Friday Haiku + Friday Funny

[turtlespeed 226]

Warm Sunshine, no clouds
Today would be a great day
To play in the sky

And todays funny:

Shortly after class, an economics student approaches his economics professor and says, "I don't understand this stimulus bill. Can you explain it to me?"

The professor replied, "I don't have any time to explain it at my office, but if you come over to my house on Saturday and help me with my weekend project, I'll be glad to explain it to you." The student agreed.

At the agreed-upon time, the student showed up at the professor's house. The professor stated that the weekend project involved his backyard pool.

They both went out back to the pool, and the professor handed the student a bucket. Demonstrating with his own bucket, the professor said, "First, go over to the deep end, and fill your bucket with as much water as you can." The student did as he was instructed.

The professor then continued, "Follow me over to the shallow end, and then dump all the water from your bucket into it." The student was naturally confused, but did as he was told.

The professor then explained they were going to do this many more times, and began walking back to the deep end of the pool.

The confused student asked, "Excuse me, but why are we doing this?"

The professor matter-of-factly stated that he was trying to make the shallow end much deeper.

The student didn't think the economics professor was serious, but figured that he would find out the real story soon enough.

However, after the 6th trip between the shallow end and the deep end, the student began to become worried that his economics professor had gone mad.

The student finally replied, "All we're doing is wasting valuable time and effort on unproductive pursuits. Even worse, when this process is all over, everything will be at the same level it was before, so all you'll really have accomplished is the destruction of what could have been truly productive action!"

The professor put down his bucket and replied with a smile, "Congratulations. You now understand the stimulus bill."

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[DaGimp 0]

What is the diffrence between a Thief and a pervert?





















A thief snatches watches........

"Professor of Pimpology"~~~Bolas

[linebckr83 3]

Complete horrible guess here. But I think thieves steal credit cards and perverts steal v-cards. But again thats a total guess and has nothing to do with a stimulus bill.

"Are you coming to the party?
Oh I'm coming, but I won't be there!"
Flying Hellfish #828
Dudist #52

[DaGimp 0]

you bovieously didnt read the bottom line of my post...


a thief snnatches watches......

(and then you would assume)

a pervert watches snatches

"Professor of Pimpology"~~~Bolas

[Glitch 0]

HELL EXPLAINED BY A CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on University of Washington chemistry mid term.
The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the
Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well:

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and
heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which
souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving I think that we can safely assume that
once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are
entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today.
Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since
there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we
can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of
souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because
Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of
Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities:
1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and
pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell,then the temperature and
pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in
Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number
two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary
of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is
therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains
why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."



THIS STUDENT RECEIVED AN A+.

Randomly f'n thingies up since before I was born...