Bolas 5 #1 December 12, 2007 Man Law We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note… these are all numbered '1 ' ON PURPOSE! 1. Men are NOT mind readers. 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down. 1. Crying is blackmail. 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it! 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question. 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for. 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days. 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one. 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself. Addendum - "Advice" may be given during sex. 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials. 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is. 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that. 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say 'nothing,' We will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle. 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear. 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really. Addendum - The nicer you look, the hornier you're likely to make us. 1. You have enough clothes. Addendum: More sexy lingere is allowed. 1. You have too many shoes. Addendum: Shoes with a 4 inch or higher heel are exempt from this. 1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape! 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ChrisL 2 #2 December 12, 2007 I don't think theres a number large enough to represent how many times this has been previously posted Edited to add: But its still funny __ My mighty steed Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #3 December 12, 2007 It is one of those posts that need repeating, to keep the women in line. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #4 December 12, 2007 Quote It is one of those posts that need repeating, to keep the women in line. There's a line at the sink now?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiver88 0 #5 December 12, 2007 this is amazing it need to be a religion hell yes!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #6 December 12, 2007 Preach it, brother! Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #7 December 12, 2007 Quote 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. Yep. But didn't he believe he had reached India? Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #8 December 12, 2007 Quote Quote 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. Yep. But didn't he believe he had reached India? See! ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #9 December 13, 2007 QuoteThere's a line at the sink now? There's a line of women waiting to blow you. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SpeedRacer 1 #10 December 13, 2007 Quote Quote Quote 1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we. Yep. But didn't he believe he had reached India? See! one of who? Indians? Speed Racer -------------------------------------------------- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #11 December 14, 2007 Quote It is one of those posts that need repeating, to keep the women in line. I was waiting for you to post it, but you slacked. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DFWAJG 4 #12 December 14, 2007 Quote Addendum - "Advice" may be given during sex. In my experience, men never take advice during sex. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sartre 0 #13 December 14, 2007 Quote It is one of those posts that need repeating, to keep the women in line. How's that keeping women in line thing working for ya? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sartre 0 #14 December 14, 2007 Quote Quote Addendum - "Advice" may be given during sex. In my experience, men never take advice during sex. It only takes one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #15 December 14, 2007 Quote Quote Addendum - "Advice" may be given during sex. In my experience, men never take advice during sex. Maybe direction would be a better word? "To the left" "Down lower" "Pinch it" Do you take advice during sex?Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #16 December 14, 2007 There's really only one thing women need to know about men (OK, maybe 2) and most of us already know it. Boys are stupid! And all men are really just boys. There is no need to keep re-posting this nonsense unless it makes YOU feel better- we don't need any extra reminders of your limitations! And when we post our "rules", we're really just trying to help. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DFWAJG 4 #17 December 16, 2007 Quote Quote Quote Addendum - "Advice" may be given during sex. In my experience, men never take advice during sex. Maybe direction would be a better word? "To the left" "Down lower" "Pinch it" Do you take advice during sex? Suck here, kiss there. I'm very direct. No, men can't ask for directions and don't take them when you offer. And yes, I take advice during, before and after sex. I ask, "What do you like, what do you want me to do", etc. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,488 #18 December 16, 2007 Quote No, men can't ask for directions and don't take them when you offer. You know the difference between a woman giving directions and a Garmin? You can turn the Garmin off. Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kbordson 8 #19 December 16, 2007 Quote Quote No, men can't ask for directions and don't take them when you offer. You know the difference between a woman giving directions and a Garmin? You can turn the Garmin off. Trust me... not listing to the directions will turn us off too. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,488 #20 December 16, 2007 Quote not listing to the directions will turn us off too. Yeah... been down that road (pun intended). Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #21 December 17, 2007 Quote There's really only one thing women need to know about men (OK, maybe 2) and most of us already know it. Boys are stupid! And all men are really just boys. There is no need to keep re-posting this nonsense unless it makes YOU feel better- we don't need any extra reminders of your limitations! And when we post our "rules", we're really just trying to help. I prefer the term clueless to stupid. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #22 December 17, 2007 QuoteQuoteThere's a line at the sink now? There's a line of women waiting to blow you. Are you at the "Head" of the line?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #23 December 17, 2007 Quote Quote Quote Quote Addendum - "Advice" may be given during sex. In my experience, men never take advice during sex. Maybe direction would be a better word? "To the left" "Down lower" "Pinch it" Do you take advice during sex? Suck here, kiss there. I'm very direct. No, men can't ask for directions and don't take them when you offer. And yes, I take advice during, before and after sex. I ask, "What do you like, what do you want me to do", etc. Wow. That is direct. Of course that sounds more like you're telling them what to do versus asking and taking some of the spontaneity and surprise out. Maybe they'll find a new "button" you didn't know you had. I mean if they're not doing anything for you, help em out. Unless it's a quickie, why rush things? Me, I'd rather enjoy the feeling and prolong things versus speed them up. Let 'em try new things. Bolas "Enjoys the journey, not just the destination" Rodriguez.Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #24 December 18, 2007 OK, "Clueless" then. That works for me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
