windcatcher 0 #26 January 17, 2008 Ha, that's hilarious! I'll have to remember that one for future reference, though hopefully I won't have to! That sounds like a smart woman; unfortunately I think we have too many idiot parents in this country who just go along with what their KIDS want! Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piratemike 0 #27 January 17, 2008 QuoteGood for her!! Hopefully the son will learn a lesson, too. I'm sure he learned that gross overreactions are a acceptable way to act. Care about the child and not about what they do and youe child will be a good one. This is clearly a example of care about what the child does, and make myself bigger with the kids actions. This lady was doing it mostly for attention. If it was really about what is best for the kid she wouldn't have boasted about her actions in the add. My parents took a few things from me to punish me. But the didn't run around telling others about their actions. the point of their actions was to teach me a positive lesson, not that it's okay to broadcast your power to the world. Treating your kid to all of the public humiliation is going to have one of two effects: 1. The kid is really humiliated, and feels a lot more awful about it than he should, giving him a complex, etc. 2. He gets angry and takes it out on others when he has the opportunity to exact his will on others. After all, this behavior is the way he's been taught to act. I'm not saying it wasn't okay for her to take the car from the kid, I'm saying it was between her and the kid. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 9 #28 January 17, 2008 Quote I'm sure he learned that gross overreactions are a acceptable way to act. I respectfully disagree. The article made it very clear that when she purchased the car for her son, it was a part of the deal. You drink, you lose the car. The kid knew that before he even got in the driver's seat. With that deal in place, how was this an over reaction? He broke the rules, and having a car is not a right guaranteed to high school students...=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piratemike 0 #29 January 17, 2008 [email]QuoteQuote I'm sure he learned that gross overreactions are a acceptable way to act. I respectfully disagree. The article made it very clear that when she purchased the car for her son, it was a part of the deal. You drink, you lose the car. The kid knew that before he even got in the driver's seat. With that deal in place, how was this an over reaction? He broke the rules, and having a car is not a right guaranteed to high school students... I'm not saying that it wasn't okay for her to take the car. I'm saying it wasn't okay for her to boast about it. From my previous post: I'm not saying it wasn't okay for her to take the car from the kid, I'm saying it was between her and the kid. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Unstable 9 #30 January 17, 2008 QuoteI'm not saying that it wasn't okay for her to take the car. I'm saying it wasn't okay for her to boast about it. Oh, okay. I misunderstood your post and thought that you were saying selling the car was an over reaction. Yeah, I completely agree with you on that one. .=========Shaun ========== Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piratemike 0 #31 January 17, 2008 QuoteQuoteI'm not saying that it wasn't okay for her to take the car. I'm saying it wasn't okay for her to boast about it. Oh, okay. I misunderstood your post and thought that you were saying selling the car was an over reaction. Yeah, I completely agree with you on that one. . Ahh, well thanks for the agreement. Parents need to enforce their authority sometimes. And I like that we can have discussions on dz.com without degrading to slander quickly. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #32 January 17, 2008 Speaking of gross overreactions... Heaven forbid the kid learn that actions have consequences and learn a little self discipline. If the kid is that fragile that this ad is going to "give him a complex" or cause him to "act out", then he's probably already been seeing a shrink all through school, the poor delicate flower. Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piratemike 0 #33 January 17, 2008 Quote Heaven forbid the kid learn that actions have consequences and learn a little self discipline. So, your saying it's okay for the gril to broadcast to the world what she did? What good came of her doing that sort of thing? She already took the car from her child. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #34 January 17, 2008 QuoteQuote Heaven forbid the kid learn that actions have consequences and learn a little self discipline. So, your saying it's okay for the gril to broadcast to the world what she did? What good came of her doing that sort of thing? She already took the car from her child. What harm can you prove came from it? Do you really think that kid hasn't had worse at school? I'm sorry, but the idea of treating kids like some sort of hothouse flower that's going to wilt at the first sign of adversity or criticism isn't doing them any favors.Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
piratemike 0 #35 January 18, 2008 QuoteQuoteQuote Heaven forbid the kid learn that actions have consequences and learn a little self discipline. So, your saying it's okay for the gril to broadcast to the world what she did? What good came of her doing that sort of thing? She already took the car from her child. What harm can you prove came from it? Do you really think that kid hasn't had worse at school? I'm sorry, but the idea of treating kids like some sort of hothouse flower that's going to wilt at the first sign of adversity or criticism isn't doing them any favors. I don't remember the references to the exact psychological research papers that I used to study, but it comes down to this. Taking the car from the kid could be classified as discipline. Exposing her actions to the world opened up the door to the kid getting ridiculed by the world, by her, and by his peers. Revealing her actions to the world is thereby classified as punishment. Discipline and Punishment are to very different things. Official description of punishment/discipline http://cehd.umn.edu/ceed/publications/questionsaboutkids/discipline.htm See it comes down to the motivation of this mother. Her reaction is caused by her being very angry. She never stopped to think about what the problems really is. She's reacting with punishment. Not with actions to promote positive behavior in the future. Punishment might sometimes cause compliance, but will not cause rehabilitation. It's the same principal that keeps the recidivism rate in prisons up so high. To put it another way: What I'm getting at is that by making her actions public this lady is reacting in very spiteful sort of way. In that, she is showing her kid that this behavior is okay. If she keeps doing this, her son will start treating others the same way. Perhaps using the word “complex” in the context of the child's future behavior was to much. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFXpert 0 #36 January 18, 2008 I like psychology, too. But--yea I still think it's fucking hilarious. And I'm of the non-professional opinion that the boy will (and should) get the fuck over it. To put it simply, anyways. Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
