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Broke

To all the guys getting engaged

By Broke, in The Bonfire

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sartre    0

sartre
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Well I just have to treat my next woman like crap, and they will hang in there a lot longer trying to get things to work



Come on, you. You can't possibly think that you did nothing to contribute to the demise of any of your ex- relationships. (Notice I didn't say "failed'?) If she was posting that she was bored with you, perhaps you did the classic male thing, and stopped paying attention once you'd finished the pursuit.

It's never all one person's fault. We all make choices, we all make contributions to a relationship; and sometimes, like it or not, two people just aren't going to be able to be happy together. I think it's a big mistake to not try and take a good hard look at the role you have played in the demise of your relationships. How else to grow and hopefully choose more successfully next time? (Or realize that marriage just is never going to be the thing for you).

It's not that marriage doesn't work. It just doesn't work for everybody. Some of us take a little longer to come to that realization.[:/]

Doesn't mean love isn't in the cards; it just may be more successful with non-traditional approaches.

I for one congratulate all those newly engaged couples, as well as those hard working couples that have managed to keep it together (happily, mind you) for many years. I envy you that.:)

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sunshine    2

sunshine
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Ok, so let's say you had to choose between Hillary Clinton and



Ok, lets say he had to choose between doing hillary or cleaning up the icky mess he left in someone's refrigerator....

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

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shermanator    4

shermanator
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SUCKERS!!!



thank you, for confirming what I already knew!!! shoot, the moment I asked her to marry me, i pretty much ended my own life, ... give her a ring.. no, i should have given her some gardening sheers, and a platter... since marriage is just serving her my balls on a silver platter anyways! hahaha. :D:D
CLICK HERE! new blog posted 9/21/08
CSA #720

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ACMESkydiver    0

ACMESkydiver

This quiz is a few years old, but hey it might help someone:


Are you Ready for Marriage?

1. What are your goals in regards to marriage? (Spiritual, tax purposes, etc.)

2. What are your spiritual beliefs?

3. Do you want children? How many? In what time frame?

4. How do you manage your finances?

5. How do you manage stress?

6. What are your ultimate goals in life?

7. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? 10 years? 20 years?

8. Place these items, listed in alphabetical order, in order according to your priorities:
Career
Children
Mom/Dad/Brothers/Sisters
Spiritual beliefs
Spouse
Social Commitments

9. Is there anything that will come before your spouse? (i.e. spiritual, hobbies, job)

10. How do you intend to resolve marital conflict?

11. Who will you seek guidance from re: being a good husband/wife? Do you have wise counsel already set up (i.e. parents with a successful marriage? Friends with a successful marriage?)

12. What are your 'non-negotiables' (in other words, what would break the marriage vows)?

13. How will your in-laws fit into your new marriage? What will you allow, what will you allow for a time, what will you not allow? With regards to this, consider the following:

An in-law wants to move in with you?

An in-law giving advice on your marriage?

An in-law needing to borrow money?

An in-law giving advice about raising children?

Holidays with in-laws?

You ask to borrow money from an in-law?

14. What are your vows to your future spouse?

15. Should you require marriage counseling, who will you seek it from? Will you agree to counseling if your spouse asks for it, even if you don’t see the need for it?

16. How will you continue to improve your marriage? (i.e., marriage books, seminars, retreats, etc)

17. If you entered a burning building, and found your new husband/wife, and someone for whom you have deep love and respect (i.e., your mother or your father) and only had time to rescue one person, would it be your husband/wife? If not, you may want to think about why not.


Answer these questions privately, then compare. Discuss. Be open. Be honest.

Your answers to the above questions are vital. If you and your intended differ on the above,and cannot find an accord that you can truly live with for the rest of your life (and ‘I can change his/her mind’ or ‘I’ll grow to change’ are not acceptable), then you aren’t looking for a marriage. You’re looking for a ‘license to lust’. They don’t exist. Be patient and allow yourselves to develop as individuals without the responsibility of a marriage –or get an attorney, get a prenuptial agreement, and get a good form of birth control.

If your quizzes match up, and you feel ready, go get that marriage license! Marriage licenses are located at the top of Mt. Everest. Each individual must be present with photo ID. Happy climbing. B|


Joe and I had to go through something similar prior to getting married, both for the army and for the church. I'm not saying that it's a magic formula for success, but I will say that if you don't know the answers to those questions, you have a higher chance of being in the now 80% divorce rate in the US. That mountain climbing statement isn't meant to discourage; it was meant to bestow the seriousness of the responsibility of the union.

My grandmother (successful marriage for 50+ years)told my mother #17 during her engagement to dad. My mother (successful marriage 35+ years and still going!) told me that if I ever had a marital spat that I would never be allowed to hide out at mommy's house. I'm thankful for having two of the best role models ever.

I'm not the most intelligent woman. I'm not the wealthiest, the most talented, or the most well-liked -but this one thing I can say -Though we're far from perfect, my husband and I have the best marriage I have ever seen in 15 years. We have taken wise counsel, and we knew those answers and were committed.

Anyway, hope it helps. It brings a tear to my eye to see people that have been married for 20, 30, and 50+ years smiling at each other and holding hands. I want to give them a hug and get their autographs -those are true heroes.
~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

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