kkeenan 14 #1 December 17, 2008 Hollywood Squares If you remember the original Hollywood Squares and it's comics, this may bring a tear to your eye. These great questions and answers are from the days when Hollywood Squares game show responses were spontaneous and clever [not scripted and often dull, as they are now]. The delightful Peter Marshall was the host asking the questions. ____________________ Q. Do female frogs croak? A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough. ____________________ Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be? A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it. ____________________ Q. True or False: A pea can last as long as 5,000 years. A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes. ____________________ Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman? A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake. ____________________ Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he is married? A. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning. ____________________ Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older? A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency. ____________________ Q. In Hawaiian, does it take more than three words to say "I Love You"? A. Vincent Price: No, you can say it with a pineapple and a twenty. ____________________ Q. What are "Do It," "I Can Help," and "I Can't Get Enough"? A. George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment. ____________________ Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking? A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget. ____________________ Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather? A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily. ____________________ Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year? A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries. ____________________ Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score? A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy. ____________________ Q. It is considered in bad taste to discuss two subjects at nudist camps. One is politics, what is the other? A. Paul Lynde: Tape measures. ____________________ Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet? A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom. ___________________ Q. Can boys join the Campfire Girls? A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out. ____________________ Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do? A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark? ____________________ Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to? A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark. ____________________ Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people? A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army. ____________________ Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it? A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn't neglected. ____________________ Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do? A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth. ____________________ Q. Who stays pregnant for a longer period of time, your wife or your elephant? A. Paul Lynde: Who told you about my elephant? ____________________ Q. When a couple have a baby, who is responsible for its sex? A. Charley Weaver: I'll lend him the car, the rest is up to him. ___________________ Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they? A. Charley Weaver: His feet. ____________________ Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed? A. Paul Lynde: Point and Laugh._____________________________________ Dude, you are so awesome... Can I be on your ash jump ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
micduran 0 #2 December 17, 2008 Paul Lynde was my favorite.Be patient with the faults of others; they have to be patient with yours. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SARLDO 0 #3 December 17, 2008 Thanks! I was just laughing so loud that everybody around me in this cube-farm thinks i've finally lost my mind. That show used to be awesome... whatever happened to quality telivision?"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest" ~Samuel Clemens MB#4300 Dudeist Skydiver #68 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #4 December 17, 2008 Wow, those names brought back memories. What a great game show that was. Very funny! Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #5 December 17, 2008 The best old school game show moment here Blues, Dave"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
