It's time to de-fluff the bonfire

[cocheese 0]

No more holding back. If you have something funny to say, then say it. Too much comedy is lost because people are afraid to use their twisted sense of humor.

We are skydivers. This isn't 1st grade. No more political correctness, No more only posting bandwagon fluff bull shit. Break out the tough love.

The fire is fading fast because there are no flames, no friction, no heat. Just a bunch of fire retardant fluff.

If you can't take the heat here, go to the women's forum and bake something in your 25 watt Easy Bake Oven.

[normiss 892]

I thought Easy Bakes Ovens had 40 watt bulbs in them?

fuck.

[ladydyver 0]

Quote

No more holding back. If you have something funny to say, then say it. Too much comedy is lost because people are afraid to use their twisted sense of humor.

We are skydivers. This isn't 1st grade. No more political correctness, No more only posting bandwagon fluff bull shit. Break out the tough love.

The fire is fading fast because there are no flames, no friction, no heat. Just a bunch of fire retardant fluff.

If you can't take the heat here, go to the women's forum and bake something in your 25 watt Easy Bake Oven.

I always liked playing with my ez bake oven. Never burned anything like I do now.

DPH # 2
"I am not sure what you are suppose to do with that, but I don't think it is suppose to flop around like that." ~Skootz~
I have a strong regard for the rules.......doc!

[cocheese 0]

I heard you can make a single cup cake with one in about 8 hours. Suckin up the cakes.

[BillyVance 35]

How's this?

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[normiss 892]

My little sister used to get sofa king pissed at me for making my Creepy Crawlers in her Easy Bake Oven....
"MOOOOM!!!! Mark's making bugs in my oven again!"

[ladydyver 0]

Quote

How's this?

maybe what we need is another good thread about boobies....they are what makes the world go round after all

DPH # 2
"I am not sure what you are suppose to do with that, but I don't think it is suppose to flop around like that." ~Skootz~
I have a strong regard for the rules.......doc!

[cocheese 0]

I was going to mention you in this thread. You're one of the few that didn't sell out to the fluff generation.
People, we can learn a lot from Billy. His posts represent the freedom of sick comedy to the fullest.

[guppie01 0]

How to Poop at Work

We've all been there but don't like to admit it. We've all
kicked back in our cubicles and suddenly felt something brewing
down below. As much as we try to convince ourselves otherwise,
the WORK POOP is inevitable. For those who hate pooping at
work, following is the Survival Guide for taking a dump at
work.

*CROP DUSTING* When farting, you walk really fast around the
office so the smell is not in your area and everyone else gets
a whiff, but doesn't know where it came from. Be careful when
you do this. Do not stop until the full fart has been expelled.
Walk an extra 30 feet to make sure the smell has left your
pants.

*FLY BY* The act of scouting out a bathroom before pooping.
Walk in and check for other poopers. If there are others in the
bathroom, leave and come back again. Be careful not to become a
FREQUENT FLYER. People may become suspicious if they catch you
constantly going into the bathroom.

*ESCAPEE* A fart that slips out while taking a pee or forcing a
poop in a stall. This is usually accompanied by a sudden wave
of embarrassment. If you release an escapee, do not acknowledge
it. Pretend it did not happen. If you are a man and are
standing next to the farter in the urinal, pretend you did not
hear it. No one likes an escapee. It is uncomfortable for all
involved. Making a joke or laughing makes both parties feel
uneasy.

*JAILBREAK* When forcing a poop, several farts slip out at a
machine gun pace. This is usually a side effect of diarrhea or
a hangover. If this should happen, do not panic. Remain in the
stall until everyone has left the bathroom to spare everyone
the awkwardness of what just occurred.

*COURTESY FLUSH* The act of flushing the toilet the instant the
poop hits the water. This reduces the amount of air time the
poop has to stink up the bathroom. This can help you avoid
being caught doing the WALK OF SHAME.

*WALK OF SHAME* Walking from the stall, to the sink, to the
door after you have just stunk up the bathroom. This can be a
very uncomfortable moment if someone walks in and busts you. As
with farts, it is best to pretend that the smell does not
exist. Can be avoided with the use of the COURTESY FLUSH.

*OUT OF THE CLOSET POOPER* A colleague who poops at work and is
Doggone proud of it. You will often see an Out Of The Closet
Pooper enter the bathroom with a newspaper or magazine under
their arm. Always look around the office for the Out Of The
Closet Pooper before entering the bathroom.

*THE POOPING FRIENDS NETWORK (P.F.N)* A group of co-workers who
band together to ensure emergency pooping goes off without
incident. This group can help you to monitor the whereabouts of
Out Of The Closet Poopers, and identify SAFE HAVENS.

*SAFE HAVENS* A seldom used bathroom somewhere in the building
where you can least expect visitors. Try floors that are
predominantly of the opposite sex. This will reduce the odds of
a pooper of your sex entering the bathroom.

*TURD BURGLAR* Someone who does not realize that you are in
the stall and tries to force the door open. This is one of the
most shocking and vulnerable moments that can occur when taking
a poop at work. If this occurs, remain in the stall until the
Turd Burglar leaves. This way you will avoid all uncomfortable
eye contact.

*CAMO-COUGH* A phony cough that alerts all new entrants into
the bathroom that you are in a stall. This can be used to
cover-up a WATERMELON, or to alert potential Turd Burglars.
Very effective when used in conjunction with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE.

*SHIRLEY TEMPLE* A subtle toe-tapping that is used to alert
potential Turd Burglars that you are occupying a stall. This
will remove all doubt that the stall is occupied. If you hear a
SHIRLEY TEMPLE, leave the bathroom immediately so the pooper
can poop in peace.

*WATERMELON* A poop that creates a loud splash when hitting the
toilet water. This is also an embarrassing incident. If y ou
feel a Watermelon coming on, create a diversion See
CAMO-COUGH.

*HAVANA-OMELET* A case of diarrhea that creates a series of
loud splashes in the toilet water. Often accompanied by an
Escapee. Try using a CAMO-COUGH with a SHIRLEY TEMPLE.

*AUNT BETTY* A bathroom user who seems to linger around
forever...Could spend extended lengths of time in front of the
mirror or sitting on the pot. An AUNT BETTY makes it difficult
to relax while on the crapper, as you should always wait to
poop when the bathroom is empty. This benefits you as well as
the other bathroom attendees.


SOME VARIETIES OF POOP YOU SHOULD BE AWARE OF~

The King Poop = This kind is the kind of poop that killed
Elvis. It doesn't come until you're all sweaty, trembling and purple from
straining so hard.

Bali Belly Poop = You poop so much you lose 5 lbs.

Cement Block = You wish you'd gotten a spinal block before you
poop.

Cork Poop (Also Known as Floater Poop) = Even after the third
flush, it's still floating in there. How do I get rid of it?
This poop usually happens at someone else's house.

The Bungee Poop = The kind of poop that just hangs off your
ass before it falls into the water.

The Crippler = The kind o f poop where you have to sit on the
toilet so long your legs go numb from the waist down.

The Chitty Chitty Bang Bang = The kind of poop that hits you
when you're trapped in your car in a traffic jam.

The Party Pooper = The giant poop you take at a party. And when
you flush the toilet, you watch in horror as the water starts
to rise.

NOW EVERYONE TRY TO GO POOP IN PEACE

QUIT LAUGHING... POOPING IS A NATURAL PROCESS


g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[ladydyver 0]

Quote

I was going to mention you in this thread. You're one of the few that didn't sell out to the fluff generation.
People, we can learn a lot from Billy. His posts represent the freedom of sick comedy to the fullest.

I just can't figure out where he finds some of this stuff

DPH # 2
"I am not sure what you are suppose to do with that, but I don't think it is suppose to flop around like that." ~Skootz~
I have a strong regard for the rules.......doc!

[BillyVance 35]

Quote

Quote

How's this?

maybe what we need is another good thread about boobies....they are what makes the world go round after all

Boobies.... hmmm here's a nice pair!

NSFW!!

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[BillyVance 35]

Quote

Quote

I was going to mention you in this thread. You're one of the few that didn't sell out to the fluff generation.
People, we can learn a lot from Billy. His posts represent the freedom of sick comedy to the fullest.

I just can't figure out where he finds some of this stuff

I'm one of the lucky ones.... I have my sources, and almost NEVER have to find this stuff.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[ladydyver 0]

Quote

Quote

Quote

How's this?

maybe what we need is another good thread about boobies....they are what makes the world go round after all

Boobies.... hmmm here's a nice pair!

NSFW!!

I could never compare

DPH # 2
"I am not sure what you are suppose to do with that, but I don't think it is suppose to flop around like that." ~Skootz~
I have a strong regard for the rules.......doc!

[d_squared431 0]

Quote

No more holding back. If you have something funny to say, then say it. Too much comedy is lost because people are afraid to use their twisted sense of humor.

We are skydivers. This isn't 1st grade. No more political correctness, No more only posting bandwagon fluff bull shit. Break out the tough love.

The fire is fading fast because there are no flames, no friction, no heat. Just a bunch of fire retardant fluff.

If you can't take the heat here, go to the women's forum and bake something in your 25 watt Easy Bake Oven.

Did you wake up on the wrong side of the cheese truck today?

TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1
I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH
You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly

[d_squared431 0]

TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1
I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH
You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly

[cocheese 0]

Walt would be proud. Now that's our Gia.

Question, Do old couples really call each other "Poopsie"?

[cocheese 0]

There are cheese trucks?

Hey i saw a fire engine truck on the news that has a pizza oven and a beer tap.

[Halfpastniner 0]

Saw this in one of Kallends Posts.....

I can see how it may be offensive to some, but i thought it was really funny!

"Plot to kidnap presidential candidate discovered"

BASE 1384

[guppie01 0]

Quote

Walt would be proud. Now that's our Gia.

Question, Do old couples really call each other "Poopsie"?

LOL... dunno, but my Gramma has the most deadly farts on earth - silent and deadly. WHEW~

In HS I had a nickname gtoot.

teeeheeeeee

g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[LadiDadi 0]

So I was talking to a friend of mine this weekend. He was telling me about a horror story that he was an unwitting participant in at work.

Keep in mind he works at "the world's largest (and most often sued) software company". This is a company where the pay is good, the benefits rock and you can pretty much come and go as you please - set your own hours kind of thing. They also could care less if you show up in your pajamas and fuzzy slippers as long as you get the job done.

Anyway...

So my friend goes into the men's room on Thursday to spend some time on the crapper. He goes in and does what he needs to do noticing that someone who has come in after him is spending a lot of time at the sink. My friend finally exits the stall to see a guy at the sink washing the butt of his pants and underwear. The guy sharted and was doing his laundry in the sink.

What the fuck?!? GO HOME!! Seriously. Is there anything in the world that would prevent you from GOING HOME?!? Do you really think that your presence at the company is that valuable that you have to stand at the bathroom sink naked from the waist down and wash your pants in the sink? If you were that valuable, you'd probably have your own bathroom.

Sad thing about it all is that my friend works with this guy and now has to see him every day.

If you can't laugh at yourself, I'll be happy to do it for you.
****************************
Be like the cupcake and suck it up.

[guppie01 0]

Bwahahahahahahahahahahahah




g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[downwardspiral 0]

I agree! I've been trying to get the new girl to show us her boobs and noone is helping me out. Come on guys! Even gay men like to take a gander at some boobs from time to time.

www.FourWheelerHB.com

[normiss 892]

We're going to need proof of your research sir.

[bfilarsky 0]

Is this sick and twisted enough for you?

[cocheese 0]

yes.