BillyVance 35 #1 August 5, 2008 Gate C37 at the Atlanta Airport waiting to pick up a deaf/blind client and take him home, and his flight's delayed 2 hours, and I'm sitting here with nothing to do but postwhore away on this damn blackberry!!! There's a Samuel Adams bar just down the concourse that's really tempting me to go get a tall one, and I can't while I'm on the clock. Fuck.... At least I just got told by my supervisor that I'm the first to ever get a security pass straight to the gate without a ticket. Damn, I'm good with the lady ticket agents... [Laugh] Entertain me. I'm bored now."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #2 August 5, 2008 Give us a Tuesday funny. Do you have any good jokes?Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Taylor610 0 #3 August 5, 2008 Give us a Tuesday funny. Do you have any good jokes? *** So this deaf guy walks into the airport and asks, "Where is the nearest Sam Adams bar?"... How's that??!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #4 August 5, 2008 Quote Gate C37 at the Atlanta Airport waiting to pick up a deaf/blind client So I'm curious; How do you communicate with him? I'm just picturing Billy grabbing this guy to take him home, and the guy thinking he is being abducted, and putting up a fight."There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 892 #5 August 5, 2008 or his companion dog attacks! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Taylor610 0 #6 August 5, 2008 So I'm curious; How do you communicate with him? I'm just picturing Billy grabbing this guy to take him home, and the guy thinking he is being abducted, and putting up a fight. *** First he yells, "Hey Asshole..." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #7 August 5, 2008 Quote Quote Gate C37 at the Atlanta Airport waiting to pick up a deaf/blind client So I'm curious; How do you communicate with him? I'm just picturing Billy grabbing this guy to take him home, and the guy thinking he is being abducted, and putting up a fight. He will be the guy at the gate that yells "DOOR!" as it is opened.Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #8 August 5, 2008 Cheeky bastards. [Laugh] all the good stuff is on my home computer. You'll just have to wait until tonight. That's why I said entertain ME! Asstrumpets... The client is completely deaf and blind. The only way to communicate with him is via hand-in-hand sign language. If you're familiar with the Helen Keller story, you'll know what I'm talking about. Oh well, I'm not completely bored anyway. Every minute some hot lady walks by in towering heels and tight pants. Something about high heels that make their asses perk up. Just good eye candy. [Laugh]"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #9 August 5, 2008 So I guess you're going to look like an asshole holding up a sign. How do you wave him down after he's been strip searched and the TSA takes away his hearing eye dog? Is there a secret handshake or is it more of a flying tackle?--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 892 #10 August 5, 2008 man you should hear those heels on the tile. oh...sorry..... Airport scenery has always been one of my favorites....and the reason I always got yelled at for not getting expense reports completed while on the road..."I was BUSY!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,590 #11 August 5, 2008 Quote Every minute some hot lady walks by in towering heels and tight pants. Dammit Billy, we thought you understood: The airport is on the left side of the street, and the strip club is on the right side of the street!"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #12 August 5, 2008 Quote So I guess you're going to look like an asshole holding up a sign. How do you wave him down after he's been strip searched and the TSA takes away his hearing eye dog? Is there a secret handshake or is it more of a flying tackle? You have seen 2 dogs get to know each other right? I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #13 August 5, 2008 Quote Quote Every minute some hot lady walks by in towering heels and tight pants. Dammit Billy, we thought you understood: The airport is on the left side of the street, and the strip club is on the right side of the street! I don't care who you are. That is just funny!Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sickandtwisted 0 #14 August 5, 2008 QuoteThe client is completely deaf and blind. The only way to communicate with him is via hand-in-hand sign language. If you're familiar with the Helen Keller story, you'll know what I'm talking about. Rich makes a mental note to get blind guy glasses before next trip to a strip club. "I was just looking!"Skymama stalker #69!!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #15 August 5, 2008 Quote man you should hear those heels on the tile. oh...sorry..... Airport scenery has always been one of my favorites....and the reason I always got yelled at for not getting expense reports completed while on the road..."I was BUSY!" Thankfully, I'm not too deaf not to hear those clacks on the hard floors. The sound is unmistakable. The hard part is knowing where it's coming from. [Laugh] Aggiedave, I'm sitting right outside the gate door. Airline staff will simply lead the client from his seat on the plane and out the gate, and then I'll take over from there. All he's got is a walking stick, but really does need someone to guide him through the world's busiest airport. When I sent him off last Thursday, I had to call ahead to the person picking him up to describe his checked baggage though, just to make it easier for them to find it."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cornholio 0 #16 August 5, 2008 Quote Every minute some hot lady walks by in towering heels and tight pants. Something about high heels that make their asses perk up. Just good eye candy. [Laugh] You have a BB, you have Internet. Photos....Now!! Entertain us, Dammit!! Butthead: Whoa! Burritos for breakfast! Beavis: Yeah! Yeah! Cool! bellyflier on the dz.com hybrid record jump Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 892 #17 August 5, 2008 You just reminded me of Frank Zappa.... "The white zone is for loading and unloading only. If you must load or unload, go to the white zone." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #18 August 5, 2008 Quote Quote Every minute some hot lady walks by in towering heels and tight pants. Something about high heels that make their asses perk up. Just good eye candy. [Laugh] You have a BB, you have Internet. Photos....Now!! Entertain us, Dammit!! I wish. I have a 8703e model. No camera in it. It's almost time to get a newer model though. I swear, some of the women, granted, not many, but some look like they're ready for a night out in the city! [Crazy] Still, it's the best part about being in this airport. [Laugh]"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jcd11235 0 #19 August 5, 2008 QuoteI said entertain ME! Asstrumpets... I didn't realize a deaf guy would find farts humorous (not even BillyVance). You learn something everyday, I guess.Math tutoring available. Only $6! per hour! First lesson: Factorials! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #20 August 5, 2008 QuoteQuoteI said entertain ME! Asstrumpets... I didn't realize a deaf guy would find farts humorous (not even BillyVance). You learn something everyday, I guess. He can feel them. So - did the guy you were looking for ever see you?I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Leapinglizardto 0 #21 August 5, 2008 You guys are really wound-up today. Brutal, fuckin' brutal I tell ya! Dammit I knew I should have posted that dizzy.com poll/contest I was toying with this morning. It's pretty pathetic when you have to TELL people you're fucking cool Skymama «narrative»This thread will lock in 3..2.. What a load of narrow-minded Xenophobic Bullshit!-squeak Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #22 August 6, 2008 Quote Quote Quote I said entertain ME! Asstrumpets... I didn't realize a deaf guy would find farts humorous (not even BillyVance). You learn something everyday, I guess. He can feel them. So - did the guy you were looking for ever see you? Funny story about that. I was standing outside the gate where the people enter the concourse from the plane. I knew I was in the right place when I saw a few people wearing blue UK shirts or hats (flight was from Lexington, Kentucky). But I never saw the guy I was supposed to meet. I was like what the fuck is going on? I texted my supervisor who then contacted his family in KY and they confirmed they put him on the plane. So after 10 minutes of being brutally patient with the frazzled boarding agent, she finally told me that he had been escorted directly to baggage claims via a short-cut. Aw fuck... I wasted my time getting the security clearance in the first place. But then again, I didn't make it clear with them that I was there to meet and escort him, thus taking him off their hands. So, I rush back to baggage claims. If you've been to Atlanta airport, you know what a big cluster fuck that place is. I walked in a circle around the perimeter of the south baggage area where he's supposed to be. Did not see him, but by some stroke of luck I spied his suitcase on the circular conveyor belt, without looking for it. Is that weird? Finding a suitcase being easier than finding the guy? Finally after 10 minutes, I found him. He was so happy to finally have someone he could talk with. So... 10 hours on the clock yesterday. A weekend's worth of jumps earned. It better be worth it. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 226 #23 August 6, 2008 That story need some background music . . .I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 892 #24 August 6, 2008 Good thing you saw HIM!!! man, you could make a movie out of this experience. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 35 #25 August 6, 2008 Quote Good thing you saw HIM!!! man, you could make a movie out of this experience. That made me think of the Tom Hanks movie where he's stuck in an airport for months. But nah, it's nothing that dramatic anyway. I knew what he looked like, it was just a matter of finding him in a sea of moving humanity. I hate giant airports in that regard. Now if he would carry a gps beacon, that would make it that much easier to find him. Hmmm, I know the idea is already out there in some working form. GPS transmitters for individuals to carry where if they're lost, people can find them?"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites