mamajumps 0 #1 November 9, 2007 Why do most men avoid the situation like the kids are some terminal communicable disease? Im a very proud mom, and I make it known up front that I have kids, I also make it known that they have a dad...(DUH). However, 90% of the men I know wont even entertain the idea of dating someone with kids. Why is this? thanks for the insight! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TrophyHusband 0 #2 November 9, 2007 when i was single, i avoided women with children. it's just a whole lot of extra stuff that most single guys just aren't interested in. "Your scrotum is quite nice" - Skymama www.kjandmegan.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #3 November 9, 2007 It's baggage. Why date someone with kids when there are tons of other women who don't have kids that you have to deal with? And I don't mean that in a bad way (I have a kid myself), but really, that's why. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #4 November 9, 2007 Quotewhen i was single, i avoided women with children. it's just a whole lot of extra stuff that most single guys just aren't interested in. Right I understand that, however, I do not take my kids around anyone Im dating and they never have to "deal" with it... I have pretty much decided Im staying "single" for all intensive purposes for the next 13 years... Its just not worth the headache... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airdvr 210 #5 November 9, 2007 It brings up alot of questions for guys. 1. How old are they? 2. Do they require alot of supervision? (kinda goes with #1) 3. What type of relationship do they have with their dad? 4. Are we going to have to sneak around them or are they OK with mom seeing men other than their dad? 5. Is dad the jealous type? 6. Will we have time to ourselves or will the little ankle biters be constantly in tow? 7. How much are you going to want him involved in their lives? I have kids too. They don't live with me but they can be an issue for anyone I want to see also. If the guy you're seeing or wants to see doesn't have his own nosepickers I'd stay away unless he thinks he can handle it. And even then he might think he can do it only to find out later...Please don't dent the planet. Destinations by Roxanne Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Conundrum 1 #6 November 9, 2007 Quote Quote when i was single, i avoided women with children. it's just a whole lot of extra stuff that most single guys just aren't interested in. Right I understand that, however, I do not take my kids around anyone Im dating and they never have to "deal" with it... I have pretty much decided Im staying "single" for all intensive purposes for the next 13 years... Its just not worth the headache... Good for you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #7 November 9, 2007 QuoteQuotewhen i was single, i avoided women with children. it's just a whole lot of extra stuff that most single guys just aren't interested in. Right I understand that, however, I do not take my kids around anyone Im dating and they never have to "deal" with it... I have pretty much decided Im staying "single" for all intensive purposes for the next 13 years... Its just not worth the headache... You never know when you might run into a nice guy that has a kid of his own. Don't have to go looking for one, if it happens it happens."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NtheSeaOrSky 0 #8 November 9, 2007 Quote Quote when i was single, i avoided women with children. it's just a whole lot of extra stuff that most single guys just aren't interested in. Right I understand that, however, I do not take my kids around anyone Im dating and they never have to "deal" with it... I have pretty much decided Im staying "single" for all intensive purposes for the next 13 years... Its just not worth the headache... you may not take the kids with you on the dates...but honestly think about it....your plans are tied to them....what if they get sick, finding sitters (depending on ages)...cant go out tonight lil josey has a play at school...your time, your energy will go to your kids first (as it should be) so the person you date will be affected by it indirectly as well. It is not necessarily a bad thing, but finding someone who is ready for that will be much better for everyone involved Life is not fair and there are no guarantees... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #9 November 9, 2007 Quote It brings up alot of questions for guys. 1. How old are they? 2. Do they require alot of supervision? (kinda goes with #1) 3. What type of relationship do they have with their dad? 4. Are we going to have to sneak around them or are they OK with mom seeing men other than their dad? 5. Is dad the jealous type? 6. Will we have time to ourselves or will the little ankle biters be constantly in tow? 7. How much are you going to want him involved in their lives? 1. They are not small children, all in school 2. Very respectful well mannered kids, not a lot of supervision needed. 3. Dad is in another state, but they talk to him regularly and see him a few times a year (for extended periods) 4. I don't introduce my kids to who im dating until Im sure he's not psycho. Even then they are not included on our dates. I have an awesome baby sitter who keeps them at my house. 5. dad is not jealous 6. see #4. The guy im seeing now, comes over after they go to bed. Once I know he or anyone else is gonna be around for awhile, I will introduce my kids to him, I don't think its good for them to met several people. 7. I dont want him involved in their lives at all until if and when we ever get to the point of living together and that will take a really long time. Good questions, thanks for putting them out there. The guy I am "seeing" has a kid. But yet he is still a bit weired out by the fact that I have kids... We have been seeing each other for 3 months and we just met each others kid(s). I thought it was great, but he was weirded out by it.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TrophyHusband 0 #10 November 9, 2007 even though men don't directly deal with your children, they still deal with them. you always go out because of the kids. you can't stay out late because you have to pick them up from the babysitter. you can't go away for the weekend because you have to worry about child care. you have a squabble with the faqther and your new man has to hear about it. if a man has children of his own, he may be more understanding, but if he doesn't have any, these are the things he just does want to put up with. i have two kids and one on the way. if my wife were to fire me, i still would likely date women with no children. i may date women who's kids are grown and out of the house, but most likely it would be childless 18 year olds. "Your scrotum is quite nice" - Skymama www.kjandmegan.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
IanHarrop 43 #11 November 9, 2007 I have no problem with women with kids... I am dating one right now. Just glad they're grown up and out of the house. Dating in your 50's is great !!"Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" Dorothy Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #12 November 9, 2007 Does Turtle know you're seeing someone else? TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #13 November 9, 2007 QuoteQuote you can't stay out late because you have to pick them up from the babysitter. My babysitter is in her 50's and doesnt give me a curfew, she is keeping them this weekend so I can go to the Hog Flop Quote you have a squabble with the faqther and your new man has to hear about it. But if your friends with the person your seeing, isnt it a plus if they are interested and there for you in all aspects of your life? Good and bad, if not then he is just a booty call in my book Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #14 November 9, 2007 Quote Does Turtle know you're seeing someone else? WHAT?THAT Two timing little - oh - wait . . . Yeah - I did - and encourage it.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
countzero 7 #15 November 9, 2007 i'm currently not ready for the responsability of having my own children, much less dating into a ready made family. therefore i don't date women with children.diamonds are a dawgs best friend Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #16 November 9, 2007 Quotei'm currently not ready for the responsability of having my own children, much less dating into a ready made family. therefore i don't date women with children. Right, I understand and respect that, but if your just dating, what responsibilty? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos340 1 #17 November 9, 2007 A Woman with Kids?? Worthless!! Same for any female over 25 years old. After that they serve no purpose at all. They are all just out ring hunting. that and they get all mouthy and stuff. Too hard to get them make you a descent sammich and half the time they dont even open your beer for you when they bring it to you. Got to em Young and Dumb while they are still firm and fresh. (well you started the Stereo-type game by saying we are all the same... Your 90% is way high girl. The right guy wont care at all if you have kids.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #18 November 9, 2007 Quote A Woman with Kids?? Worthless!! Same for any female over 25 years old. After that they serve no purpose at all. They are all just out ring hunting. that and they get all mouthy and stuff. Too hard to get them make you a descent sammich and half the time they dont even open your beer for you when they bring it to you. Got to em Young and Dumb while they are still firm and fresh. (well you started the Stereo-type game by saying we are all the same... Your 90% is way high girl. The right guy wont care at all if you have kids.) Thanks J... Your right I guess (yes I did just admit that publicly...) My percentage was a bit high, im just bummed right now. My kids are such an amazing part of me and who I am as a person. I just don't understand what the big deal is.... they are not a factor in my dating life at all.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TrophyHusband 0 #19 November 9, 2007 QuoteQuoteQuote you can't stay out late because you have to pick them up from the babysitter. My babysitter is in her 50's and doesnt give me a curfew, she is keeping them this weekend so I can go to the Hog Flop Quote you have a squabble with the faqther and your new man has to hear about it. But if your friends with the person your seeing, isnt it a plus if they are interested and there for you in all aspects of your life? Good and bad, if not then he is just a booty call in my book sure its a plus, but we're not talking about the men who don't have a problem with kids, we're talking about the ones who do and why. "Your scrotum is quite nice" - Skymama www.kjandmegan.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Thanatos340 1 #20 November 9, 2007 Quote Thanks J... Your right I guess (yes I did just admit that publicly...) My percentage was a bit high, im just bummed right now. My kids are such an amazing part of me and who I am as a person. I just don't understand what the big deal is.... they are not a factor in my dating life at all.... Look at it this way.. Right now they are protecting YOU. keeping you away from some guys that you wouldnt want to be with anyway. Oh.. And I am ALWAYS Right. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #21 November 9, 2007 Quote Quote Thanks J... Your right I guess (yes I did just admit that publicly...) My percentage was a bit high, im just bummed right now. My kids are such an amazing part of me and who I am as a person. I just don't understand what the big deal is.... they are not a factor in my dating life at all.... Look at it this way.. Right now they are protecting YOU. keeping you away from some guys that you wouldnt want to be with anyway. Oh.. And I am ALWAYS Right. Damn J your so wise in your old age..... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JackC 0 #22 November 9, 2007 QuoteRight, I understand and respect that, but if your just dating, what responsibilty? One thing I've found out about things that have "no strings attached" is that there are always strings attached. Even if those strings are just the suspicion that strings will be attached later. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #23 November 9, 2007 Quote Quote Does Turtle know you're seeing someone else? WHAT?THAT Two timing little - oh - wait . . . Yeah - I did - and encourage it. This harem is taking on some interesting new characteristics. Perhaps it should become sort of a commune instead, if mamajumps is already bringing someone else into it. All I know for sure is that there won't be any kids around for the first three months or so. TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #24 November 9, 2007 Look at it this way.. Right now they are protecting YOU. keeping you away from some guys that you wouldnt want to be with anyway. Quote Yup! Some 'boys' aren't only afraid of the strings, but can't take not being the full time center of attention from a woman. I never had a problem dating moms because they were invariably more mature, goal oriented, and stable. Not to mention them not being only focused on the 'bling' is a plus. If ya find a woman that's taking good care of her kids, it's a given she'll take good care of you too! It's kind of a double edged sword, the 'boys' that 'run' from a single mother are actually doing her a favor as you said... ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #25 November 9, 2007 Quote Look at it this way.. Right now they are protecting YOU. keeping you away from some guys that you wouldnt want to be with anyway. Quote Yup! Some 'boys' aren't only afraid of the strings, but can't take not being the full time center of attention from a woman. I never had a problem dating moms because they were invariably more mature, goal oriented, and stable. Not to mention them not being only focused on the 'bling' is a plus. If ya find a woman that's taking good care of her kids, it's a given she'll take good care of you too! It's kind of a double edged sword, the 'boys' that 'run' from a single mother are actually doing her a favor as you said... Wow thats an awesome way to look at it. Yes I am very goal oriented, and when Im with someone I care about, he knows it. I was raised to have the mentality that a woman takes care of her man. I don't extend this to hardly anyone, but my ex husband can tell you that I am one of a kind.... in a good way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
