Idiot Sightings

[BillyVance 35]

I don't know if these have been posted before but what the hell.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a "large" enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, "Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower." I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, "NO, it's not." Four is larger than two.." We haven't used Sears repair since.

IDIOT SIGHTING
My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, "you gave me too much money." I said, "Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back." She sighed and went to get the manager who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said Were sorry but they could not do that kind of thing." The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. Do not confuse the clerks at McD's.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: "Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore." From Kingman, KS.

IDIOT SIGHTING IN FOOD SERVICE:
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg lettuce. From Kansas City.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask." Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!" She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker.. She was leaving the company due to "downsizing." Our manager commented cheerfully, "This is fun. We should do this more often." Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare. This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Georgia County Sheriffs office, no less.

IDIOT SIGHTING:
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the drivers side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "its open!" His reply, "I know. I already got that side." This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, Mississippi .

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Bolas 5]

Snowboard Instructor to 1st time student: "This will be the hardest run you ever do?"
Student: "Then why do we have to do it first?"

Various skydivers at the tunnel, "I fly much better in the sky."

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[jceman 1]

True Idiot Sighting: We were at Cheeseburger! Cheesebuger! in Montgomery, Al; after my son and DIL ordered for their family and Lynn made her order I put mine in for a a burger with "No cheese". the response? "We don't have that kind of cheese!"

I swear it took me five minutes to get her to understand I didn't want cheese on my burger. Lynn was rolling on the floor she laughed sohard.

Faster horses, younger women, older whiskey, more money.

Why do they call it "Tourist Season" if we can't shoot them?

[livendive 8]

Quote

True Idiot Sighting: We were at Cheeseburger! Cheesebuger! in Montgomery, Al; after my son and DIL ordered for their family and Lynn made her order I put mine in for a a burger with "No cheese". the response? "We don't have that kind of cheese!"

I swear it took me five minutes to get her to understand I didn't want cheese on my burger. Lynn was rolling on the floor she laughed sohard.

To be fair, did you happen to notice the name of the establishment? I'd be careful, the cashier might be posting the same story in a similar thread on another forum.

Blues,
Dave

"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

[futuredivot 0]

maybe more importantly, did you see what location

You are only as strong as the prey you devour

[denete 3]

That reminds me of a story about a guy from Iowa. he checked into a hotel for the first time in his life and went up to his room. Soon after, he called the front desk. he said, "You've given me a room with not exit. How am I supposed to leave my room?" The front desk says, "Sir you are mistaken. Have you even looked for the door?" This guy says, "Well, there's one door that leads to the bathroom, there's a second door that goes into the closet, and there's a door I haven't tried, but it has a 'Do Not Disturb' sign on it.

[url "http://www.publicradio.org/applications/formbuilder/projects/joke_machine/joke_page.php"][url]

[NtheSeaOrSky 0]

Had a sighting tonight

there staring back in the mirror

Life is not fair and there are no guarantees...

[ACMESkydiver 0]

Someone I know was driving through Texas and passed a Church's Chicken. The reader board out front read, "12 piece chicken. $7.99. Dark only"

This sweet lil' thing exclaimed, "Dang it! I hate it when they do specials for a certain time of day."




Same gal was driving through Texas with her family (this was as they were moving from NY to Dallas). Watching pasture after pasture roll by, she said, "My! Look at all of the white horses!"

"Honey, those are cows."

"Oh!"



They came up to Washington state to visit us several years ago. We asked her if she wanted to take a trip with us to the Candian-Mexican border.

She smiled then paused for a moment...

-Then she said, "Hey...!"


She's not an idiot -she just saves her intelligence for important things. It's kinda cute.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.