Broke 0 #1 February 8, 2008 ... or the legend of my golden nuts. Dedicated to Walt. So for Holloween this past year my son said he wanted me to make a police car as his costume. Well lets just say it come out pretty well. However I had some left over spray paint. Navy blue and Gold. I was sitting around my house one night bored out of my skull. I have no computer, no cable, and didn't have my PS2 then. I was cleaning up, and I saw my spray pain out. I put it away, but at that moment a thought popped into my head. It was at that point that I sent a mass text message asking people if I should spray paint my nuts gold. One of the replies from 2fat2fly was, "You don't have the balls." Jello J said, "Everyone at SDC says you should, but you have to do the shaft as well." Some friendly bantering via texts ensued. Eventually I posted this poll here http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?post=3001256;search_string=should%20I%3F%20Shouldn't%20I%3F%20Why%3F;#3001256 It would seem that overwhelmingly people voted yes. I don't know if they were being funny, o if they were being serious. I slacked on it for a few days. Then I decided to do it. I believe it was a Friday night. Again I was home alone and bored, so I took the spraypaint out of my closet. Got myself a plastic bag. Poked a hole in said plastic bag, and proceded to take my clothes off. There I stood neked in my living room I placed my not golden scrotum through the hole I just made in the above mentioned plastic bag. Then I sprayed. At first I thought to myself, "Hey that looks kinda cool let me take a pic of it." I then grabbed my cell phone, and then the burning pain set in. It was so painful that I was really shaking. I was shaking hard. My eyes were tearing, and it was hard for me to hold the phone to get a good pic. I remember thinking, "I gotta take this quick this really hurts." As soon as the pic was snapped I didn't even bother to check it out. I was crying, my body was shaking, my balls were burning, and now I felt the need to evacuate my bowls. I ran into the shower as quickly as I could, and only used the cold water. I was scrubbing and scrubbing to get the paint off. All the while I was blinded by my tears, and I really needed to take a dump. I wasn't about to leave the shower until I had cleaned the paint off, and the pain started to subside. After what felt like and eternity I started to feel the pain subside. Then I took care of my number 2. As I sat on my toilet I could still feel the slight burning. I got off the bowl, cleaned myself up, and then proceeded to finish drying myself off. I then felt so hurt that I decided it would be a good idea to go to bed early. I got my PJs on and went to bed, but I still could not fall asleep. "Why?" Might you ask. Well that is a simple matter of the fact that my balls were still burning. I don't think I am going to do that ever again, even if Walt says I am his hero for doing that. http://www.dropzone.com/cgi-bin/forum/gforum.cgi?do=post_attachment;postatt_id=91891;Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darius11 12 #2 February 8, 2008 sorry for your pain bro but that was funnyI'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Halfpastniner 0 #3 February 8, 2008 HAHA cool story! now that walts gone someones gotta try to fill his shoes BASE 1384 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #4 February 8, 2008 Too bad I don't have more stories. I'll just have to do something to make them happenDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gato 0 #5 February 8, 2008 This is why they always tell you to do a test area first.T.I.N.S. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #6 February 8, 2008 It is only 1% of my total surface area just consult the rule of nines http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rule_of_ninesDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #7 February 8, 2008 QuoteI was cleaning up, and I saw my spray pain out. I don't know if that was on purpose or not, but damn that's appropriate. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #8 February 8, 2008 My wife threatened to get ma a shirt made that said "Dangerous When Bored" I tend to have really good ideas but stop thinking about 3 steps too soon. Sunshine loves getting the phone calls that start out "It could have been a lot worse, but...." You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #9 February 8, 2008 QuoteQuoteI was cleaning up, and I saw my spray pain out. I don't know if that was on purpose or not, but damn that's appropriate. Damn typo I think I'll leave it thoughDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 7 #10 February 8, 2008 Quote HAHA cool story! now that walts gone someones gotta try to fill his shoes Fill 'em with WHAT! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #11 February 8, 2008 Quote Quote HAHA cool story! now that walts gone someones gotta try to fill his shoes Fill 'em with WHAT! SHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!!! Had to do that foul-mouthed one-time character's line from Murphy Brown. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #12 February 8, 2008 Quote Sunshine loves getting the phone calls that start out "It could have been a lot worse, but... I do!!! ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #13 February 8, 2008 Quote Too bad I don't have more stories. I'll just have to do something to make them happen so the word S O L V E N T never entered your mindYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #14 February 8, 2008 Yes lets put even more chemicals on my nutsDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #15 February 9, 2008 QuoteYes lets put even more chemicals on my nuts NO ya TWAT, the SOLVENTS are in the paint pigmentsYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #16 February 9, 2008 Ahh well also the fact that it was a metalic paint didn't help eitherDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #17 February 9, 2008 QuoteQuoteYes lets put even more chemicals on my nuts NO ya TWAT, the SOLVENTS are in the paint pigments Wow Broke - you gonna let him talk to you that way huh?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #18 February 9, 2008 Whatever, he doesn't know when but he will get it. Be afraid one day there will be a pic of squeeks head with a scrot resting on top of it.Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #19 February 9, 2008 Quote Whatever, he doesn't know when but he will get it. Be afraid one day there will be a pic of squeeks head with a scrot resting on top of it. I'm pretty good at photoshop...do you need help with that? ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #20 February 9, 2008 That my friend has to be realDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #21 February 9, 2008 Eek, my bad. I thought ya'll were just playing around. I'm gonna back away slowly before this thread turns uglier... ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #22 February 9, 2008 Shit this thread was ugly to start with Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #23 February 9, 2008 QuoteThat my friend has to be real So - Just to recap - You don't know when,. but you have a great desire to see a picture of Squeak with a pair of balls, still in the scrotum sack, resting atop his noggin? Or was there a facial position that I missed?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #24 February 9, 2008 It's not see that I am afterDivot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #25 February 9, 2008 Quote It's not see that I am after I wouldn't want my coin purse anywhere near his mouth. I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
