You just might be a Scrooge

[BillyVance 35]

If your only contact with three spirits on Christmas Eve is gin, vodka and bourbon -- you just might be a Scrooge

If you turn on the lawn sprinklers on Christmas Eve to keep carolers away -- you just might be a Scrooge

If you buy all of your Christmas gifts at a store that also sells gas -- you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite version of "Babes in Toyland" stars Michael Jackson - you just might be a Scrooge

If you get your Christmas Tree at a rest stop at night -- you just might be a Scrooge

If you give bathroom fixtures as Christmas gifts -- you just might be a Scrooge

If your prized Christmas ornament is Santa Claus shooting the moon -- you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite Christmas movie is Jurassic Park -- you just might be a Scrooge

If your idea of Christmas dinner is a six pack of beer and a cheese log -- you just might be a Scrooge

If you think "Ho, Ho, Ho" is a line from a Rocky movie -- you just might be a Scrooge

If your best Christmas tradition involves a fire and reindeer meat -- you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite version of "Silent Night" is sung by OJ Simpson -- you just might be a Scrooge

If your favorite past time is putting defective bulbs in your neighbors' string of Christmas lights or defacing Christmas lawn caricatures with egg nog - you just might be a Scrooge

And, finally - if your only holiday decoration is a rotting pumpkin -- you just might be a Scrooge

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban