Blind date horror stories!!

[Jewels 0]

Well, since you asked. . . .

Let me generalize, so it's not taken as a PA. I'm talking about the general tone of your message--but I've seen it plenty of times online and in plenty of forums here. The message comes out as though people think it's okay to share an unfavorable or harsh opinion of someone or their actions and then staunchly back it up by stating something to the effect that "it's just me and my opinion, and I like being that way, so you have to live with it and in fact, you should admire me for it."

I think people should consider that this attitude expects people to accept someone else's determination of "what they are"--on the assumption that the person giving the opinion is the one who is qualified to make that determination in the first place. What about cutting people some slack, or knowing them well enough to judge before making that kind of determination? What about the old adage about, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?"

It's fine to have strong opinions about things and even to share and defend your opinions. On the other hand, it's a good idea to do some introspection and to have a realistic sense of where and how you fit into it all. Granted, it's not only the internet--it's Bonfire. I assume that there's more to you than the posts in this thread and so that's why I went out of my way to clarify that my comments aren't intended to accuse you, personally, of anything. On the other hand, I will say that when I hear someone start talking about being proud of their criticisms and how glad they are to back them up, I stop listening. In my eyes, that kind of message loses credibility--it doesn't win it.

Oh, and to the OP--I think it's great that you went through with the date without cutting it short and that you're thinking of giving it a shot! You don't have much to lose and then if it doesn't fly, it doesn't fly. At least there was a connection! I'm happy for you.

TPM Sister #102

[MrFreefall383 0]

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I think there's a little bit of confusion as to what's happening here. The weight challenged chick, as you so eloquently phrased it, was not the whore. She was an innocent victim of the malevolent nature of her friend, and my former g/f, who was... a whore.

No... I think he's following the story line, he's just trying to set you up by using both the "whore" term and "fat" to get you flamed by as many as possible.

Don't worry, most knew what you were saying.

And... it was nice of you to continue to go to the dance with the innocent bystander in that battle, I just wish that you could have gotten to actually know her as a person and not see her as a way to destroy your social standing... but as you said, in high school things can be different.

Hope your luck with women has changed.

Thank you, someone who isn't totally ready to toss me in the 7th circle of Hell.

Things are different in high school, and to this day I wish I had gotten to know her a little more, but the timing and circumstances were plain awful. She was a nice person though. If I met her now, I would definitely have gotten to know her.

And to answer your question, no, my luck with women has become worse. Believe it or not, I made a similar mistake a couple years later after meeting a certain girlfriend's parents, thought there was potential for her to end up that way, and broke up with her until I could resolve that in my head. Sadly she stopped talking to me shortly thereafter, and it seems more than 6 years later she's still pissed at me. I would be too, and that's why I still haven't really made peace with myself for that mistake. I just hope I never make a mistake that dumb ever again.

"If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

[Jewels 0]

[replyThings are different in high school, and to this day I wish I had gotten to know her a little more, but the timing and circumstances were plain awful. She was a nice person though. If I met her now, I would definitely have gotten to know her.

[MrFreefall383 0]

As you suggested, there is more to me than those posts.

As for my criticism of human nature, I wouldn't say I'm qualified to make statements about human nature, just that I do. I don't expect people to like me for it, I've given that up a long time ago, and I sure as hell don't expect anyone to admire me for it. But yes, I am who I am, my perspective is just that, my perspective. You don't have to live with it, you can question it all you want, but it is what it is.

Edit: Now back to the original point. That one hell of a blind date nightmare, or what?

"If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

[turtlespeed 226]

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I think people should consider that this attitude expects people to accept someone else's determination of "what they are"--on the assumption that the person giving the opinion is the one who is qualified to make that determination in the first place.

So - Popeye was the same way! And he was/is and American ICON!

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What about cutting people some slack,

Fuck em - They generally don't cut slack for anyone else.

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or knowing them well enough to judge before making that kind of determination? What about the old adage about, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?"

This is a forum - it would be pretty damn boring if we stuck to that rule.

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It's fine to have strong opinions about things and even to share and defend your opinions.

I'm so glad that you will let us have at least that.

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On the other hand,

Oops I spoke too soon.

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it's a good idea to do some introspection and to have a realistic sense of where and how you fit into it all. Granted, it's not only the internet--it's Bonfire. I assume that there's more to you than the posts in this thread and so that's why I went out of my way to clarify that my comments aren't intended to accuse you, personally, of anything. On the other hand, I will say that when I hear someone start talking about being proud of their criticisms and how glad they are to back them up, I stop listening. In my eyes, that kind of message loses credibility--it doesn't win it.

The Irony here is as thick as a Sanfrancisco Fog

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Oh, and to the OP--I think it's great that you went through with the date without cutting it short and that you're thinking of giving it a shot! You don't have much to lose and then if it doesn't fly, it doesn't fly. At least there was a connection! I'm happy for you.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[MrFreefall383 0]

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I think people should consider that this attitude expects people to accept someone else's determination of "what they are"--on the assumption that the person giving the opinion is the one who is qualified to make that determination in the first place.

So - Popeye was the same way! And he was/is and American ICON!

Quote

What about cutting people some slack,

Fuck em - They generally don't cut slack for anyone else.

Quote

or knowing them well enough to judge before making that kind of determination? What about the old adage about, "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all?"

This is a forum - it would be pretty damn boring if we stuck to that rule.

Quote

It's fine to have strong opinions about things and even to share and defend your opinions.

I'm so glad that you will let us have at least that.

Quote

On the other hand,

Oops I spoke too soon.

Quote

it's a good idea to do some introspection and to have a realistic sense of where and how you fit into it all. Granted, it's not only the internet--it's Bonfire. I assume that there's more to you than the posts in this thread and so that's why I went out of my way to clarify that my comments aren't intended to accuse you, personally, of anything. On the other hand, I will say that when I hear someone start talking about being proud of their criticisms and how glad they are to back them up, I stop listening. In my eyes, that kind of message loses credibility--it doesn't win it.

The Irony here is as thick as a Sanfrancisco Fog

Quote

Oh, and to the OP--I think it's great that you went through with the date without cutting it short and that you're thinking of giving it a shot! You don't have much to lose and then if it doesn't fly, it doesn't fly. At least there was a connection! I'm happy for you.

How did I know that was coming? Well stated.

"If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

[Jewels 0]

Nah, I agree. We all have to look through SOME kind of lens. I meant it when I said that my comments weren't necessarily directed at you; just that it seems to echo what others have said online in other ways. I think there's a softer place in between. We all make judgments about each other in one fashion or another. The issue is how we choose to express them.

TPM Sister #102

[MrFreefall383 0]

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Nah, I agree. We all have to look through SOME kind of lens. I meant it when I said that my comments weren't necessarily directed at you; just that it seems to echo what others have said online in other ways. I think there's a softer place in between. We all make judgments about each other in one fashion or another. The issue is how we choose to express them.

True enough.

"If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

[Jewels 0]

I knew it wasn't going to be pretty.

There's Bonfire chit chat and then there's "screw 'em!" It's kind of like internet road rage. I'm not in favor of it. It may be the internet and all, but people still take things very personally whether or not it's meant seriously. The gist of my message is, "play nicely."

Look, this is getting afield from the OP's main post anyway. If you (any "you") have a pressing need to let me know how wrong I am, feel free to send me a PM. I'm set up to receive them.

TPM Sister #102

[MrFreefall383 0]

But playing nicely takes all the fun out of it! It's like in football. You might see some good hits in the average game, but when you see an absolutely vicious hit that should probably result in broken bones, it's damn good TV, and you enjoy the hell out of it unless the guy does break something.

"If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

[Jewels 0]

LOL--I'm a huge hockey fan, but I still prefer the European style of play, which is faster and less physical.
(I'm not calling you a goon. I'll reserve that for when I really need it and I'm feeling like a rebel . . . or just when I feel the need to create some great TV. Yeah, okay, granted . . . it's the internet. I'll probably need more than the word "goon." )

BUT ENOUGH HIJACKING! I meant to behave.

Seriously, when's the next date?

TPM Sister #102

[MrFreefall383 0]

Ha, yeah, you'll definitely need more than "goon" on here.

As for the next date, there never was one. It was a setup, and a bad one for both of us. That's why it's a "blind date horror story."

"If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

[Jewels 0]

LOL--no, no, I meant the OP's next date!

Yeah, sometimes once is enough.

TPM Sister #102

[grannyinthesky 0]

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I'm sure that at this very moment there are legions of angry women who are forming a lynch mob and burning you in effigy.

"How dare that bastard refer to *any* woman as a whore?!!!"

"Can you believe that son of a bitch had the gall to mention that poor girl's weight as if it were the defining characteristic of her entire being?!!!"

"Let's lynch the fucker!!!!"

Be afraid. Be *very* afraid.

Walt

I'm impressed. There appears to be a pretty amazing side to you that doesn't often show. Be careful. You shine up that tarnished reputation you have worked so hard to acquire.

"safety first... and What the hell.....
safety second, Too!!! " ~~jmy

POPS #10490

[turtlespeed 226]

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I'm sure that at this very moment there are legions of angry women who are forming a lynch mob and burning you in effigy.

"How dare that bastard refer to *any* woman as a whore?!!!"

"Can you believe that son of a bitch had the gall to mention that poor girl's weight as if it were the defining characteristic of her entire being?!!!"

"Let's lynch the fucker!!!!"

Be afraid. Be *very* afraid.

Walt

I'm impressed. There appears to be a pretty amazing side to you that doesn't often show. Be careful. If You shine up that tarnished reputation you have worked so hard to acquire, I might just give you some pity sex.

Fixed it for ya - you had some typos.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[MrFreefall383 0]

Once is enough more often than you'd think. And yes, I want to know when the next date is too. That way I can live vicariously through a dz.commer.

"If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

[waltappel 1]

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I'm impressed. There appears to be a pretty amazing side to you that doesn't often show. Be careful. You shine up that tarnished reputation you have worked so hard to acquire.

I've been trying to think of ways to clean up my reputation. My latest idea is to give out t-shirt to women that read, "I had sex with Walt and didn't get an STD!"

Walt

[MrFreefall383 0]

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I've been trying to think of ways to clean up my reputation. My latest idea is to give out t-shirt to women that read, "I had sex with Walt and didn't get an STD!"

Walt

Hey, now that might work.

"If at first you don't succeed... well, so much for skydiving." - aviation cliche

[BillyVance 35]

I've been trying to think of ways to clean up my reputation. My latest idea is to give out t-shirt to women that read, "I had sex with Walt and didn't get shit on!"

Walt

Fixed it.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[grannyinthesky 0]

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I'm impressed. There appears to be a pretty amazing side to you that doesn't often show. Be careful. If You shine up that tarnished reputation you have worked so hard to acquire, I might just give you some pity sex.

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Fixed it for ya - you had some typos

"safety first... and What the hell.....
safety second, Too!!! " ~~jmy

POPS #10490

[Jewels 0]

I don't have any really good blind date stories, although I did once go out with a guy I didn't know very well who had a reputation for being . . . frugal. It was supposed to be a dinner date. We got to the restaurant and she came to take our order, but all he asked for was ice water. No meal, just ice water. I think I ordered something reckless and expensive like iced tea. Then he took me by the grocery store, where he bought a stick of deodorant and some microwave popcorn. When he invited me to come up to his place after that, I got in my car and went home.

TPM Sister #102

[waltappel 1]

I was on non-blind date one time and my date got arrested and her car was impounded, leaving me stranded at a horse track at 1:00 in the morning.

Walt

[turtlespeed 226]

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I'm impressed. There appears to be a pretty amazing side to you that doesn't often show. Be careful. If You shine up that tarnished reputation you have worked so hard to acquire, I might just give you some pity sex.

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Fixed it for ya - you had some typos

Hey Walt . . . look - this one didn't throw up . . . she didn't even GAG!

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[Jewels 0]

You win.

Arrested for WHAT?! Why didn't they take you, too?

TPM Sister #102

[waltappel 1]

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You win.

Arrested for WHAT?! Why didn't they take you, too?

I was the designated driver and she was the designated drunk. She got really drunk and started getting really obnoxious so like the idiot that I am I went to her car to chill for a while. Somehow I fell asleep and was awakened by a cop who was asking whose car I was in. When I gave him the name he told me she had been arrested for public intoxication. I asked if they would release her to my custody and he got on the radio to the arresting officer. He told me that there was no way she was going to get out of the ride to jail because she had been really abusive to the officer.

Then he told me I would have to get out of the car and give him the keys because they were impounding it.

A couple of lessons learned:

1. *Never* be shitty to the designated driver.

2. If you are the designated driver, do not let your designated drunk out of your site. It can be a real pain in the ass but if you signed on as the designated driver you need to be there to try and keep them out of trouble.

So yeah, I kind of fucked that one up but she had a big hand in it too.

Walt