Little Johnny

[BillyVance 35]

Little Johnny went up to his father and said, "Dad, the teacher gave us an assignment to determine the difference between potentially and realistically. Can you help me?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother is she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So little Johnny went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" His mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university." Little Johnny then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" the girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt, I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?"

Little Johnny then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

"Of course", the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"

Little Johnny pondered the answers for a few days, then went back to his Dad.

His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"

Little Johnny replied. "Yes, potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars. But realistically, we are living with two sluts and a queer.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ShefBoiRD 0]

ROF

Strafing field mice, twice an hour.

[gonzalesna 1]

Quote

Little Johnny went up to his father and said, "Dad, the teacher gave us an assignment to determine the difference between potentially and realistically. Can you help me?" The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother is she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that." So little Johnny went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" His mother replied, "Of course, I would! We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to a great university." Little Johnny then went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?" the girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad Pitt, I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?"

Little Johnny then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars?"

"Of course", the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks would buy?"

Little Johnny pondered the answers for a few days, then went back to his Dad.

His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between potentially and realistically?"

Little Johnny replied. "Yes, potentially, you and I are sitting on three million dollars. But realistically, we are living with two sluts and a queer.

That one's almost as old as 'Twardo!

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[2fat2fly 0]

Quote

That one's almost as old as 'Twardo!

Nah, that was the original version

"Ug ug oog ug ohh ooh ar ug...." I don't know the rest

I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

[livendive 8]

I've posted this one before...

Sooo...little Johnny goes to his dad one day and asks, "Dad, what does a vagina look like?" His father is taken aback, as he wasn't prepared for questions of this nature so early in Johnny's development. He thinks for a moment, then replies, "Uh, I suppose that depends, son. Er, are you talking about before a woman has intercourse or after?" Johnny doesn't get the question of course, so he says, "Well, before, I guess." His dad exhales, smiles, and responds, "Have you ever seen a beautiful rose, first thing in the morning, with the petals all splayed out perfectly, and tiny drops of dew on them? That's what a vagina looks like." Johnny isn't particularly satisfied with this metaphor, so he continues his line of questioning, "Well, that's all fine, I suppose, but then what does it look like after she has intercourse?" His dad was fearing this would happen...he takes a deep breath, exhales, then responds, "Have you ever seen a bulldog eat mayonnaise?"

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[BillyVance 35]

Good thing I wasn't drinking anything while reading the last sentence!

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[bluepill 0]

[BIGUN 1,488]

OK. How do I clean coffee off the friggin keyboard and screen. I thought I'd heard all the Johnny jokes. That was funny shit.

Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard.

[livendive 8]

Quote

OK. How do I clean coffee off the friggin keyboard and screen. I thought I'd heard all the Johnny jokes. That was funny shit.

Several years ago, 4 of us local skydivers competed in local pool league tournaments during the winter. One such evening, after the beer had begun flowing at a somewhat alarming rate, I told this joke and one of our guys got his mouth out in front of his brain by piping up "Hey, I like the mayonnaise!" His girlfriend who would soon become his wife, mother of his third child, and ex-wife, in that order, confirmed...he like to eat at the Y after contaminating the environment. Not a particularly wise thing to admit in front of skydivers, and yes, we still give him shit about it whenever the opportunity arises.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[SansSuit 1]

A teacher cautiously approaches the subject of sex education with her fourth grade class because she realizes Little Johnny's propensity for sexual innuendo. But Johnny remains attentive throughout the entire lecture.
Finally, towards the end of the lesson, the teacher asks for examples of sex education from the class.
One little boy raises his hand, "I saw a bird in her nest with some eggs."
"Very good, William," said the teacher.
"My mommy had a baby," said little Esther.
"Oh, that's nice," replied the teacher. Finally, little Johnny raises his hand. With much fear and trepidation, the teacher calls on him.
"I was watchin' TV yesterday, and I saw the Lone Ranger. He was surrounded by hundreds and hundreds of Indians. And they all attacked at one time. And he killed every one of them with his two guns."
The teacher was relieved but puzzled, "And what does that have to do with sex education, Johnny?"
" It'll teach those Indians not to fuck with the Lone Ranger."

---

Peace,
-Jeff.

Peace,
-Dawson.
http://www.SansSuit.com
The Society for the Advancement of Naked Skydiving