Tuesday Humor

[millertime24 8]

The Washington Post runs a weekly contest in its Style section called the "Style Invitational". The requirements this week were to use the two words 'Lewinsky' (the Intern) and 'Kaczynski' (the Unabomber) in the same limerick. Now, remember, the following winning entries were actually printed verbatim in the newspaper, no bleeps or XXXs:

Third place:
There once was a girl named Lewinsky
Who played on a flute like Stravinsky
'Twas "Hail to the Chief"
On this flute made of beef
That stole the front page from Kaczynski.

Second place:
Said Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky,
"We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski,
Since you made such a mess,
Use the hem of your dress
And please wipe that stuff off your chinsky."

And the winning entry:
Lewinsky and Clinton have shown
What Kaczynski must surely have known,
That an intern is better
Than a bomb in a letter
When deciding how best to be blown.

Muff #5048

[gonzalesna 1]

You'll be receiving a bill from the government for a new keyboard and monitor as the one I was using was destroyed by my soda. Remember that all govornment spending will be greatly inflated, so you can expect your bill to be in excess of $1,000,000. I reccommend you talk to joyce10 about assistance in paying the said bill.









[Humor disclaimer: Any and all references to joyce10 and offers from joyce10 were for humor purposes only. At no time was the inclination to contact joyce10 in any way serious. Poster takes no responsibility for actions actually taken resulting in either positive or negative effects with joyce10.]

Some people refrain from beating a dead horse. Personally, I find a myriad of entertainment value when beating it until it becomes a horse-smoothie.

[BillyVance 35]

Awesome limericks!!!

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[happythoughts 0]

A man charges into a bank wearing a ski mask and wielding a handgun. "This is a bank robbery - everyone get on the floor!", and proceeds to empty the cash drawers.

As he runs towards the door with the loot, a brave customer yanks off his mask. The robber immediately shoots the customer in the head and shouts "Did anybody else here see my face?".

The robber notices another customer peering from behind a counter and goes over and shoots him in the head also.
"Did anybody else see my face?" He shouts again, waving his gun around.

There is a silence for a few seconds before a male voice is heard from a distant corner.

"I think my wife caught a glimpse..."