Lindercles 0 #26 January 10, 2008 Quote She really over-reacts whenever she catches me wearing her underwear. o_O Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lawrocket 3 #27 January 10, 2008 Quote True story: Trash day. I take the bin out to the curb and start to walk back. She comes out with a frown on her face and, saying nothing, turns the bin around 180 degrees. Huh??? Much to my regret, I said something. I said, "What was that all about?" That lit the match and the explosion happened in milliseconds. She started with, "The bin is supposed to go THAT way not YOUR way." She ended with, "Don't you tell ME what to get pissed off about, asshole!" I got in the car with my son and went to the park. "The white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone." "The red zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone." "No, the white zone is for immediate loading and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone." "The red zone has always been for immediate loading and unloading of passengers onlyand there is never stopping in the white zone." "Don't tell me which zone is for stopping and which zone is for loading." "Listen Betty, don't start up with your white zone shit again." "Oh really, Vernon, why pretend, we both know perfectly well what it is you're talking about. You want me to have an abortion." "Its really the only sensible thing to do. If its done properly, therapeutically, there's no danger involved." My wife is hotter than your wife. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #28 January 10, 2008 Quote Arguments. There are many arguments we have over arguments. 'Who started argument x', for example, is a old favourite that has not had its vigour dimmed by age nor its edge blunted through use. Another dependable companion is, 'I'm not arguing, I'm just talking - you're arguing,' along with its more stage-struck (in the sense that it relishes an audience - parties, visiting relatives, Parent's Evenings at school, in shops, etc.) sibling, 'Right, so we're going to get into this argument here are we?' An especially frequent argument argument, however, is the result of Margret NOT STICKING TO THE DAMN ARGUMENT, FOR CHRIST'S SAKE. Margret jack-knifes from argument to argument, jigs direction randomly and erratically like a shoal of Argument Fish being followed by a Truth Shark. It's fearsomely difficult to land a blow because by the time you've let fly with the logic she's not there anymore. A row about vacuuming gets shifted to the cost of a computer upgrade, from there to who got up early with the kids most this week and then to the greater interest rates of German banks via the noisome sexual keenness of some former girlfriend, those-are-hair-scissors-don't-use-them-for-paper and, 'When was the last time you bought me flowers?' all in the space of about seven exchanges. 'Arrrrrrgggh! What are we arguing about? Can you just decide what it is and stick to it?' Brilliant. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baksteen 84 #29 January 10, 2008 I seen something similar: Girl I was...dating, had two cats who apparently were lord and master of the appartment. Not the TV, but the scratching pole was the central piece of furniture there. We'd been seeing each other for a while, byt he way, but this was the first time I went over to her place. The thing that disgusted me was not so much the kitchen counter being quite invisible under the dirty dishes, but the fact that she took one of her clean plates, proceeded to spoon cat food on it, and as soon as the cats were done feeding, she rinsed both plate and spoon off, dried them, and put them back between the clean dishes! That was when I decided to go away as far as I could, as fast as I could. I hope she'll never get pregnant...."That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport." ~mom Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #30 January 10, 2008 Quote She held out a huge meatball and let the dog take a bite and then proceeded to continue eating the fucking meatball!!. Couldn't kiss her after that and broke up soon after. You can probably remember that the dog was licking its brown spot about 5 minutes before that also. Sequence - 1- dog licks butt. 2- woman lets dog lick her face. 3- woman wants to hug man and rub dog feces on his face. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #31 January 10, 2008 The whole dishwashing thing is the convergence of two rules that I have. Major-minor. People should give a minor amount of focus to minor things and major amounts to the major items. The 60-day rule. For the first 60 days, people are still sorting out the "underlying value" of the relationship. They will put up with all kinds of irritating crap to wait and see if there is some great reason to continue. (Usually the sex is better during this period) After 60 days, they tire of being nice and now seek to gain some behavioral change. Addressing the irritations. After 120 days, everything is irritating and the major-minor rule is violated. No "imperfection" is overlooked. A person who expects their SO to lay down their life for them, will also scream that they put the milk on the wrong side of the refrigerator. My relationships are usually 4-6 days. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
McDuck 0 #32 January 10, 2008 Quote A person who expects their SO to lay down their life for them, will also scream that they put the milk on the wrong side of the refrigerator. My relationships are usually 4-6 days. BWAHAHAHAHAHA! I ALWAYS get the best laughs from brutal honesty. Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28 "I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #33 January 11, 2008 Quote ...Although, he likes to talk when I'm watching the ONE show I like to watch during the week. I have to continually ask him to SHUT UP. But in a nice way. You got Brandon to Shut Up? I call BS. Nobody is going to believe that...NOBODY. Oh wait...I notice you used the phrase, "continually ask him"...so...nevermind. My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 9 #34 January 11, 2008 Let's see; I think i got a few of them... - In Eloy, when I was competing at Collegiate's, I told her I may not be able to answer the phone between rounds. She calls when I'm on a load, I don't answer, shit hits the fan. - Whether Math and Science are just as important as reading and Literature. (I think they are, but she'll argue you to the death that they arn't that big of a deal) and she wants to be a teacher.. -=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #35 January 11, 2008 That's some of the funniest shit I've read in a long time. I read that entire site. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Richards 0 #36 January 11, 2008 Quote Girl I was...dating, had two cats who apparently were lord and master of the appartment. The story should have ended there. She was a cat woman. Didn't you know to run? My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Richards 0 #37 January 11, 2008 Quote Quote ***She held out a huge meatball and let the dog take a bite and then proceeded to continue eating the fucking meatball!!. Couldn't kiss her after that and broke up soon after. You can probably remember that the dog was licking its brown spot about 5 minutes before that also. Sequence - 1- dog licks butt. 2- woman lets dog lick her face. 3- woman wants to hug man and rub dog feces on his face. I don't specifically recall where the dogs mouth was before that ( do not wish to speculate). I simply recall how awkward it was finding reasons not to kiss her for the rest of the evening even though her parents were there and were looking at me like I was a freak for not even giving her a light kiss when she cuddled up and tried to kiss me. I am also a pathetic wimp when it comes to being the one doing the dumping (I hate being the bad guy) so I felt like a complete ass the next night when she was crying and asking "why? we seemed to get along so well" since I could not think of a tactfull way to tell her the truth. I know it makes me seem like a complete dink but for christs sake the damn thing probably drank out of the toilet, licked it's own ass and nuts...etc. I could not put my mouth on hers after that without throwing up . My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Baksteen 84 #38 January 11, 2008 No. I was suffering from a bad case of being the Worse for Drink. "That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport." ~mom Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
McDuck 0 #39 January 11, 2008 Quote That's some of the funniest shit I've read in a long time. I read that entire site. I thought you, of all people, might enjoy that. By the way, let me know when you decide to venture back our way. I've got a CD with your Secret Agent Man jump pics on it. Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28 "I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #40 January 11, 2008 Quote Quote That's some of the funniest shit I've read in a long time. I read that entire site. I thought you, of all people, might enjoy that. By the way, let me know when you decide to venture back our way. I've got a CD with your Secret Agent Man jump pics on it. I do need to try out that new windy jet thingy near you. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
McDuck 0 #41 January 11, 2008 Quote I do need to try out that new windy jet thingy near you. As far as I know, Turtle isn't going to be visiting this area in the near future on an all-bean diet. Kevin - Sonic Beef #5 - OrFun #28 "I never take myself too seriously, 'cuz everybody know fat birds don't fly." - FLC Online communities: proof that people never mature much past high school. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #42 January 11, 2008 Quote Quote I do need to try out that new windy jet thingy near you. As far as I know, Turtle isn't going to be visiting this area in the near future on an all-bean diet. What's wrong with your asshole?!?!?! Oh, he's fine. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VincentVL. 0 #43 January 11, 2008 Once my future wife broke up with me (well...empty threat I guess) because I hate shopping for clothes, got annoyed at the mall and didn't buy anything. Other than that: * me being lazy * me being too fat * me being drunk * me "neglecting" her * me being grumpy * me being hyper * me looking "like a bum" * me...well...me basically. I really love her!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
