The hardest job in the world!!

[mnealtx 0]

From the intarwebz.

PARENT - Job Description

POSITION :
Mom, Mommy, Mama, Ma
Dad, Daddy, Dada, Pa, Pop

JOB DESCRIPTION :

Long term, team players needed, for challenging, permanent work in an often chaotic environment.
Candidates must possess excellent communication and organizational skills and be willing to work variable hours, which will include evenings and weekends and frequent 24 hour shifts on call.
Some overnight travel required, including trips to primitive camping sites on rainy weekends and endless sports tournaments in far away cities!
Travel expenses not reimbursed.
Extensive courier duties also required.

RESPONSIBILITIES :

The rest of your life.
Must be willing to be hated, at least temporarily, until someone needs $5.
Must be willing to bite tongue repeatedly.
Also, must possess the physical stamina of a pack mule and be able to go from zero to 60 mph in three seconds flat in case, this time, the screams from the backyard are not someone just crying wolf.
Must be willing to face stimulating technical challenges, such as small gadget repair, mysteriously sluggish toilets and stuck zippers.
Must screen phone calls, maintain calendars and coordinate production of multiple homework projects.
Must have ability to plan and organize social gatherings for clients of all ages and mental outlooks.
Must be a willing to be indispensable one minute, an embarrassment the next.
Must handle assembly and product safety testing of a half million cheap, plastic toys, and battery operated devices.
Must always hope for the best but be prepared for the worst.
Must assume final, complete accountability for the quality of the end product.
Responsibilities also include floor maintenance and janitorial work throughout the facility.

POSSIBILITY FOR ADVANCEMENT & PROMOTION :

None.

Your job is to remain in the same position for years, without complaining, constantly retraining and updating your skills,
so that those in your charge can ultimately surpass you.

PREVIOUS EXPERIENCE :

None required unfortunately.
On-the-job training offered on a continually exhausting basis.

WAGES AND COMPENSATION :

Get this! You pay them!
Offering frequent raises and bonuses.
A balloon payment is due when they turn 18 because of the assumption that college will help them become financially independent.
When you die, you give them whatever is left.
The oddest thing about this reverse-salary scheme is that you actually enjoy it and wish you could only do more.

BENEFITS :

While no health or dental insurance, no pension, no tuition reimbursement, no paid holidays and no stock options are offered;
this job supplies limitless opportunities for personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life if you play your cards right.

** AND A FOOTNOTE 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT - - EVER!!! **

Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

[boinky 0]

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** AND A FOOTNOTE 'THERE IS NO RETIREMENT - - EVER!!! **

Sure there is....when you (or hopefully not them) DIE!![/B][/BLACK]

Nina

Are we called "DAWGs" because we stick our noses up people's butts? (RIP Buzz)
Yep, you're a postwhore-billyvance

[porpoishead 8]

WORD!!!

if you want a friend feed any animal
Perry Farrell

[Conundrum 1]

Good one. I can agree with that.

[Unstable 9]

HAHAHA!! And all you have to do is Screw someone to get the job!

Man, this application process is Easy!

=========Shaun ==========

[millertime24 8]

Thats why you have to take all precautionary measures available to ensure your never roped into this carrear field.

Sex trophies (kids) are nothing more than a black hole for emotion, money, and time out of your life.

Muff #5048

[Glitch 0]

And I couldn't disagree more.

Randomly f'n thingies up since before I was born...

[sickandtwisted 0]

I thought the worst job was Johnson & Johnson who individually test their Rectal Thermometers

Skymama stalker #69!!!!

[Orchid 0]

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BENEFITS :
Offering frequent bonuses!
personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life.

Everything else sums it up just about right, however, there are great benefits to be had - IF you practice patience & understanding! You reap the reward of:

~breakfast in bed
~mom, I'll make you dinner ~limitless supplies of praise (I love you, Mom)
~here's your Sunday paper

"Love is doing small things with great love."

Lacrosse: Legally beating men with sticks since 1492

[vskydiver 0]

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BENEFITS :
Offering frequent bonuses!
personal growth, unconditional love, and free hugs and kisses for life.

Everything else sums it up just about right, however, there are great benefits to be had - IF you practice patience & understanding! You reap the reward of:

~breakfast in bed
~mom, I'll make you dinner ~limitless supplies of praise (I love you, Mom)
~here's your Sunday paper

You don't have teen-agers yet do ya? Enjoy that while you can.

[Orchid 0]

Hehehe....my son is 13 going on 14...does that count as teenager?

"Love is doing small things with great love."

Lacrosse: Legally beating men with sticks since 1492

[vskydiver 0]

Nope, it doesn't really hit until about 15 and a half. Then your in trouble. I've gone through it with three so far. My youngest is turning 15 next month and so far she's still OK.

[Orchid 0]

Ok...warning noted!!! Thanks.

"Love is doing small things with great love."

Lacrosse: Legally beating men with sticks since 1492

[DangerRoo 0]

V, you have great kids! you and john have done fantastic jobs in raising them

(I.C.D#2 VP)
""I'm good with my purple penis straw" ~sky mama

[vskydiver 0]

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V, you have great kids! you and john have done fantastic jobs in raising them

Awe Thanks Roo! Yes, I'll agree, they are really good kids. Their teen years could be WAY worse. But they are still ornery, grumpy and think their parents are stupid. It's kind of heart breaking when they go through that stage. I realize they have to in order for them to leave but it's still a really tough stage to endure after all those wonderful years.

[StreetScooby 5]

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Nope, it doesn't really hit until about 15 and a half. Then your in trouble.

Oh, good gracious. Son is 13, daughter is 10, daughter is 8. Think I'll just have my nervous breakdown now and get it over with...

We are all engines of karma

[vskydiver 0]

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Nope, it doesn't really hit until about 15 and a half. Then your in trouble.

Oh, good gracious. Son is 13, daughter is 10, daughter is 8. Think I'll just have my nervous breakdown now and get it over with...

NO! Don't go there until you have to. Just enjoy every day you have with them while they are young. Spend as much time with them. Cherish every moment until it happens. Their youth goes by so fast! Then you can look back on all the good times and hang on to those until they get over it when they are teens. That's what I'm doing. Holding out until they become human again.

[JohnMitchell 16]

Hey, we have a 20 YO since last Saturday. Woo hoo!

[skyh2omedic 0]

When i started this jump from plane stuff and old jumpmaster said "if you want the ultimate thrill then you have to take the ultimate risk"
Parenting is the toughest job and it is the most rewarding. Non stop humor, tears, worries, laughs, memories and a full range of emotions. Mine are 20 and 18-Give them roots and give them wings and enjoy everyday. If i could line the stars up right and do it again i'd have six.

"You can't teach what you don't know and you can't lead where you won't go"