pirana 0 #26 November 14, 2008 Don't know you or him, so don't mean to offend; but, is he psychotic? Violent? Be careful with an ultimatum that could push a desperate and whacked out person over the edge. Yes, he's your dad; but still. Plenty of examples of people doing the unthinkable. Don't become tommorows sensational headline." . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 3 #27 November 14, 2008 Quote Don't know you or him, so don't mean to offend; but, is he psychotic? Violent? Be careful with an ultimatum that could push a desperate and whacked out person over the edge. Yes, he's your dad; but still. Plenty of examples of people doing the unthinkable. Don't become tommorows sensational headline. No offense taken, but thanks for the preemptive apology. He is not psychotic/violent. He has a hot temper, but he cools off as quickly as he gets hot. Then again, do you ever really know what someone is capable of until they are in the context of the situation. Am I sure that he will not become violent towards my mother? 99.9% sure that he won't. But that .1% makes me wonder. To another reply in this thread: No I am not female. My thought is still to try to keep my mom out of this UNLESS he doesn't quit cheating. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tetra316 0 #28 November 14, 2008 Quote Quote Don't know you or him, so don't mean to offend; but, is he psychotic? Violent? Be careful with an ultimatum that could push a desperate and whacked out person over the edge. Yes, he's your dad; but still. Plenty of examples of people doing the unthinkable. Don't become tommorows sensational headline. My thought is still to try to keep my mom out of this UNLESS he doesn't quit cheating. Bad idea. Put it another way. If your girlfriend/wife was cheating on you and a friend knew that - it is okay that they not tell you as long as she tells the friend she won't do it again. You would not want to know she cheated on you...?? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
caress 0 #29 November 14, 2008 Quote My thought is still to try to keep my mom out of this UNLESS he doesn't quit cheating. and I want to say that SkyMamma just got through saying that she (your mom) should get tested for STD's ( she is right) Are you going to keep your eyes from whelling up when your mom comes to you and says-" I have Herpes and I dont know how I got it" ? Just a thought-Caress It is ultimatly your call but THIS IS YOUR MOTHER! I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AtomF 0 #30 November 14, 2008 Quote Quote Quote Don't know you or him, so don't mean to offend; but, is he psychotic? Violent? Be careful with an ultimatum that could push a desperate and whacked out person over the edge. Yes, he's your dad; but still. Plenty of examples of people doing the unthinkable. Don't become tommorows sensational headline. My thought is still to try to keep my mom out of this UNLESS he doesn't quit cheating. Bad idea. Put it another way. If your girlfriend/wife was cheating on you and a friend knew that - it is okay that they not tell you as long as she tells the friend she won't do it again. You would not want to know she cheated on you...?? Quoted for truth :/ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #31 November 14, 2008 Quote Quote Don't know you or him, so don't mean to offend; but, is he psychotic? Violent? Be careful with an ultimatum that could push a desperate and whacked out person over the edge. Yes, he's your dad; but still. Plenty of examples of people doing the unthinkable. Don't become tommorows sensational headline. No offense taken, but thanks for the preemptive apology. He is not psychotic/violent. He has a hot temper, but he cools off as quickly as he gets hot. Then again, do you ever really know what someone is capable of until they are in the context of the situation. Am I sure that he will not become violent towards my mother? 99.9% sure that he won't. But that .1% makes me wonder. To another reply in this thread: No I am not female. My thought is still to try to keep my mom out of this UNLESS he doesn't quit cheating. This is unrealistic thinking. It is not a place you should put yourself. No good will come from you handling this your way. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #32 November 14, 2008 One last thought. lets say you pull this off and get him to agree to stop. What do you think is going to happen if your mom finds out later and finds out you knew. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 3 #33 November 17, 2008 Wanted to say thank you for the advice and kind words from those who've sent me some PMs, and a quick update. Met with him, he denied everything, lied to my face, etc. Next day I talked to my mom. Told her everything, showed her the proof. She's planning to sleep on it for a few days to decide what to do. Her reaction was not the typical one. She laughed, called him a ****ing idiot, said she's been suspecting it for a while now, and thanked me for being in her corner. Knowing what their relationship has been like, I'm not surprised at her seemingly reserved reaction. The kicker? I told my stepbrother, who I thought deserved to know what's going on, and he is taking my mom's side 100%. Considering she's been more than a real mother to him, I'm not surprised. Once again, thank you everyone for your advice. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #34 November 17, 2008 Quote Wanted to say thank you for the advice and kind words from those who've sent me some PMs, and a quick update. Met with him, he denied everything, lied to my face, etc. Next day I talked to my mom. Told her everything, showed her the proof. She's planning to sleep on it for a few days to decide what to do. Her reaction was not the typical one. She laughed, called him a ****ing idiot, said she's been suspecting it for a while now, and thanked me for being in her corner. Knowing what their relationship has been like, I'm not surprised at her seemingly reserved reaction. The kicker? I told my stepbrother, who I thought deserved to know what's going on, and he is taking my mom's side 100%. Considering she's been more than a real mother to him, I'm not surprised. Once again, thank you everyone for your advice. Please keep us updated, as a former child of a cheating parent (dad) and former wife of a cheating husband, I know and understand firsthand how much hurt and damage this can cause, and not only to the one being cheated on... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 3 #35 November 17, 2008 Quote Please keep us updated, as a former child of a cheating parent (dad) and former wife of a cheating husband, I know and understand firsthand how much hurt and damage this can cause, and not only to the one being cheated on... thanks Mama, and I'm sorry you've had to deal with this not once, but twice in your life. As strange as it may sound, at this point I don't care what happens in my relationship with him. I do care what happens between my mom and him. My mother definitely comes first in this situation. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rookie120 0 #36 November 17, 2008 I say you blackmail him for some cash first. Get some cash before you drop the bomb on him. If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
dive_craver50 0 #37 November 17, 2008 You should confront him - what a louse! The most important thing is your Mom & helping her through this but he needs to be a man, step up & be honest. Good luck....and good for you for taking him on, what a coward he is! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #38 November 17, 2008 Glad to hear you took action! At least it's up to them to work out at this point.TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydemon2 0 #39 November 18, 2008 Im not really surprised she suspected it, my first thought when you posted this was.... I bet she already knows.Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone! I like to start my day off with a little Ray of Soulshine™!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 3 #40 November 18, 2008 Well at this point she has decided to keep quiet for a little while, esp. with Thanksgiving and holidays coming up. She is planning to use that time to collect some more 'information.' And she's also planning to talk to a lawyer. In her field, she's seen too many cases where an older husband/younger wife divorce (she's turning 60 soon and he's 72 and not in great health), and because of age/health issues, the husband got a bigger share of the divorce settlement. My mom brings in probably 70-80% of the household income, so she wants to talk to a lawyer to find out what the law is here in terms of divorces, cheating, etc. My stepdad isn't a very ethical man in general (as some of you might have guessed) and if it DOES get to divorce, he'll be as unethical as humanly possible. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #41 November 18, 2008 take the S.O. B. to 5,000 feet...for a 60 second freefall.....THEN he may learn the GRAVITY of the situation....just my ....$ .02 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
npgraphicdesign 3 #42 November 18, 2008 Quote take the S.O. B. to 5,000 feet...for a 60 second freefall.....THEN he may learn the GRAVITY of the situation....just my ....$ .02 Your humor is inappropriate, corny, and pathetic. I love it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimmytavino 16 #43 November 18, 2008 corny and pathetic i can accept ...but you could be right about inappropriate, so i'll delete it...hell i don't even know the guy...none of my business.. sorry for the situation ... good luck... j Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
