New rules for job hunting (from a cranky job seeker)

[NWFlyer 2]

1. If you don't know how to spell the title of the job for which you're hiring, chances are that I'm not going to bother applying.

Here's a hint. The job you're hiring for is not a Principle Consultant. Unless all you want me to do is come in and lecture you about ethics. However, "You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

2. If you invent a new word, I will have to think long and hard about applying for your job.
This is from an actual job listing:

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The role of the Product Marketing Manager varies throughout the development and launch of new products:

Concepting – identify target consumers, perform market research, and build business cases and ROI models around new product.

Hey, folks. We were going along just fine till we threw in the word concepting. The rest of the words are real words, and they describe actual things that someone might do. But once we start verbing nouns and nouning verbs ... we're on thin ice.

3. If there is an acronym I don't know and it is repeated in more than 50% of the job's requirements/qualifications ... I probably shouldn't apply.

This seems like common sense, but sometimes it's fun to see a job title that looks like it might be a good match, then go and read a job description that makes no sense whatsoever and wonder if there's anyone who actually has any idea what the person will do.

4. Some skydivers actually have real jobs

Just throwing this in there to see if anyone's read this far. I've been pleasantly surprised by the networking help I've already received from my fellow jumpers.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[Remster 30]

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Principle Consultant

Thats one job I wouldn't want.

Remster

[Amazon 7]

Conceptualize the concept

[lauraliscious 0]

What's wrong with made up words while applying for a job?????? One of my favorite words that I WISH I could use on my resume is "connectorized". I used to use that word all the time in my weekly reports when I was still in the field.

But I didn't use it in my resume, and I just got the new job I wanted so I guess that method worked. Wonder if I would have been disqualified if I HAD used it.

Enemiga Rodriguez, PMS #369, OrFun #25, Team Dirty Sanchez #116, Pelt Head #29, Muff #4091

[NWFlyer 2]

What does connectorized MEAN?

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[Remster 30]

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What does connectorized MEAN?

If you have to ask, that means you have connecterization issues.

Remster

[NWFlyer 2]

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What does connectorized MEAN?

If you have to ask, that means you have connecterization issues.

Must be an enginerd thing.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[NWFlyer 2]

Okay, I have found one exception to Rule #3 above.

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Enjoys cocktailing and nightlife

I don't think cocktailing is a word*. But I find it acceptable in this context. And yes, this is an actual job that requires an advanced degree. Liquor brand management. It's a tough job but someone's got to do it.




*Edited to add I looked it up in Urban Dictionary and I'm not sure this was what the hiring people had in mind:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cocktailing

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[Andrewwhyte 1]

I think using conectorized on your resume is ok as long as you remember that truthiness is vital.

[NWFlyer 2]

5. Review the old stuff on your resume from time to time

I just looked back at my resume for a job I left in 2001 and read the description of one of my projects and I have no fucking CLUE what the client was or what the project was. It sounds like it was an awesome project and one of those that an interviewer would probably think was really interesting. But if anyone asks me about it in an interview, I am screwed. I think I'll be taking that one off the resume now.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[PLFKING 4]

A previous CEO of mine once sent out a monthly newsletter that was eye-catchingly titled "10 Tenants to Live By."

He didn't take too kindly to my offer to proofread his future writings.

Don

"When in doubt I whip it out,
I got me a rock-and-roll band.
It's a free-for-all."

[Andy9o8 2]

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5. Review the old stuff on your resume from time to time

I just looked back at my resume for a job I left in 2001 and read the description of one of my projects and I have no fucking CLUE what the client was or what the project was. It sounds like it was an awesome project and one of those that an interviewer would probably think was really interesting. But if anyone asks me about it in an interview, I am screwed. I think I'll be taking that one off the resume now.

Why?? You simply need to creativize, in a targeted manner. Just follow the paradigm, as extemporized in the rubric.

Easy as pie.

[sunshine 2]

I regularly deal with a person who writes work orders using the word "excepting" when the proper word is "accepting."

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[NWFlyer 2]

6. When you have an unusual name, you just have to smile and suck it up when people see your name written down and still butcher it.

For example, today I emailed a fellow alum (not someone I have met personally) who works at a target company and asked for his assistance and he was kind enough to email back quickly and indicate that I am welcome to call him at his office tomorrow.

However, his message starts out with "Hi Kristin, feel free to call me at work ..."

Where's that [cringe] smiley when I need it?

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[guppie01 0]

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6. When you have an unusual name, you just have to smile and suck it up when people see your name written down and still butcher it.

LOL.... when I was married (last name Krembs), I often got Good day Mrs. Cramps

I'm so used to people getting my first name wrong I just respond to whatever they call me.

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[tbrown 26]

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What does connectorized MEAN?

It means the guy's got a bald head with pointy hair on the sides and an evil red cat running his HR dept.

Your humble servant.....Professor Gravity !

[headoverheels 334]

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*Edited to add I looked it up in Urban Dictionary and I'm not sure this was what the hiring people had in mind:

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=cocktailing

Well, I don't think I'm going to accept a questionable definition from someone who uses "your" when they mean "you're."

[Baksteen 84]

7a. When you contact me about a job I might be interested in - tell me what it is!

translated into English as well as I could - at least his Dutch was correct..

"Dear Candidate,
Based on your on-line resume we feel that your profile fits the candidate our company is looking for.
We would like to invite you for a personal interview to discuss the possibilities.
Please contact me for an appointment.

Drs. [..]"

I tactfully replied that i needed further information, and here's the second email from this genius:

"Job opening concerns a research technician position with a pharmaceutical company. Please call me
Drs. [..]"

At least I had a company name now, because said genius replied with his standard signature, but still i was unable to find out more about the job.
He's only in his office from 9-5 too.

Can't say I am overly impressed if the person contacting me is representative of the company with regard to competence and professionalism.
(is that a word, Krisanne?)

Edit:
7b Also make sure that I actually qualify for the job.
Some more nagging finally got me the job details.
The company fails to describe even a single technique that's on my resume. I hadn't in fact even heard of some of them.
Apparently they are looking for a research technician in a completely different scientific field.
Sigh...and to think these guys actually research medicine.

"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

[Buffdiver 0]

Honest opinion.. I worked at this restaurant during college. Made good $$ and had a blast. but after graduation, left for a "typical" corporate job. Was absolutely miserable... went back to said job waiting tables after 10 months. Job still affords me jumping every weekend and trips to Boogies most of the time. I feel kinda lame for sticking with a waiting job after my college degree but no other job can offer me the freedom to travel as much as i want as well as afford jumps every weekend. Should I get it together and get a real job or stay doing what i am doing now. I am 25 and am feeling pressure to get my shit together. Thanks for all the input.

[Baksteen 84]

This is a typical example of when the old "Talk to your instructors"-reaction does not work.

There is no way that anyone can judge how happy you'll be in any job, and how well a job fits your personality and ambitions. Not even if they have years and years working exactly the same job you'll be applying for.

You are the only person who can answer that question.

I'd start at thinking back to college - did you really enjoy the stuff you learned? And what made that job you had so miserable? Mind numbing and/or monotonous work? Collegues you didn't connect with? Problems with the style of the manager? Too much work? Too little?

One thing I have learned in my current job is that no matter how nice the collegues are, if you don't get any satisfaction out of the work you do, you'll be utterly miserable.
That's why i decided to switch jobs.
However, i know there are jobs out there that do offer flexibility, variation, new opportunities/responsibilities and whatnot.
The challenge is to find them.

"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

[Squeak 17]

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Honest opinion.. I worked at this restaurant during college. Made good $$ and had a blast. but after graduation, left for a "typical" corporate job. Was absolutely miserable... went back to said job waiting tables after 10 months. Job still affords me jumping every weekend and trips to Boogies most of the time. I feel kinda lame for sticking with a waiting job after my college degree but no other job can offer me the freedom to travel as much as i want as well as afford jumps every weekend. Should I get it together and get a real job or stay doing what i am doing now. I am 25 and am feeling pressure to get my shit together. Thanks for all the input.

Why the hell would you feel lame for working in a job you enjoy, earning adequate money. That is such an insult to all those who work in the hospitality industry. You make it sound as though it's beneath you.

If you enjoy what you do ("have a blast") WTF does it matter what it is. you state your bills are paid and needs are met. you should be over the moon.
Not acting like an ungrateful brat.
Just My opinion YMMMV

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[lauraliscious 0]

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What does connectorized MEAN?

It means I put various types of connectors on various types of cables as part of our equipment tune up. Some DB connectors on control cables, and some RJ-45 connectors on computer cable, but mostly N-type connectors on RF cables. So yeah, it's an enginerd term. Is that even a word???? I like it.

"Installed connectors" doesn't really work, because it's not so much an installation.

"Applied connectors" doesn't work either.

"Put connectors on" doesn't sound professional.

"Assembled connectors" *might* work but that sounds weird too.

"Connectorized" is much better sounding; descriptive, brief, and to the point. Everyone reading my weekly reports knew what I meant.

Enemiga Rodriguez, PMS #369, OrFun #25, Team Dirty Sanchez #116, Pelt Head #29, Muff #4091

[AirWhore 0]

Quote

Quote

What does connectorized MEAN?

It means I put various types of connectors on various types of cables as part of our equipment tune up. Some DB connectors on control cables, and some RJ-45 connectors on computer cable, but mostly N-type connectors on RF cables.

Ohhh Baby i love it when you talk dirty

Now tell me about insertion loss, I love it when you talk about about insertion loss

[lauraliscious 0]

Okay, here you go...

According to the Anritsu Site Master Handbook, insertion loss is, "A measure of how much smaller the output signal of a passive device is with respect to the input signal. It is measured in decibels."

sounds way more dirty than connectorizing to me!

Anyway, sorry to hijack a perfectly good job seeking thread with all these geeky terms. I know you didn't really want to know what connectorized means.

Enemiga Rodriguez, PMS #369, OrFun #25, Team Dirty Sanchez #116, Pelt Head #29, Muff #4091

[Andy9o8 2]

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Honest opinion.. I worked at this restaurant during college. Made good $$ and had a blast. but after graduation, left for a "typical" corporate job. Was absolutely miserable... went back to said job waiting tables after 10 months. Job still affords me jumping every weekend and trips to Boogies most of the time. I feel kinda lame for sticking with a waiting job after my college degree but no other job can offer me the freedom to travel as much as i want as well as afford jumps every weekend. Should I get it together and get a real job or stay doing what i am doing now. I am 25 and am feeling pressure to get my shit together. Thanks for all the input.

You have the rights and freedoms of an adult, you have enough money to live your current chosen lifestyle, you already have a marketable sheepskin, and you are single, childless, unemcumbered by mortgages or career demands and incredibly healthy NOW.

Most people don't realize how small that window of opportunity is until it has closed.

Unless you're a Hindu, life is a once-off: once it's done, it's done. Ask yourself this: some day, when you're on your deathbed, do you think you will muse, "Gee, I wish I'd spent more time in an office back when I was in my 20's"?