mnealtx 0 #1 July 6, 2008 A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3o'clock in the morning, a loud noise came from outside. The woman, sort of bewildered, jumped up from the bed and yelled at the man, 'Holy Shit! That must be my husband!' So the guy quickly jumped out of the bed, scared and naked he jumped out the window like a crazy man. He smashed himself on the ground, ran through a thorn bush, then started to run as fast as he could to his car. A few minutes later he returned and went up to the bedroom and screamed at the woman 'I AM your husband, you slut!' The woman yelled back, 'Yeah??? Then why were you running....you Son of a Bitch !!!' And that, folks............is how the fight started. The moral of the story? Don't sleep TOO soundly!!! Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #2 July 6, 2008 Yikes... That reminds me of this joke: Three guys die and go to heaven. St. Peter says "Listen - we're having a really busy century, so we need to manage admissions tightly. Right now we can only admit people who have died in horrible fashions, and those who have died in a more mundane way will have to wait in limbo, and it could take a decade or two to work you in." So St. Peter takes aside the first man, and asks him how he died. "Well, I'd been suspicious of my wife having an affair for some time now, so today I came home from work early. I just knew the guy was in my apartment, but I couldn't find him. I looked everywhere and was just about to give up, when I went out on the balcony of my 23rd story apartment and there he was hanging over the edge! He was just barely hanging on, there was no way he could climb back onto the balcony. It was a really stupid place to try to hide. I was livid, so I started punching him and clawing at his fingers, but he held on. Finally I went to get a hammer and started pounding on his fingers, and he fell down. But what really angered me was that he landed in some bushes and fell to the ground dazed, but basically OK! I was so mad I grabbed the refrigerator, threw it off the balcony and it landed on him. Unfortunately I was so riled up by the incident I had a heart attack and died." St. Peter was taken aback, and said "While you did die in a dramatic fashion, I think we need to look at that whole second degree murder before we let you in - off to limbo with you." He then approached the second man and asked him how he had died. "I was riding my exercise bike on the balcony of my 24th story apartment, when the thing broke and threw me over the railing! I grabbed furiously at the railing and slipped, but managed to catch on the balcony below mine. I tried to climb up but it just wasn't possible. I thought I was going to fall but then someone came out on the balcony. I thought he would help me, until he started hitting me! I held on as best I could, but when he got a hammer and started hitting me I finally couldn't hold on anymore and fell. Somehow, though, I fell in some bushes and fell to the ground dazed, but basically OK! Just as I'm coming around, I look up and BAM this refrigerator lands on me. So here I am." St. Peter immediately admitted this second man to heaven, and pulled aside the third man and asked him for his story. "Picture this: I'm hiding naked in a refrigerator..."So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Leapinglizardto 0 #3 July 6, 2008 both very funny. & I loved the 'can you hear me now' pic you posted in another thread mnealtx. It's pretty pathetic when you have to TELL people you're fucking cool Skymama «narrative»This thread will lock in 3..2.. What a load of narrow-minded Xenophobic Bullshit!-squeak Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
