To Pay, or not to pay

[guppie01 0]

So.... If someone gets married, has 2 daughters and then the marriage fails. Should the father be financially responsible for the girls if the ex wife gets full custody and refuses to let the father see his children????

Let's keep it light... I don't want this moved to speakers corner.

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[BillyVance 35]

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So.... If someone gets married, has 2 daughters and then the marriage fails. Should the father be financially responsible for the girls if the ex wife gets full custody and refuses to let the father see his children????

Let's keep it light... I don't want this moved to speakers corner.

g

That's a sticky situation. The father had better get a good lawyer then and tie in the ability to pay alimony to the mother's ability to allow father-daughter quality time. Then again, the girls lose anyway.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[futuredivot 0]

No way is this not going to SC
But, in the meantime-Too many unknowns to make a call-If the court decides not to mandate visitation rights, then there may be a reason. If the mother refused to abide by the court's visitation ruling-that's a whole different issue

You are only as strong as the prey you devour

[skybytch 273]

Yes.

[guppie01 0]

a lil more insight...

The father has no convictions against him, however the mother has convinced the judge that he is a threat to her and her daughters. A restraining order was issued with supervised visitation rights for 6 hours 1 x a week. He has followed the order, including going to anger management, parenting classes, and therapy.

Back in court today to request a change in visitation - he feels that if he is not granted visitation / or partial gaurdianship that in his eyes his ex. wife has decided that she is 100% responsible for the children and he should not have to pay.

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[tigra 0]

Yes. Why do the kids always get punished and used as pawns in their parents' battles?

[BillyVance 35]

It really sucks when that happens.

One of my uncles, who is divorced from his wife that he has 2 kids with, shares a house with her in some fashion. He has an office and studio in the basement of the house that the ex-wife and kids live in upstairs. The kids have a win-win situation even if the parents don't get along anymore, and he's there during the day while the ex-wife is at work.

Wish more divorces with kids were as amicable as that.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[mouth 0]

Child support is not paying for the rights to visit a child it is paying for the support of the child. The two are not attached visitation is different from support. Support is mandatory...he helped have them, even if he is deemed unfit for unsupervised visits, he should pay.

--
Hot Mama
At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit.

[Darius11 12]

If he is the father then yes. His relationship with his ex-wife has no bearing on his responsibility to his children.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[airtwardo 7]

...and he should not have to pay.

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Not up to him.

He needs either a better lawyer...or schooling in the proper application of high explosives!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[BillyVance 35]

I hear ya. How about this situation: The dad's a good man, the mom's a psycho. She leaves and takes the kids with her and disappears after the divorce and refuses to allow the dad to find or see their kids.

It would be a bitter pill to swallow having to pay child support to a vengeful ex-wife who does that. The kids truly loses here.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[guppie01 0]

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...and he should not have to pay.

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Not up to him.

He needs either a better lawyer...or schooling in the proper application of high explosives!

LOL


g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[wildcard451 0]

Sure, he should pay for the kids, and only the kids.
Have whatever money is needed itemized by his ex for expenses and he pays half.
He should not have to pay it to her to use for their expenses as she sees fit, cause then who knows where the cash is headed.



But then again, never been in that situation, so I'm not sure how this shit works.

[shropshire 0]

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That's a sticky situation.

If that had actually been the case........

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[happythoughts 0]

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So.... If someone gets married, has 2 daughters and then the marriage fails. Should the father be financially responsible for the girls if the ex wife gets full custody and refuses to let the father see his children????

You are discussing what is right. However, what happens is legal.

Child support is enforced separately by the court.
In fact, it is enforced at the federal level. If you don't pay, they withhold your income tax return. There is a local courthouse group that provides free support enforcement.

Visitation rights are rarely, if ever, enforced.
Further court orders are laughably ignored because there will be no action taken.

Abuse is the new court game. In many court actions, one parent will have the other charged with abuse within 3 weeks of a court date.
Then, in court, the parent is asked if they have ever been arrested for abuse (not convicted).

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Let's keep it light... I don't want this moved to speakers corner.

A poor expectation. Such a fun topic.

[returnofdamac 0]

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Sure, he should pay for the kids, and only the kids.
Have whatever money is needed itemized by his ex for expenses and he pays half.
He should not have to pay it to her to use for their expenses as she sees fit, cause then who knows where the cash is headed.

--------
yea I have seen this situation go extremely awry. Some people use the alimony freely for shopping trips for themselves and such while the children must do without. I think he shouldn't have to pay anything if he can't see his kids.

But then again, never been in that situation, so I'm not sure how this shit works.

Me: I want to ride a bull out of a skyvan.
vegasjoe: How the hell are you going to land that thing?
Me: Who said anything about landed with it? I think after we'll have some Bar-B-Que.

[guppie01 0]

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Sure, he should pay for the kids, and only the kids.
Have whatever money is needed itemized by his ex for expenses and he pays half.
He should not have to pay it to her to use for their expenses as she sees fit, cause then who knows where the cash is headed.

But then again, never been in that situation, so I'm not sure how this shit works.

A lil more....

The mother has chronic back pain, consumed over 30,000 pain pills in one year. She now has a morphine pump installed, claims she is disabled and can't work.

I seriously want to bitch slap them both, this has been going on for over a year now, and those poor girls are thrown in the middle of it. They are both so stubborn and cannot focus on anything other than themselves and "winning."

ack

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[airtwardo 7]

...consumed over 30,000 pain pills in one year.






That's 82 pills a DAY!


Guess she never heard of sharing?

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[RhondaLea 4]

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a lil more insight...

The father has no convictions against him, however the mother has convinced the judge that he is a threat to her and her daughters. A restraining order was issued with supervised visitation rights for 6 hours 1 x a week. He has followed the order, including going to anger management, parenting classes, and therapy.

Back in court today to request a change in visitation - he feels that if he is not granted visitation / or partial gaurdianship that in his eyes his ex. wife has decided that she is 100% responsible for the children and he should not have to pay.

g

The fact that he seems to have no care for his children's welfare was probably quite obvious to the judge.

He is still the children's father, and his concern should be for their welfare. Cutting off their support because he is refused visitation shows clearly where his concern lies.

If you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb

[guppie01 0]

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...consumed over 30,000 pain pills in one year.






That's 82 pills a DAY!


Guess she never heard of sharing?

LOL.... that number is according to him - I don't have direct knowledge on the total number... just know that she spent most of her time passed out on a bed / or couch from too many pills.

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[futuredivot 0]

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passed out on a bed / or couch from too many pills.

Or kept waking up from not enough pills

You are only as strong as the prey you devour

[Nightingale 0]

Whether or not he sees the kids, the kids still need clothes, shoes, and food. He still needs to pay his half.

Edited to add: remind your friend that failing to pay is failing to follow a court order, and the judge will not look kindly on that when evaluating a request for a change in custody. If she's really that bad, he needs to shut up and let his lawyer deal with it, because she will hang herself eventually. Drug addicts tend to do that.

[happythoughts 0]

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The fact that he seems to have no care for his children's welfare was probably quite obvious to the judge.

The "fact" ? The internet psychic predicts the thoughts of a judge through the internet.

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He is still the children's father, and his concern should be for their welfare. Cutting off their support because he is refused visitation shows clearly where his concern lies.

First, you are equating support and their welfare as a fact. There are no facts given to support this theory.
Many people realize that children rarely get the value from support. It ends up being ex-wife lifestyle support, not child support. Kids don't need a new BMW.

And what about where her concern lies? Here is a parent who wants to be in the lives of his children and she refuses to allow that. Where is her concern for her children? She wants them to grow up fatherless? This is a form of child emotional abuse.

You seem to ignore a lot of facts.

[happythoughts 0]

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Edited to add: remind your friend that failing to pay is failing to follow a court order, and the judge will not look kindly on that when evaluating a request for a change in custody.

The visitation rights, that she is refusing to allow, are also court ordered. What will the judge think of that?

[Nightingale 0]

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Edited to add: remind your friend that failing to pay is failing to follow a court order, and the judge will not look kindly on that when evaluating a request for a change in custody.

The visitation rights, that she is refusing to allow, are also court ordered. What will the judge think of that?

I didn't see any indication that the judge had ordered visitation, beyond the supervised visitation that Guppie said he had been attending.

If she was refusing visitation, she would look bad, so it's better for him if he does not look bad also.