Am I being unreasonable??

[Nataly 38]

I've asked my house-mate not to make noise after 9pm because I'm studying for accountancy exams and need to be able to focus/study/sleep..

To put things into context.. I rent a room in a house, along with 2 other people. My room is actually a living-room, separated from the kitchen by thin wooden planks (not proper doors). It's also right by the entrance. As a result, it's the least sound-proof place you could possibly imagine.

When we were showing the place to potential tenants, we were clear that they had to be quiet, tidy and respectful. I explained I was studying and pointed out that they had to be particularly careful because of the set-up of my room..

The house-mate in question makes *lots* of noise.. Clanging pots & pans in the kitchen for midnight snacks.. Long showers at 11pm (the water tank is by my room as well & REALLY loud).. She runs the vacuum at midnight IN THE HALLWAY.. She's on the phone, in the kitchen at all hours.. She watches TV until the wee hours of the morning - the TV being in the kitchen, which is practically in my room.. She's unfuckingbelievably loud when she talks & never shuts the fuck up..

I've talked to her about it *several* times and asked her to consider that she is living with other people.. Her view is that *I'm* being unreasonable, because 9pm is not late and she should be able to do what she wants 'cause it's her house too..

(BTW, I'm looking for a new place, but wanted to put this on here to get different points of view..)

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[mrwrong 0]

Tell her to shut the fuck up and then bitch slap her!!!!

btw... Get video of the following cat fight and post it here

“The sum of intelligence on the planet is a constant; the population is growing.” - George Bernard Shaw
He who dies with the most toys, wins.....
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Buy quality and cry once!

[d_squared431 0]

9pm is the time I put the 8yr old to be. That is really early to expect a roommate to go to bed. 10-11 is more resonable on your part. The other person does pay their share of rent, correct? You can't expect others to change their daily routine especially if they have different work/ school hrs than you. It works both ways. You need to be a bit more flexible.

Now, on the other hand. If that were a roommate of mine I'd be pissed if I asked them and explained to them they were being too loud and they continued to ignore it. Who vacuums at midnight? There is a difference between a snack and cooking a meal using pots and pans. You can get mad at the roomamte for late night showers. The roommate may have just had a friend over or is about to have a friend over.

TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1
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[hcsvader 1]

ear plugs! or if it dosent bother your concentration listen to music with headphones.

I work nights and live with 3 other people in a very small house and wear my custom fit earplugs that i got from work. Works great!

Have you seen my pants?
it"s a rough life, Livin' the dream
>:)

[shropshire 0]

Quote

Who vaccumes at midnight ? .

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[skymama 37]

What about going to the library to study? I know it's old-fashioned, but it works if you want peace and quiet.

I think you two should sit down and draw up a compromise as to what are reasonable times that activities should be stopped. List everythng that you've put here, from the vacuuming to talking on the phone (can't she do that in her room with the door closed?). Remember that you're not going to "win" on every point, so pick the ones that are most important to you when you dig your heels in.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[jimmytavino 16]

I hate to say it Dear,,, But you ARE being unreasonable....

the theme of this post reminded me of the thread you began a while ago,,, in which you BLASted a housemate....over similar "inconsiderite" issues...

Me thinks, YOU need to live alone.. ..

sharing a house or an apartment is NOT easy...
and there are TWO sides to every story...
YES you should be able to study and read and do as you please, while at Home,,,
But you should Not be able to dictate what other housemates do while they are in Their home..
problem arises when One Place is HOME to many people,, especially people with different schedules , agendas...and personalities

I'm sure the finances of the time, and other considerations, may force one to be in a house sharing situation...which is tough... BUt if that's the case... I'd recommend finding friends to become housemates, instead of finding strangers, whom you "hope" can be friendly..
otherwise it is "every man for himself",, since no ONE persons situation is More important than anothers...
Good idea to find another place where you can silently read or study.. But everyone elses' life should not have to screech to a halt,, because of your current circumstance..Any chance that one of the housemates would consider swapping rooms with you, to alow you to have a more remote, or less centrally located room???
Is there any basement or attic space?? that you can convert to a study area???
Compromise isn't easy, but it IS a first step toward change,, and sure beats the hell out of moaning about a situation which you have had a hand in creating,,,( based on your need for solitude)
sorry for the bad news..
good luck on your exams..

.... edited to ammend.... IF this is YOUR house,, and YOU have arranged the details by which 'tenants' also occupy the place,, then,, there is some argument that you MAY set and enforce some guidelines, IF those details are explained, at the Outset....
But if you are a tenant yourself, as are the others,, then the fewer "rules" the better,,,
talk it out, and try to work out an arrangement, whereby everyones concerns and needs are equally addressed... and " talk it out" doesn't mean.. you establish a bunch of arbitrary rules...
peace
jimmy in rochester...

[micduran 0]

9 pm is really early for adults to be quiet.
vacuuming is ridiculous. a midnight snack is not.

Can you switch rooms with someone and move into a more quiet spot in the house?

This is not your first post about your living situation. If it is that bad you should change it.

Be patient with the faults of others; they have to be patient with yours.

[Thanatos340 1]

The simple answer to the question "Am I Being Unreasonable??"..

Reach Down, Check Chest Area.. Are there "Boobies". If the answer is YES, Then most likely the correct answer to your question is "Yes, You are being unreasonable".

Oh.. And Roommates suck.
And your roommate is right, 9:00pm is too early and it is her home too. Reasonable compromise could be found unless this is two stereotypical females (and yes there are exceptions) we are talking about. In that case, Forget about the reasonable part.

[Broke 0]

The only Solution would be Sophoric Porn

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SCR 14192

[BillyVance 35]

Quote

The only Solution would be Sophoric Porn

Hide child porn in roommate's bed, then call the cops on her. Bye bye roommate.

No, I'm just kidding. Best thing for you to do is move and live alone. I have had my share of lousy roommates.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[Nataly 38]

Quote

the theme of this post reminded me of the thread you began a while ago,,, in which you BLASted a housemate....over similar "inconsiderite" issues...

It's the same housemate!!!

The thing is, that I'm not asking her not to make *any* noise.. I'm asking her to *lower* the volume, after 9pm.

The guy who was there before her used to work night shift.. He used to come in at all hours, cook at all hours, have guests at all hours, and yet it was never loud enough to cause problems.

My other housemate doesn't make a nuisance of himself - he's delightful!!

I've lived in barracks, in the military, with the most obnoxious people you can imagine and *still* they were less disruptive than this girl..

The thing that gets me is that she has listed a series of things that she couldn't tolerate, and I adjusted my behaviour accordingly. But when I ask her just to be more quiet, she thinks I'm being unreasonable! I find her attitude frankly infuriating.

The thing that further irritates me is before she moved in, we specifically said we needed someone who was going to be quiet and considerate.. If she knew she was going to make lots of noise, I feel she shouldn't have lied about what she was like. BTW, the other housemate can't stand her either.. He argues with her almost every day, whereas I actually try to talk to her.

Nothing seems to work. Which is why I'm leaving Oddly enough, my other housemate is looking for another place as well..

I've lived with others all my life & I think I'm pretty tolerant.. I really just need to be able to study and she *knew* this *before* moving in.

I'm so frustrated..

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[turtlespeed 226]

Have a nice long meeting with BOB - life is good and you will be reasonable for a while after.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[downwardspiral 0]

http://www.bose.com/controller?url=/shop_online/headphones/noise_cancelling_headphones/quietcomfort_2/index.jsp

www.FourWheelerHB.com

[BillyVance 35]

Have you told her that you and the other roommate are going to leave if she doesn't tone things down? Maybe realizing that she's going to end up paying 3 times her share of the rent, etc, will wake her up.

Somewhere, you have got to give the bitch an ultimatum. You were there first.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[jimmytavino 16]

I understand a little better, now..it sure does seem like a tough tough situation..

and true enough.. some people just don't get it...sounds like your housemate is simply , one of those types..

good luck. keep studying...


jt

[airathanas 0]

You are not being unreasonable. It's a matter of respecting others. It sounds like your roommate is being disrespectful and inconsiderate. I'd be pissed too if I were in that situation. I don't think 9pm is too early bcecause I start getting ready for bed around that time. If she wants to stay up later than that, the least she could do is respect your wishes and be quiet.

http://3ringnecklace.com/

[Nataly 38]

Quote

http://www.bose.com/controller?url=/shop_online/headphones/noise_cancelling_headphones/quietcomfort_2/index.jsp

I'm thinking about getting ear-plugs.. You know a couple of people have said that, now, but actually it's not a stupid idea!!

But I'm still moving out.. Both me and my other house-mate have tried everything with her. We've even said she should think about what she originally agreed to and if she can't keep to that it's really unfair on us.. But we can't force her to move, so we've both decided to leave instead. I just talked with him earlier and he said he was moving for the same reason!!

Anyway, hopefully I can find somewhere with a slightly better set-up anyway. Prices have gone down, so I may even be able to save some money

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[hcsvader 1]

Why dont you and you other roomate find a place together? Sounds like you two get along pretty well.

I was ivin in a house with 5 other people when i first moved to the city. It pretty much sucked! I got along really well with one of my roomates there. we ended up gettin a place together and ended up livin together for a couple of years.we never once had a fight... except that one time he drank all the beer and didnt let me know we were out when i went to the store...

edited to add:
Yes earplugs work great! I usually work night shift and there are times when there is nothing you can do about noise leves during the day.

Just remember to take them out before talking to anyone or they will wonder why your yelling at them

Have you seen my pants?
it"s a rough life, Livin' the dream
>:)

[Broke 0]

Quote

Quote

http://www.bose.com/controller?url=/shop_online/headphones/noise_cancelling_headphones/quietcomfort_2/index.jsp

I'm thinking about getting ear-plugs.. You know a couple of people have said that, now, but actually it's not a stupid idea!!

But I'm still moving out.. Both me and my other house-mate have tried everything with her. We've even said she should think about what she originally agreed to and if she can't keep to that it's really unfair on us.. But we can't force her to move, so we've both decided to leave instead. I just talked with him earlier and he said he was moving for the same reason!!

Anyway, hopefully I can find somewhere with a slightly better set-up anyway. Prices have gone down, so I may even be able to save some money

Have you and the roomate that you get along with both confronted her at the same time?

Then say try to be more considerate or we are both moving out.

Divot your source for all things Hillbilly.
Anvil Brother 84
SCR 14192

[jcd11235 0]

Have you considered changing the locks?

It would be even better if you got keys that said "Unlawful To Copy." You could explain to her there are only two keys, and that you and the other roommate are terribly sorry, but since she is the newest roommate, she'll have to do without.

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