How do I make time for myself?

[iluvtofly 0]

I've always been one of those people that I will do whatever someone else needs me to do for them leaving little or no time for myself. I will find the time to help someone else when they need it, but I can never seem to find the time to take care of myself.

Example 1...The second part of last week my schedule went like this. Wednesday night worked 11pm to 7am Thursday. Went home, slept for 2 hours, worked at the dz 10am to 6pm, went home, slept for 3 hours, worked 11pm to 7am Friday went home, slept for 2 hours, worked at the dz 10am to 6pm, went home, slept for 3 hours, went to work 11pm to 7am Saturday, went home, slept for 2 hours, went to dz worked 10am to 8pm.

Example 2...tonight I'm working 3pm to 11pm. Originally tomorrow I was supposed to work 10am to 12pm then again 3pm to 11pm. I was planning on going to the gym in the morning before work (I joined about a week and a half ago and haven't made it there yet.) Well, when I showed up to work today they asked if I could come in at 515am tomorrow instead of 10 (still working till 12 mind you). Being me (and being poor) I said yes. So there goes my me time for tomorrow.

Example 3...This Friday my schedule goes like this. Work my main job 7am to 3pm, work at the DZ packing 3pm to ???, go back to main job 11pm to 7am Saturday then go straight back to working at the DZ till ???.

I would love to have some time for myself but between being poor and needing to work like a mad woman and not ever being able to say no when someone needs me to work or hlep out how am I supposed to do it???

[skymama 37]

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and not ever being able to say no when someone needs me to work or hlep out how am I supposed to do it???

Assuming that no one is holding a gun to your head, you just get up your gumption and say "no". It takes a little bit of practice, but you'll get used to it. You can say something like, "I'd really love to help you, but I can't today" and leave it at that. They don't have to know your reason and quite frankly, it's none of their business.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[woady 0]

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and not ever being able to say no when someone needs me to work or hlep out how am I supposed to do it???

Assuming that no one is holding a gun to your head, you just get up your gumption and say "no". It takes a little bit of practice, but you'll get used to it. You can say something like, "I'd really love to help you, but I can't today" and leave it at that. They don't have to know your reason and quite frankly, it's none of their business.

Yeah, regardless, you gotta make time for yourself. I work a crap load like you, but occasionally you gotta have some "Me Time". A weekend off every so often does wonders.

You know what's similar between Cops and Firefighters? They both wanna be firefighters.

[Snowwhite 0]

listen to the wise words of the previous posters. I was given permission to use the "NO" word a couple of years ago, and it's amazing how much easier my life has become.
I now give that permission to you

skydiveTaylorville.org
freefallbeth@yahoo.com

[iluvtofly 0]

I kinda had this past weekend off. But I spent it moving into my new apartment.


The problem is I know just how shorthanded both places are. If I said no to comming in early tomorrow I know there is no one else for them to ask and a poor little old lady would have to miss her dr. appointment because I was being selfish. And I know that if I say no to the dz then they'll only really have 1 person to pack the tandems for them and I feel bad pushing all of my work onto her. This is why I can never say no...guilt that I'm making someone else do my work for me.

[stitch 0]

Get a sugar daddy.

"No cookies for you"- GFD
"I don't think I like the sound of that" ~ MB65
Don't be a "Racer Hater"

[iluvtofly 0]

You know anyone who would want the job.

[Bolas 5]

Don't teach her how to say no!!!

At least wait until after SkyFest.

Seriously, you don't have to say no to people to make time for yourself, but you do have hold to your schedule. If you've planned to do something by yourself that you don't want to put off, offer an alternate time.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[Bolas 5]

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The problem is I know just how shorthanded both places are. If I said no to comming in early tomorrow I know there is no one else for them to ask and a poor little old lady would have to miss her dr. appointment because I was being selfish. And I know that if I say no to the dz then they'll only really have 1 person to pack the tandems for them and I feel bad pushing all of my work onto her. This is why I can never say no...guilt that I'm making someone else do my work for me.

So you're the manager of the DZ and the EMS service now?

Their inability to get the resources they need to do the jobs is not your problem, it's theirs. Sure, others may suffer, but sometimes that's what's needed to show the problem.

This is one reason why conditions at most jobs are miserable because rather than let things crumble, the more burdens and idiocy that are piled on, the more we kill ourselves to make sure things get done.

Complaints and problems aren't a bad thing. Most of the time they show the issues that employees have been complaining about for years yet nothing was ever done.

You've got to look at it from a business owners perspective. You've got limited resources. Where do you concentrate your efforts on? The areas where you have problems that are impacting your business or the areas where your employees somehow manage to keep things running? On larger companies. it's way worse because everything is tied to numbers and stats. As long as those look good, nothing is going to change.

Just cuz you can do something, doesn't mean you should or even feel you have to.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[iluvtofly 0]

I love my job at both places...I just wish I could make my own schedule so that they work well together and I could still have me time and time to sleep.

I think the biggest reason I never say no to either place is because my finances SUCK at the moment. Though I just moved into a new cheaper apartment so that should really help things. Yes, guilt plays a large part but I think that money plays just a slightly larger role. I think the split is 50.1% to 49.9%.

The timing just sucks. All winter when the DZ was closed I was pretty much begging for overtime at work but there was none to be had. But now that I'm busy doing something else and my schdule is more busy they're offering it to me. I know that if I say no I'll look bad in the eyes of most people at work because I spent all winter begging for it.

[Bolas 5]

It's all a compromise.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[cocheese 0]

Have you considered exotic dancing?

[countzero 7]

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I think the biggest reason I never say no to either place is because my finances SUCK at the moment.

in that case i recommend the dave ramsey program. lots of good info on turning financial situations around.

diamonds are a dawgs best friend

[SuperGirl 0]

hang in there... I know how you feel.
one thing you can do for now is delegate responsibility. if the dz really needs a packer, see if you can ask one of your friends to pack tandems for, say, 2 hrs, another one to pack for another 2, and so on... of course, those who are qualified to do that...
same with the work - see if you can take a day off sometime and just have a friend sub for you

I don't know the details so it might not work the way I'm suggesting it.

Try to ask yourself how much longer do you really need to overwork yourself like this. Are the current jobs helping you move towards a better situation where you will have more time for yourself, or could it potentially go on like this for a long time? If it's only something really temporary, like maybe a few months max, then it may be okay, but make sure you set that deadline and when it comes, if things haven't changed, try to look for a change (even if it's really hard)
If it looks like this could go on for a very long time, you need to do something asap! Sooner or later you won't have enough energy to go on like this. You would also run the risk of getting overstressed and developing depression and then you won't even be able to do the work you're doing now... You need to take care of yourself and ensure that your huge amount of work won't affect your health.

[SuperGirl 0]

also, another thing to do:
- pick some events ahead of time when you want to do something fun just for yourself (like a boogie or going to see some show or even sleeping session, whatever you feel you need the most)
- mark those on your calendar.
- when asked to do something else that coincides, think about it just as any other scheduling conflict. if your 2 jobs asked you to do something at the same time, you would have to tell one that you can't because of the other and work around it somehow. Imagine the stuff for yourself counts as yet another job and you just can't put it off.

[shropshire 0]

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I kinda had this past weekend off. But I spent it moving into my new apartment.


The problem is I know just how shorthanded both places are. If I said no to comming in early tomorrow I know there is no one else for them to ask and a poor little old lady would have to miss her dr. appointment because I was being selfish. And I know that if I say no to the dz then they'll only really have 1 person to pack the tandems for them and I feel bad pushing all of my work onto her. This is why I can never say no...guilt that I'm making someone else do my work for me.

You're way too sweet

It's NOT your fault that your work place(s) are not staffed enough. They are NOT your companies. Being flexible is great but needs to go both ways.

NO job is worth making yourself ill for. Please don't let yourself be put upon..... Now fetch me a coffee woman

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome