cocheese 0 #1 February 4, 2008 Does the speculum handle go up, or down? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shotgun 1 #2 February 4, 2008 Is there a medical procedure that can be done that will make me keep my house clean? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #3 February 4, 2008 Quote Does the speculum handle go up, or down? Whatever way you like if it is at a party. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #4 February 4, 2008 Does the fetus fart? If so,... never mind. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 3,111 #5 February 4, 2008 > Is there a medical procedure that can be done that will make me keep my house clean? No, but if you wear nothing but latex, you generate less dust. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kbordson 8 #6 February 4, 2008 Pelvic examination -Positioning the patient Raise the patients head so that eye contact is possible. Put your hand at the end of the table over the sheet and have the patient move down until she feels your hand. Drape the sheet around the legs and arrange so that you can see the patient and only the perineum is visible. Tell the patient you are going to touch her and touch her on her leg or thigh Ask her to move her legs out to “here”--and show her how wide. Tips to make the experience tolerable for the patient Don’t say things like “spread your legs” or “it looks good” Say “let your legs relax--out to here” and show her and “everything looks healthy” Try to avoid talking about the “blades” or the speculum (ouch!). Call them “bills” like a bird. Use firm pressure, not a light tickling touch Talk to the patient and tell her what you are doing. Look at the patient when you ask her a question, if you can. But, maintain eye contact and and stay in touch with the patient’s response. Be sensitive. Speculum examination: -Put pressure on the perineum -Insert speculum at an oblique angle -Insert completely -Allow the patient and her vagina to relax -Open the “bills” of the speculum -If you can not visualize the cervix, adjust the speculum. Remove the speculum and palpate, if necessary. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kbordson 8 #7 February 4, 2008 Quote Is there a medical procedure that can be done that will make me keep my house clean? Is "get a maid" a medical procedure? edit to add: I guess if you cloned her, it would be. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kbordson 8 #8 February 4, 2008 QuoteDoes the fetus fart? If so,... never mind. No, but they do pee - what do you think the amniotic fluid is? and if stressed - they will poop (meconium - sterile, not really "poop") Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #9 February 4, 2008 Thank you, Dr. Karen. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
warpedskydiver 0 #10 February 4, 2008 You forgot the part where Cocheese licks the spoon! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shotgun 1 #11 February 4, 2008 Quote Quote Is there a medical procedure that can be done that will make me keep my house clean? Is "get a maid" a medical procedure? I don't know, but perhaps I should combine yours and Bill's advice and get a maid who only wears latex. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #12 February 4, 2008 God you're smart. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NtheSeaOrSky 0 #13 February 4, 2008 Quote Open the “bills” of the speculum they forgot to add: For victims...er....patients who have not yet popped something the size of a prize winning watermelon out of their vagina, slow incremental pressure is tolerated much better than a sudden radical opening that would allow the patient to turn her whole body inside out through the newly created opening secondary to that separation. I'm just sayin' Life is not fair and there are no guarantees... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #14 February 4, 2008 Quote Quote Does the fetus fart? If so,... never mind. No, but they do pee - what do you think the amniotic fluid is? and if stressed - they will poop (meconium - sterile, not really "poop") As for the pee...hmm, I didn't know that. As for the poop...hmm, I didn't know that and don't think I wanted to. Do gay men want to screw her afterwords? Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #15 February 5, 2008 Quote -Positioning the patient Raise the patients head so that eye contact is possible. No eye contact please. That would be...'weird'. ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #16 February 5, 2008 Have you ever used an Rectal Retracter, and don't they look like they are evil?Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
simplyputsi 0 #17 February 5, 2008 Hair removal? edit: permanentSkymama's #2 stalker - Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SARLDO 0 #18 February 5, 2008 Hi Doc, When asked to "cough" why do I also have to turn my head and what exactly is being felt? Is this some sort of self-exam I should/could be doing? edited for spelling."Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest" ~Samuel Clemens MB#4300 Dudeist Skydiver #68 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 30 #19 February 5, 2008 Quote Quote Quote Is there a medical procedure that can be done that will make me keep my house clean? Is "get a maid" a medical procedure? I don't know, but perhaps I should combine yours and Bill's advice and get a maid who only wears latex. I like the way you think...Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #20 February 5, 2008 Quote Quote Quote Is there a medical procedure that can be done that will make me keep my house clean? Is "get a maid" a medical procedure? I don't know, but perhaps I should combine yours and Bill's advice and get a maid who only wears latex. But what if themaid id allergic to latexDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kbordson 8 #21 February 5, 2008 Broke: are you asking me or cocheese? I have seen those retracors and yes, many instruments in medicine look quite horrific. Luckily I haven't had to use them. . . yet. Simplyputsi: There is laser hair removal and IPL (intense pulsed light). Personally I only have experience with IPL. And there are threads in the womens forum on it Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shotgun 1 #22 February 5, 2008 Quote Quote I don't know, but perhaps I should combine yours and Bill's advice and get a maid who only wears latex. I like the way you think... You're welcome to apply for the job. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kbordson 8 #23 February 5, 2008 QuoteHi Doc, When asked to "cough" why do I also have to turn my head and what exactly is being felt? Is this some sort of self-exam I should/could be doing? edited for spelling. It's checking for an inguinal hernia. This link discusses Male Genital Examination Procedure (which, being a gynecologist, I generally don't do. . . professionally) If you start feeling added pressure/swelling down there, call for an appointment. This is something that needs to be looked at. Depending on the size of the hernia, if the bowel gets trapped in the ring and can't move freely back to the abdomen, it can become incarcerated and cut off it's blood supply. This is bad. edit to add - turn your head so you don't cough on us! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #24 February 5, 2008 QuoteQuoteHi Doc, When asked to "cough" why do I also have to turn my head and what exactly is being felt? Is this some sort of self-exam I should/could be doing? edited for spelling. It's checking for an inguinal hernia. This link discusses Male Genital Examination Procedure (which, being a gynecologist, I generally don't do. . . professionally) If you start feeling added pressure/swelling down there, call for an appointment. This is something that needs to be looked at. Depending on the size of the hernia, if the bowel gets trapped in the ring and can't move freely back to the abdomen, it can become incarcerated and cut off it's blood supply. This is bad. How about as a favor for a friend?Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #25 February 5, 2008 This whole thread is useless - it should be removed and never thought of again.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
