Substitutions for not getting any....

[iluvtofly 0]

So it's been a while for me. And I've found some unfortunate substitutions for not getting any sex. The most popular one seems to be food. Unfortunately I'm too poor for a gym membership and my asthma doesn't really like me to go outside in this bitter cold unless absolutely necessary.

What do those of you out there in my same sad position do for a substitution?

And for all those "I don't need to worry about finding a substitution." Well...I won't say what I'm thinking for fear of getting banned.

[CSpenceFLY 1]

The logical answer here is masturbation.

That will be $45 please.

[JustChuteMeNow 0]

I thought a lot of women had BOB come over.

Think of how stupid the average person is and realize that statistically half of them are stupider than that.

[Lindercles 0]

Yesterday I walked outside just in time to hear my neighbor say to his friend "you just can't substitute for fuckin'!" He's a very, very large man, but he's right.

[iluvtofly 0]

He sounds like he knows what he's talking about.

[lawrocket 3]

Go to Speaker's Corner. It's awesome!

Okay, not a substitute. Not even close. There IS no substitute.

As a female poster here once told me, anyone who thinks even skydiving is better than sex isn't doing it right.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[iluvtofly 0]

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Go to Speaker's Corner. It's awesome!

I've been there. It scares me.

[Broke 0]

Hump your co workers legs

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[iluvtofly 0]

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Hump your co workers legs

Somehow I don't think that would go over well.

[LeatherNeck5931 0]

Alcohol seems to work pretty well....It might not be that great of a substitute but it sure as hell takes your mind off of what you're missing!

[LeatherNeck5931 0]

Come to think of it...i need another beer

[iluvtofly 0]

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Alcohol seems to work pretty well....It might not be that great of a substitute but it sure as hell takes your mind off of what you're missing!

I do use that on occasion. But with working in EMS I can't do it too often cause then I can't get called in in the case of an emergency.

[skydemon2 0]

You should work with me....... Sorry if masturbation doesnt do it for you i dont know what could help.... knitting maybe? I need a new hat!

Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone!

I like to start my day off with a little Ray of Soulshine™!!

[kschilk 0]

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Alcohol seems to work pretty well....It might not be that great of a substitute but it sure as hell takes your mind off of what you're missing!

I do use that on occasion. But with working in EMS I can't do it too often cause then I can't get called in in the case of an emergency.

Ya' need to go to work for the Coroner....lotsa' stiffies there!

"T'was ever thus."

[Broke 0]

Web cam,make some money and play at the same time

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[SarahC07 0]

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Alcohol seems to work pretty well....It might not be that great of a substitute but it sure as hell takes your mind off of what you're missing!

Okay, please tell me that I'm not the only one who craves sex MORE when under the influence of alcohol...

[DJL 235]

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So it's been a while for me. And I've found some unfortunate substitutions for not getting any sex. The most popular one seems to be food.

Remind me never to accept a cucumber salad from you.

"I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher

[Unstable 9]

I thought it was just guys that felt like this?!?!?

=========Shaun ==========

[grannyinthesky 0]

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I thought it was just guys that felt like this?!?!?

Nope.....not just guys........and the young don't have a monoply on those feelings either..........

"safety first... and What the hell.....
safety second, Too!!! " ~~jmy

POPS #10490

[jcd11235 0]

Coffee.

Okay, it's not an adequate substitute, but it's similar in a lot of ways.

Math tutoring available. Only $6! per hour! First lesson: Factorials!

[popsjumper 2]

OMG, the irony of this topic being posted by a woman.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[virgin-burner 1]

come over, i'll shag your brains out!

but, could you do a little begging for it before the act? that would be quite some turn-on..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[mamajumps 0]

Yes, as Spence said...masterbation... go buy yourself a toy and if you get a good one, you will wonder will you ever needed a man to begin with! Toys have so many perks:

1) They only want it when you do
2) they dont want to cuddle afterwards
3) They don't bitch if its been a few weeks
and there are many more...just cant think of them right now

[ZeG 0]

I´m willing to sacrifice myself for any female in need in the Miami area
Age doesn´t matter

[ladyskydiver 0]

Thanks for reminding me that I'm not getting any and that BOB is broken and needs to be replaced .

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Alcohol seems to work pretty well....It might not be that great of a substitute but it sure as hell takes your mind off of what you're missing!

Okay, please tell me that I'm not the only one who craves sex MORE when under the influence of alcohol...

Nope...you're not the only one. I've got a high enough sex drive without it...add alcohol and the man had better be able to go for hours....again...and again...and....

Life is short! Break the rules! Forgive quickly! Kiss slowly! Love truly, Laugh uncontrollably. And never regret anything that made you smile.