RALFFERS 0 #1 July 22, 2008 I don't care whether or not snopes says any of this is true or not - it's funny... QuoteTech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer: A white one... =============== Customer: Hi, this is Celine. I can't get my diskette out. Tech support: Have you tried pushing the button? Customer: Yes, sure, it's really stuck. Tech support: That doesn't sound good; I'll make a note. Customer: No .. wait a minute... I hadn't inserted it yet... it's still on my desk... sorry.... =============== Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen. Customer: Your left or my left? =============== Tech support: Good day. How may I help you? Male customer: Hello... I can't print. Tech support: Would you click on 'start' for me and.. . Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates, dammit! =============== Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it... =============== Customer: I have problems printing in red... Tech support: Do you have a color printer? Customer: Aaaah....................thank you. =============== Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am? Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11. =============== Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore. Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer? Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer. Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back. Customer: OK Tech support: Did the keyboard come with you? Customer: Yes Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard? Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work... =============== Tech support: Your password is the small letter a as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7. Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters? == ============= Customer: I can't get on the Internet. Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password? Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it. Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was? Customer: Five stars. =============== Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use? Customer: Netscape. Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program. Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer. =============== Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears. =============== Tech support: How may I help you? Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail. Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem? Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it? =============== A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer. Tech support: Are you running it under windows? Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.' =============== And last but not least... Tech support: 'Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P' to bring up the Program Manager.' Customer: I don't have a P. Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob. Customer: What do you mean? Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Bob. Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!Dialogue/commentary between Divot, Twardo & myself - "from your first Oshkosh when the three of us were riding to or from one of Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #2 July 22, 2008 There can be some really really stupid fuckers out there that tech support has to put up with.... "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Butters 0 #3 July 22, 2008 It's not funny ... it's annoying (and true). How many times have I been told a computer was broken because it wouldn't turn on only to find out it wasn't plugged in ... to many times. "That looks dangerous." Leopold Stotch Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #4 July 22, 2008 I have had to explain how to find the Windows Desktop to more than 1 of our customers. Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RALFFERS 0 #5 July 22, 2008 Sorry, that's still funny!...Dialogue/commentary between Divot, Twardo & myself - "from your first Oshkosh when the three of us were riding to or from one of Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #6 July 22, 2008 It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has to deal with complete idiots at work on a daily basis. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RALFFERS 0 #7 July 22, 2008 Please elaborate. Dialogue/commentary between Divot, Twardo & myself - "from your first Oshkosh when the three of us were riding to or from one of Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hausse 0 #8 July 22, 2008 Quote It's nice to know I'm not the only one who has to deal with complete idiots at work on a daily basis. You a politician? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #9 July 22, 2008 I work for an ambulance service...I'm an EMT but due to staff shortages I mostly work in dispatch. One of my alltime favorite stupid calls...a nursing home calls at 3AM to send an 88 year old woman to the ER. I ask why. Their answer is, "she's lethargic." (NO SHIT SHE'S LETHARGIC...IT'S 3AM AND SHE'S 88 YEARS OLD) I asked if there was any other reason for her to go the ER and they said no. Another one of our goodies...a different nursing home calls at 4am for a woman whose pulse is so fast the nurse can't count fast enough and it has to be well into the 200's. The crew gets there, the woman is asleep in her bed. The medic goes to take the pulse and it's 70. That nurse needs to go back to school. We also get alot of people who call us direct instead of calling 911. I got 1 little old lady who calls for an ambulance for her husband. I ask what the problem is, she says, "I don't know." I say, "well why do you want him taken to the hospital." She says, "I don't know I just do." Those are just a few examples. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RALFFERS 0 #10 July 22, 2008 And I'm guessing you have to send them out anyway - stupid caller or not, right?Dialogue/commentary between Divot, Twardo & myself - "from your first Oshkosh when the three of us were riding to or from one of Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #11 July 22, 2008 Quote And I'm guessing you have to send them out anyway - stupid caller or not, right? You guessed right. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RALFFERS 0 #12 July 22, 2008 Quote Quote And I'm guessing you have to send them out anyway - stupid caller or not, right? You guessed right. Peachy... Dialogue/commentary between Divot, Twardo & myself - "from your first Oshkosh when the three of us were riding to or from one of Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
