Skydave103 0 #1 April 8, 2009 Two life-long friends were enjoying a few pints down at the local bar, when one said to the other: "If I ask you a question, will you promise to answer me honestly?" "Yeah, sure thing," replied his friend, "fire away." "Well,” said the first guy, "why do you think all the guys around here find my wife so attractive?" "It's probably because of her speech impediment," replied the second guy. "What do you mean her speech impediment?" inquired the first fellow: "My wife doesn’t have a speech impediment!” "Well," replied his friend, "you must be the only guy who hasn’t noticed that she can’t say 'NO'!" SNAP!LifeshouldNOTbeajourneytothegravewithawellpreservedbody,buttskidinsideways,cigarinone hand,martiniintheother,bodythoroughlyused upandscreaming:"WOO HOO!! What a ride!!!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 2 #2 April 8, 2009 So this hospital nurse is on the first day of working the night shift, right? Anyhow, she hears her patient, an older man wearing an oxygen mask, ask her through the mask: "Nurse, are my testicles black?" Nonplussed, she stoically lifts the man's hospital gown, cups his genitals in her hands, and carefully inspects every millimeter of his scrotum, as well as his shaft for good measure. "Nope," she says at length, "They look fine to me." The man lifts the mask off his mouth, and says, "Now listen very carefully: Are my test results back?" Ba-da bum. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
freefal 0 #3 April 8, 2009 My favorite speech imediment joke: This guy owns a horse farm, and gets a call from a friend "I know this midget with a speech impediment who wants to buy a horse, I'm sending him over." The midget arrives, and the owner asks if he wants a male or female horse. "A female horth," the midget replies. So the owner shows him one. "Nith looking horth, can I thea her mouth?" So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the horse's mouth. "Nith mouth. Can I thea her eyesth?" So the owner picks up the midget and shows him the eyes. "Ok, what about the earsth?" Now the owner is getting pissed, but he picks up the midget one more time and shows him the ears. "OK, finally, I d like to thea her twat," said the midget. With that, the owner picked up the midget and shoved his head up the horse's twat, then pulled him out. Shaking his head, the midget says, "perhapth I should rephrasthe. I'd like to thea her run!" "Ignorance is bliss" and "Patience is a virtue"... So if you're stupid and don't mind waiting around for a while, I guess you can have a pretty good life! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #4 April 8, 2009 TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
