have no clue what was going through your mind or hers, but if the woman was worth being with (and she thought *you* were worth being with) you would have still been with her two hours later and probably really glad you stayed. Tell you what. If something like that happens again and you want to post it and make it sound really funny, PM me. After I tell you to just forget about yourself, get your ass back over to her place, and make *her* happy, I'll do a re-write for you. Then you can add that afterwards, you went back over and had a much better time. Oh, and in all sincerity, thankyou for reading the stories I have posted. Now get your ass back over to her place and make her happy, dammit!!!! If you're not quite sure how, PM me. I'll consult with the experts and get back with you. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MC208B 0 #15 January 16, 2006 sounds like a personal problem to me. You should keep it personal Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChrisL 2 #16 January 16, 2006 Wow. Poor guy. All finished at 19 years old :-) You realize that you will never be able to perform adequately again after this and soon enough, no woman will want you. No worries, it was probably too small anyway so your debilitating impotence will actually save you from future embarassment __ My mighty steed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jraf 0 #17 January 16, 2006 Your problem is that you washed it down with some sparkling apple juice - you never ever should wash your penis with sparkling apple juice. You wash it with water! Now the amount of sparkling apple juice you washed your penis with will be proportionate to the time your penis will refuse sexual readyness. For your sake I hope it was less than 10 ounces!jraf Me Jungleman! Me have large Babalui. Muff #3275 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ExAFO 0 #18 January 17, 2006 http://www.19.5degs.com/element/608.phpIllinois needs a CCW Law. NOW. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nitrox100 0 #19 January 17, 2006 Wow, that is fucked up. No, not that it happened but rather that you posted it. Still it got me thinking. The reason is most likely because you are gay and did not realize it. Now the first boner was likely achieved through sheer hormones. When I was 19 I could get one just from listening to a nitro dragster. After spending your essence you were now left with nothing but your real sex drive to power you along. Being with a naked woman just didn't work for you. So the next time either just admit you are gay and find a nice consenting man to have sex with or try visualizing a love scene from Brokeback Mountain. If you have to, you can think about watching the other guys climb the rope back in gym class. Glad I could help. I am not criticizing your pursuasion. With a masters in psych I have seen it many times before. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
narcimund 0 #20 January 17, 2006 QuoteThe reason is most likely because you are gay and did not realize it. I don't know about that. I used to do fine with women when I was 19. I think it's something worse. Probably organic. Maybe malignant. First Class Citizen Twice Over Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 4 #21 January 17, 2006 Quotesounds like a personal problem to me. You should keep it personal This is why men have failed to evolve from their origins. If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
christoofar 0 #22 January 17, 2006 Although the type of meal he had fixed up/ordered gives a clue, I think at 19, he's probably still too young to know if it's b/c he could be gay. ____________________________________________________________ I'm RICK JAMES! Fo shizzle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
juanesky 0 #23 January 17, 2006 LMAO you post whores have nothing better to do today. "According to some of the conservatives here, it sounds like it's fine to beat your wide - as long as she had it coming." -Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
yamtx73 0 #24 January 17, 2006 QuoteQuotesounds like a personal problem to me. You should keep it personal This is why men have failed to evolve from their origins. He's only 19, give him another 10-15 years to learn when to keep it to himself... The only naturals in this sport shit thru feathers... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
udder 0 #25 January 17, 2006 lol... fuck there are some dodgy posts here. but I will elaborate further. I was tired as all hell and she wasn't kept up to the standards I got accustomed to... far too much hair. and just two weeks ago i spent days doing nothing but having sex. and to walt, I'll do pretty much anything she wants, but eating out something that tastes like condom lube and smells of latex is disgusting, smells and tastes so much worse. Though I offered anyways... I was pretty amazed at what happend. So tonight im going to dinner at someone elses house, and its do or die time.. "In one way or the other, I'm a bad brother. Word to the motherf**ker." Eazy-E Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
