happythoughts 0 #1 February 4, 2008 An Elderly couple were celebrating their sixtieth anniversary. The couple had married as childhood sweethearts and had moved back to their old neighborhood after they retired. Holding hands they walked back to their old school. It was not locked, so they entered, and found the old desk they'd shared, where Andy had carved "I love you, Sally." On their way back home, a bag of money fell out of an armored car, practically landing at their feet. Sally quickly picked it up, but not sure what to do with it, they took it home. There, she counted the money--fifty-thousand dollars. Andy said, "We've got to give it back." Sally said, "Finders keepers." She put the money back in the bag and hid it in their attic. The next day, two FBI men were canvassing the neighborhood looking for the money, and knocked on the door. "Pardon me, but did either of you find a bag that fell out of an armored car yesterday?" Sally said, "No." Andy said, "She's lying. She hid it up in the attic." Sally said, "Don't believe him, he's getting senile." The agents turn to Andy and began to question him. One says: "Tell us the story from the beginning." Andy said, "Well, when Sally and I were walking home from school yesterday ....... " The first FBI guy turns to his partner and says, "We're outta here." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #2 February 14, 2008 "My mom said I could..." Clicky mostly NSFW Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #3 February 26, 2009 Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, 'How many of you have forgiven your enemies?' 80% held up their hands. The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one small elderly lady. 'Miss Joyce''; 'Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?' I don't have any.' She replied, smiling sweetly. 'Miss Joyce', that is very unusual. How old are you?' 'Ninety-eight.' she replied. 'Oh, Miss. Joyce, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?' The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said: 'I outlived the bitches.' Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
