peregrinerose 0 #26 November 9, 2007 Even if it's 'just dating', your kids are still in the picture.... if 'just dating' turns into more, then the guy is has to deal with your kids. If the guy is looking for a long term relationship, why should he be obligated to accept the fact that you have children if a ready-made family isn't something he's interested in committing to? I see it as more respectful of both you and the kids for a guy to be straightforward with you on that point. He's not putting up any kind of front or pretending he's ok with something he just isn't. When I was dating, I tended to avoid guys that had kids. It wasn't a total deal breaker, but I also knew that I really wasn't interested in helping to raise someone else's children. It's not just about the kids, but with filling the shoes as 'step-parent', knowing that the kid's bio mom would have been in the picture as well, so I'd have to deal with that end of things. It's just a lot more baggage, even in the best of scenarios, than I wanted to invest in. Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pre7117 0 #27 November 9, 2007 If a women cant keep the first one, what makes her think anyone else would want her with her anchor.HELLFISH 429 POPS 11113 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #28 November 9, 2007 Well at least you know a woman with kids puts out Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #29 November 9, 2007 Quote Well at least you know a woman with kids puts out And probably can COOK! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #30 November 9, 2007 Quote If a women cant keep the first one, what makes her think anyone else would want her with her anchor. It wasnt a matter of me not being able to keep my first husband... we are both good people, but we just severly suck together. We came to terms with that after many years of stuggling to keep it together, now were on our way to a good friendship... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #31 November 9, 2007 Quote If a women cant keep the first one, what makes her think anyone else would want her with her anchor. From the same person who wrote: "In the past month I have met so many stupid people that have no comman sense its starting to really piss me off." Pot, kettle...She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #32 November 9, 2007 Quote Quote If a women cant keep the first one, what makes her think anyone else would want her with her anchor. From the same person who wrote: "In the past month I have met so many stupid people that have no comman sense its starting to really piss me off." Pot, kettle... Don't use "black" . . . cuase we'll get back into the race mixing thing again.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pre7117 0 #33 November 9, 2007 HELLFISH 429 POPS 11113 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #34 November 9, 2007 If I was single without kids I wouldn't date a guy with kids. He either knocked someone up or divorced someone. Either way, that means (to me) that he either sucks at relationships, or is a terrible judge of character and if I were single, no kids, looking to date someone neither of those situations is attractive at all. The only acception I'd make would be a widower. I know there are a lot of divorcees here with kids. I'm not bashing anyone, just saying that's how I would see it from a dating perspective, so I can understand a man not wanting to date a woman with kids.~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #35 November 9, 2007 Quote If I was single without kids I wouldn't date a guy with kids. He either knocked someone up or divorced someone. Either way, that means (to me) that he either sucks at relationships, or is a terrible judge of character and if I were single, no kids, looking to date someone neither of those situations is attractive at all. The only acception I'd make would be a widower. I know there are a lot of divorcees here with kids. I'm not bashing anyone, just saying that's how I would see it from a dating perspective, so I can understand a man not wanting to date a woman with kids. I don't fall into either of those groups... yes Im a mom, with 3 amazing kids. I don't look at men who have kids like that because I know there are many many reasons why marriages fail... mine, we had no business being together to begin with, but a night of passion made our daughter and we tried to do what we thought was the best thing and had 2 boys in that process. The guy Im seeing is also a great guy and divorced... I dont look at divorcee's as being flawed goods, just that they like many other people misjudged when they thought they were marrying the right person... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jonstark 8 #36 November 9, 2007 Tom Leykis 101 blowmeuptom.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #37 November 9, 2007 QuoteTom Leykis 101 blowmeuptom.com huh? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #38 November 9, 2007 Site has SexSearch ads along the bottom... "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #39 November 9, 2007 Quote Site has SexSearch ads along the bottom... ahhh.. thanks but no thanks... Im good in that dept... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #40 November 9, 2007 The only acception I'd make would be a widower. Quote I can see the trial now...and that your honor, is why I killed my wife. ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 37 #41 November 9, 2007 QuoteEither way, that means (to me) that he either sucks at relationships, or is a terrible judge of character You would decide that without even getting to know a person or find out the reason why he got divorced in the first place? That is so judgemental!She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TrophyHusband 0 #42 November 9, 2007 QuoteQuoteTom Leykis 101 blowmeuptom.com huh? you can listen to his show starting at 3:00pm pacific time streaming from his website if he isn't on a local radio station. give him a listen, he's hilarious. just don't take him too seriously or you'll get pissed. "Your scrotum is quite nice" - Skymama www.kjandmegan.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #43 November 9, 2007 QuoteQuoteEither way, that means (to me) that he either sucks at relationships, or is a terrible judge of character You would decide that without even getting to know a person or find out the reason why he got divorced in the first place? That is so judgemental! Sa - MACK . . . baby!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #44 November 9, 2007 Because my penis is only average size. Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #45 November 9, 2007 Quote Because my penis is only average size. Blues, Dave OMG U jack ass I just got that... that was so not funny and if you werent one of Turtle's friends I would have taken that the wrong way....Besides most moms do Keegals (including me) and thus we can accomodate for YOUR lack of endowment.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TheCaptain 2 #46 November 9, 2007 Most every relationship I have been in the woman has had children so I am really do not know how to answer for those men who run from it. Personally I love kids and it really never mattered to me if they were mine biologically. Just this year I adopted my step son. Being with a woman with kids brings an entire set of additional areas to make sure your compatible with. Such as ideals they will be raise with, discipline (along with that is how the woman feels about you stepping into this role), do they sleep with the mother. The discipline one was the biggest hurtles to get over and find someone that I could be compatible with. OH, yeah, at first when the overnighters happen you are always seen as the intruder to their world. This is a tuff hurtle to get over especially if the mother allows the children to sleep with her. Kirk Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #47 November 9, 2007 Quote Besides most moms do Keegals (including me) and thus we can accomodate for the lack of endowment.... DOH!I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ZigZagMarquis 9 #48 November 9, 2007 For what its worth... here's my 2 cents... and I can only speak for myself, I don't know all the reasons why other guys treat women with kids like they're an "STD". Anyway... me... single, never married, no kids... I've never felt as though I wanted to be a parent. Yes, I could see myself married, but kids... no thanks. So, taking from you said, you've got kids and yes, they have a dad, but if you do get involved with another man, wouldn't you also think (or want) him to act in a parenting role when around you and your children? I'm not saying "he's their new dad", they have a dad, but it wouldn't be reasonable for him to be "just your boyfriend" (or new husband)? Now this might be the case if your children are grown and don't need parenting, but if they're still young, how is it he could be around, be your S.O. and not be somewhat of a "parenting type role model supervisor care giver" (choose which words fit)? Now if this guy doesn't want to be a "parenting type role model supervisor care giver" to a young child, its doubtful a relationship between you and such a guy is ever going to work... other than maybe being a part-time once in awhile type thing... but it doesn't make him a bad guy, if he's honest (both with himself and you) about it. Its a tough thing though. I've certainly dated women with kids. Wouldn't date them if I wasn't attracted to them and I'd doubt they'd go out with me if there wasn't some feeling in return, but in the long run, it didn't fly, mostly because I'm not into being around kids, I guess that's not a good thing about me, but it is what it is. This may not apply to your situation... but also take into consideration that everyone's children are not little angels... some, quite a few ?, from broken homes have behavior "issues". That can be a lot more then some guys want to take on. Someone up-thread said "its baggage". Well, that term seems to bring up negative thoughts and meanings so folks like to brush it off as in "I don't have baggage... or my kids aren't baggage." Okay, well, yes and no. I've got several, now single, formerly married, friends with "baggage"... some of that is their kids and retroactive abortion is illegal (called murder) so you really cannot do anything about some of it... but I'm always amazed and confused why some folks don't do something about some of the "baggage" that they can do something about... like quit enabling their kids bad behavior... or telling the X to take a hike and actually finalizing the divorce other then just being "seperated" for the last several years... or turning the X in for real for not paying child support... but I digress... On the flip side, one thing I always found "weird" are those guys that are way into the women with kids... ya know... the "I want an instant family" type. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #49 November 9, 2007 Quote Quote Either way, that means (to me) that he either sucks at relationships, or is a terrible judge of character You would decide that without even getting to know a person or find out the reason why he got divorced in the first place? That is so judgemental! No need to get all pissy. Feel free to do whatever the hell you want. My mom divorced before she met my dad. I don't love her any less. She's proof that a person can have a successful marriage after a divorce. Doesn't mean I'd do the same.~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos340 1 #50 November 9, 2007 Quote If I was single without kids I wouldn't date a guy with kids. He either knocked someone up or divorced someone. Knocked someone up?? Guilty here. Best mistake I ever made. Sure did. I was poking for fun and she and took me serious.Seriously.. Kids are NOT an STD. We all make mistakes and sometimes those mistakes make our lives so much better. Not all Single parent relationships are bad either. Me and my daughter’s mother were no longer dating when I the "Im Late" phone call. A Couple dead rabbits later and I thought my Life was over. No, It was just starting. 16 years later and we are still friends. Any woman that would not want to date me just because I have a daughter can Kiss my ass. I would not want to be with someone that narrow-minded to begin with. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
