Those little sauce packets

[BillyVance 35]

Just took home lunch from Taco Bell. Taking out the hot sauce packets I requested, I noticed each had a quote or saying printed on them.

"Ahhh... we meet again."

"This space for rent. Inquire within."

Interesting enough, then the last one caught my eye:

"Will you marry me?"

What the hell? Sounds like a redneck thing to do.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[millertime24 8]

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"Ahhh... we meet again."

Thats what that sauce tells my asshole after eating taco bell.

Muff #5048

[Nutz 0]

That first one is a quote from Stewie. "Ahh, incisor, we meet again"

"Don't! Get! Eliminated!"

[dixiegypsy 0]

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"Will you marry me?"

OMG! of course i will.. i really wasn't expecting this...over the forums, no less.

i'm thinking a winter wedding..december maybe

"Love all. Trust few. Do wrong to none." -Shakespeare

Gold Coast Skydivers
Pink Mafia #176

[iopenhi 0]

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Quote

"Will you marry me?"

OMG! of course i will.. i really wasn't expecting this...over the forums, no less.

i'm thinking a winter wedding..december maybe

Be careful there, Billy. I suspect she only wants you for your Alabama Cruise Liner.

You can't make chicken salad out of chicken manure.

[DangerRoo 0]

Quote

Quote

Quote

"Will you marry me?"

OMG! of course i will.. i really wasn't expecting this...over the forums, no less.

i'm thinking a winter wedding..december maybe

Be careful there, Billy. I suspect she only wants you for your Alabama Cruise Liner.

lol perfect!!! they already have the honeymoon set

(I.C.D#2 VP)
""I'm good with my purple penis straw" ~sky mama

[NickDG 23]

Oh, those little sauce packets . . .

I can never see or even think of those without remembering a time a group of us lived on them for a day and a half.

We were at the old Ramona DZ when the phone rang late in the afternoon. There was a Jeep Safari going on out in the desert on the other side of the mountains and, "Could we send over some parachutists to jump in?"

Spur of the moment demos are never a good idea and this one would be no exception.

We'd already cut loose the FJC class until tomorrow as it was too windy and cloudy. We had a good IFR rated pilot although the front door C-206 had a very stripped down panal and didn’t have all the gizmos one needs for flight into clouds. But the low ceiling was still somewhat broken and we were all wearing parachutes so what the hell, we departed. We got above the clouds easily enough and headed west. There was a small abandoned airstrip about twenty miles from where the Jeeps are and we'd get rides and meet the airplane back there.

Once past the mountains and into the desert it was severe clear. We found the Jeeps and five of us jumped, landed all right, got big cheers, and then drank and drove around in the Jeeps for awhile. We got a ride to the airstrip and the pilot said the WX was looking iffy but we'd go take a look and try to find a hole. We'd packed after the demo, and although it was beginning to get dark we planned on jumping back into the DZ.

We took off and climbed out over the mountains heading west. About ten minutes into the flight one of the jumpers announced he had to pee really badly. We looked around but there wasn't a suitable vessel onboard and you can't pee in leather Frappe Hat because they leak. (Don't ask how I know that). He said he'd just pee out the door but the pilot said no as it would get all over the side of the airplane and also blow back through the door.

He held it for a while but he was really hurting. He then said he'd climb out on the strut and pee and everyone thought that was an okay idea. So he unzipped his jumpsuit and dug out his dong and climbed out on the jump step. We were all laughing our asses off as he was trying to turn sideways away from the door and looking to find some clean airflow.

I was just thinking how shitty it would be if he fell off, and he did, right then. I stuck my head out and just caught sight of him disappearing into the clouds. We all then just looked at each other in disbelief with big wide eyeballs. It was almost dark now and there were big mountains below us. Holy shit!

The pilot keyed his mic right away and called SoCal Approach. "Ah, Approach; we just had a parachutist accidentally depart the aircraft." I could only hear one side of the conversation but it was a real corker. "Yes, he was wearing a parachute." Pause. "No, we are en-route." Longer pause. "No, we didn't see him open." Really long pause. And then he gave our position as best he could . . .

We then talked over our next move. But there wasn't much we could do. Turning back to the airstrip didn’t sound great because it wasn't lighted so we kept going toward Ramona. We then all sat back in silence. We were about 7500-feet when he fell, and there are five and six thousand foot mountains every where below us. Someone picked up his Frapp hat and we all looked at it. We were all thinking the same thing although no one said it. We were pretty sure he was dead.

The pilot was trying to get our lone VOR receiver to work and it wasn't. I'm an A&P mechanic so I snaked my arm up under the panel and was jiggling the wires, but I over jiggled and now we had smoke in the cockpit. We pulled out the circuit breaker and got that under control, but I'm thinking, oh man, what next?

Once on the other side of the mountains there was nothing. No holes, no lights, just a solid overcast below us. We headed toward what we thought was a few other airports but there was really no way to let down through the clouds. I looked over at the fuel gauges and then at the pilot. He nodded his head and we both knew we'd have to return to the abandoned strip in the desert and we had to do it right now.

On the way back east we asked the pilot to call in and see if there was any word. They had the sheriffs and the fire department out looking for him but it was rough terrain, nighttime now, and rough going.

Our nav lights on wings were working, but when I looked out the back window I could see the white nav light on the tail wasn't. "What about the landing light?" I asked the pilot. "I don't know," he said. "It worked the last time I checked it, but I'm going to save trying it until we really need it." I looked out into the moonless night, and although we'd been in the dark for awhile now I still couldn't really see much. There isn’t much down there in this part of the desert.

We found the airstrip by following a few lights that lined the road that led to it. A couple of the guys wanted to jump, but I nixed that idea. Nothing was going our way and the last thing we needed was another bad decision. We turned final over where we thought the airstrip should be and at a few hundred feet the pilot hit the landing light. And it worked. As we got lower we could see we were wide to the right so he skidded over and we landed okay. Now we all had to pee . . .

About an hour later a sheriff in a Bronco pulled up. He told us they had everybody they could get out looking but so far there was no sign of him. "Have you guys been drinking?" he asked. The pilot said we were, but he wasn't, and that basically we were just passengers and that seemed okay with the cop. We all piled into the Bronco and he took us to hotel/restaurant that was about 45 minutes away. Except for the pilot who decided to spend the night with the aircraft.

On the way we could hear the radio chatter on the search. And nothing was sounding good.

Once we got to the hotel we realized no one had any money, no one even had a wallet or credit card. After all we'd gotten into the plane to jump and figured we'd be back in a few hours. And the innkeeper was a real jerk. "Yup, I know your type, you'll fly away in that plane of yours and I'll never see my money." He did eventually give us a room as it was starting to get pretty cold outside. Once inside the room one of the jumpers produced a condiment container he swiped off a table and we dined on ketchup, relish and jelly.

I'd have killed for a cracker . . .

It was getting on to about 10: PM and eventually we all drifted off to sleep. But it was a fitful sleep as it had been a real bad day. Then some hours later there was a banging at the door. Once opened there was two cops and our lost friend. He was bruised, he's clothes were torn, and he was limping a bit, but he was very much alive! We asked if they cops could swing by and let the pilot know, and they agreed.

Then we settled in to hear the story . . .

"For the first few seconds," he began, "I couldn’t believe I actually fell off." "Then I realized I didn’t really know where the ground was and I needed to get something out. But I had my dick hanging out and I was afraid if I pulled the zipper on my jumpsuit would lop it off! So I fumbled around in the clouds for a few seconds but settled for just hanging onto myself with one hand and throwing out my main with the other."

We were all spellbound at this point.

"Then once I opened I put myself away and realized I was still in the clouds. I popped my brakes, pulled down to just above the stall point, and just tried to keep flying straight. And after about what seemed like 45 seconds, or so, I just crashed into the ground. I was on a steep hill and started tumbling down in the dark and that was the first time I got really scared. But I eventually stopped and just laid there. I could hear you guys flying away."

We then explained what was going on with us at that point and he continued. "I knew down was the best way to go so I gathered up my gear and started picking my way along. I made it about five minutes before I said the hell with the gear and just dumped it. I couldn’t see five feet in front of me and after a bit I was sweating so I took off my jumpsuit and dumped that too. After about three hours I made it down to where it was flat and just headed toward the one lone light I saw. After another hour I came to a road and just kept walking. I could see cars in the distance but they were a long way off. Finally the cops you saw came down the road and saw me. They gave me some water, but have you guys got anything to eat?"

"Sure bro, here - have a relish . . .

NickD

[dixiegypsy 0]

haha that definitely sounds like a crazy night! might be some of the worst decisions i've ever heard, but at least yall lived to tell the tale!

ps- you are a great storyteller!

"Love all. Trust few. Do wrong to none." -Shakespeare

Gold Coast Skydivers
Pink Mafia #176

[stitch 0]

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ps- you are a great storyteller!

Two timing wench.

"No cookies for you"- GFD
"I don't think I like the sound of that" ~ MB65
Don't be a "Racer Hater"

[dixiegypsy 0]

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Two timing wench.

*gasp* i would never.

"Love all. Trust few. Do wrong to none." -Shakespeare

Gold Coast Skydivers
Pink Mafia #176

[porpoishead 8]

fucking A nick

those little sauce packets indeed!!

if you want a friend feed any animal
Perry Farrell

[chrismgtis 0]

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We were at the old Ramona DZ when the phone rang late in the afternoon. There was a Jeep Safari going on out in the desert on the other side of the mountains and, "Could we send over some parachutists to jump in?"

See that is a kick ass story if it's true. That's the kind of stories I wanted to hear in the thread I posted in General Skydiving.

I need to print this out and show it to some of the guys on the DZ. This better not be fiction.

Rodriguez Brother #1614, Muff Brother #4033
Jumped: Twin Otter, Cessna 182, CASA, Helicopter, Caravan

[Nutz 0]

There is no way that story is true, it is a good one though. Billy, I have been thinking about this, how old are you? You just now noticed there is writing on the Taco Bell sauce packets?

"Don't! Get! Eliminated!"

[NickDG 23]

You can believe it or not, but . . .

~There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, Than are dreamt of in your philosophy.~

~Shakespeare

NickD