hooked 0 #1 August 21, 2002 A woman police officer pulled over a man for DUI and said, "You are under arrest. Anything you say, can and will be held against you". The drunk replied, "Tits". J -------------------------------------- Sometimes we're just being Humans.....But we're always Human Beings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #2 August 21, 2002 Good one, but around here we call them "BOOBIES". _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hooked 0 #3 August 21, 2002 You know....I thought about changing that word when I was typing it in, and for some reason....I just left the joke as I received it J -------------------------------------- Sometimes we're just being Humans.....But we're always Human Beings. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #4 August 21, 2002 I bet it was Clay. _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkydiveMonkey 0 #5 August 21, 2002 Anything you say will be taken down. Knickers !! ____________________ Say no to subliminal messages Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #6 August 21, 2002 QuoteI bet it was Clay. I haven't EVER been pulled over by a female. DAMMITT....... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFXpert 0 #7 August 21, 2002 I have, on my 8th time getting pulled over AND SHE GAVE ME MY FIRST TICKET, DAMNIT! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #8 August 21, 2002 Its gonna be funny when you pulled over by a female state trooper on the way home from work today, isn't it? --"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #9 August 21, 2002 QuoteIts gonna be funny when you pulled over by a female state trooper on the way home from work today, isn't it? Lord let her be HOT and kinky...... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #10 August 21, 2002 She'll probably be HOT and sweaty, kinky and about 280lbs...--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #11 August 21, 2002 QuoteShe'll probably be HOT and sweaty, kinky and about 280lbs... Well isn't that Clay's type? Well actually that would be one fat sheep! _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freeflir29 0 #12 August 21, 2002 QuoteWell isn't that Clay's type? Nope that breaks Clay's rule of dating #1: Never date a woman that weighs more than you. Lately thats about 182Lbs. Actual limit is probably closer to 140 but........ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Muenkel 0 #13 August 21, 2002 QuoteNope that breaks Clay's rule of dating #1: Never date a woman that weighs more than you. Lately thats about 182Lbs. Amen Brother. However, my choices are more limited. Only 155 here. _________________________________________ Chris Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pop 0 #14 August 21, 2002 QuoteNever date a woman that weighs more than you. Man, thats wrong. Beauty is on the inside, not the outside. Just kidding. When I meet a person I dont see inside of them.7 ounce wonders, music and dogs that are not into beer Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kingbunky 3 #15 August 21, 2002 Uncle George spots a nice looking gal in a bar goes up and starts small talk. Seeing that she doesn't back off he asks her name. "Carmen," she replies. "That's a nice name," he says, warming up the conversation. "Who named you, your mother?" "No, I named myself," she answers. "Oh, that's interesting, why Carmen?" "Because I like cars, and I like men," she says, looking directly into his eyes. "What's your name?" "Beerfuck." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ This guy walks into a pub and half his head is a big orange. He says: 'I'll have a pint of lager, please.' And the barman says: 'Excuse me, I couldn't help noticing, but half your head appears to be a big orange.' And the boy goes: 'Yeah, had that for a while now.' So the barman says: 'How did that come about, if you don't mind me asking?' And the boy says: 'I was in this old junk shop when I found a lamp and when I gave it a rub this genie appeared. He offered me the standard three wishes, and I said: 'For my first wish, I'd like every woman I ever meet to fall madly in love with me.' So the genie waves his genie hands and suddenly there's women looking at me. Then the genie says: 'What will your second wish be?' I said: 'I'd like a wallet with £1million in it, and I can never lose it, it can't be destroyed, and every time I spend any of the money, it'll be replenished.' And the genie says: 'Your wish is granted. Now, what will your third wish be?' So I said: 'For my third wish, I'd like half my head to be a big orange.'"Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart." MB4252 TDS699 killing threads since 2001 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SatchFan 0 #16 August 21, 2002 Hey, fat women need lovin' too. Besides, they give the best hummers. They have to or you leave em'. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #17 January 2, 2008 A woman's husband dies. He had $30,000 to his name. After everything is done at the funeral home and cemetery, she tells her closest friend that there is none of the $30,000 left. "How can that be?" "Well, the funeral cost me $6,500. I made a $500 donation to the church and I spent another $500 for the wake. The rest went for the memorial stone." "It was $22,500 for the memorial stone? My God, how big is it?" "Three carats." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
